Quintessence
by Winter Coma
Summary: "Valerie, you are the Xiaolin Dragon of Aether." "...Get out of my house or I'm calling the cops."
1. Crackpots and Kidnappers

Chapter 1: Crackpots and Kidnappers

_Yes! I released this story just before Xiaolin Chronicles got out. I always wanted to right my own Xiaolin story, but I didn't want to include Chronicles, so I really had to hurry. Hopefully you all like the first chapter. Chapter length will vary in this story, so if a chapter is shorter than others, that's why. Also, I have no update schedule for this, so if you have to wait weeks between updates, I apologize in advance._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown or any of its characters. If I did, I would have introduced Chronicles a long time ago._

* * *

"What the hell are you smoking?" Valerie Ashford asked the monk sitting serenely in front of her. Normally Valerie wouldn't swear when talking to the elderly, but this crackpot was spewing some seriously crazy chiz right now.

"Did I miss something?" Eric asked as he walked into the living room carrying a tea tray. He was sort of a butler, so it didn't look weird.

"This guy is talking some seriously weird stuff, Eric."

"Should we kick him out then?"

Master Fung, who had been sitting there calmly taking in Valerie's reaction, now held up a hand. "I know what I am saying sounds incredible, but please believe me when I say it is true."

"Why don't you run it by me so I can judge that," Eric said as he set the tea tray on the wooden coffee table in front the fireplace. He then settled in a comfortable, fancy-looking arm chair next to Valerie, and both stared at Master Fung as he told his tale again.

"Thousands of years ago, a furious battle was waged between the great and noble Xiaolin dragon Dashi and the evil Heylin witch Wuya. This was the first Xiaolin Showdown. Wuya pitted her dark magic against Dashi and his mystical, powerful objects, the Shen Gong Wu. In the end, Dashi triumphed, and Wuya was forever imprisoned in a simple wooden puzzle box. The threat averted, Dashi spread his Shen Gong Wu around the earth. For generations, they have secretly maintained the balance of good and evil, and a long line of Xiaolin Dragons stood ready to face evil should that balance ever shift. You, Valerie, are one of the newest Xiaolin Dragons."

"What the hell are you smoking?" Eric asked, looking at Master Fung like he was a crazy person. Master Fung raised an eyebrow. "I know what you may think-"

"Val, call the police, I'll hold him off!" Eric leaped out of his chair and took a ready fighting stance while Valerie started to run to the kitchen where the phone was. Now alarmed, Fung tried to calm everyone down when a voice said, "Whoa, whoa, calm down people!"

Everyone turned to see a green lizard creature with a little red beard and some yellow hair on its back slither its way out Fung's sleeve and onto his shoulder. "I know it sounds crazy, but it's totally true!" the little gecko said, waving one of his little arms.

"Did that snake just talk?" Valerie said in disbelief, forgetting about her earlier goal of getting the crazy bald man in monk clothes out her house.

"I am not a snake, I'm a dragon, and a darn handsome one too!"

"Right…" Valerie stepped up next to Eric, who was still in a ready fighting stance that looked like kickboxing. "Eric, calm down, let's hear the reptile out." Almost immediately Eric calmed down, settling back down in the expensive arm chair he earlier jumped out of. Valerie sat in her own chair and anxiously waited for whatever the monk was going to say next.

Master Fung cleared his throat and settled back down. "As Dojo said, what I say is the truth. The Xiaolin and Heylin forces _do_ exist, and the world needs the Xiaolin Dragon of Aether to protect all that is good."

Valerie closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose; this was a lot to take in at once. "Let's say for a minute that you're telling me the truth, and these Xiaolin and Heylin people exist. Why choose me? Why should I protect the world when someone more…qualified can?"

"Simple," Dojo said, resting on Master Fung's shoulders. "You were chosen because it was fate. You're the only person in the entire world who's qualified for the job."

"…Okay…" Valerie moved on to the next question. "What is aether?"

"Its light," Master Fung said simply. "Or, more specifically, 'the bright, glowing upper air of heaven-the substance of light.'"

"…Sounds like you got it off of Wikipedia."

"Or maybe Wikipedia got it from me."

"Touché," Valerie complimented the monk. "But how do you know I'm the Dragon of Aether? For all we know, there's someone else in the world named Valerie Ashford."

"We have your name, appearance, and current residence listed in this scroll." Fung reached into his loose, white sleeve and got out a gold cylinder with handles on it. He opened the scroll to reveal thin white paper and Chinese symbols written all over it. And right in the center of shown piece was an ink drawing of Valerie, with her waist long brown hair in a braid, wearing a red monk dress with long sleeves and slits up the legs, with blue-black tights and black Chinese slippers on her feet. She was posed in a Chinese fighting stance-Valerie forgot what it was called, but she had her feet spread out until she was nearly crouching like that, with one arm outstretched and bent at the elbow and the other arm following it but at a lower angle, her face stoic and determined.

"So you're stalking me now?" Valerie asked. Eric was beginning to get out of his seat until Dojo began to flail his little arms. "We are not stalking you! That drawing just magically appeared one morning with all your information on it!"

"So…it's a magical stalking scroll?"

Dojo face palmed while Fung sighed deeply. "This meeting is not going well."

"Clearly," Eric said curtly.

Closing the scroll and putting it back in sleeve, Fung stood up. "The Xiaolin Temple is in the heart of China. The temple teaches everything from martial arts to normal high school subjects like math and English. Here is a ticket there along with my contact information." He gave Valerie an airplane ticket and a list of numbers from his sleeve. "I hope to hear from you before the plane leaves this Friday. I'd hate to see the other four Dragons fight evil without a light to guide them."

"I'll show you out," Eric said, slowly getting up from his chair. Dojo looked at Valerie before Fung began to leave. "Remember what we said, kid. You were destined to do amazing things."

Eric probably shouldn't have slammed the door behind them, but after what happened in the last several minutes… He believed it was justified.

He found Valerie still sitting in that chair, staring at the airplane ticket. "You're not actually thinking of going to this temple, are you?"

Valerie shrugged. "I'll look it up first. There's a website."

* * *

Valerie was in her room, waiting for her laptop to boot up. The ticket and list of contacts was right next to the keyboard. Impatient, she stood up and paced the small room with blank white walls. Valerie and Eric traveled a lot together; they knew first hand that putting stuff on the walls would make the next move harder in more ways than one.

Not that Valerie's room wasn't homey. Her bed was small, and she had a little dresser right at the end of the bed, pushed up against the wall. Her closet took up half the wall next to the dresser, which had a normal looking door right next to _that_. Across the room was a desk with a slightly outdated laptop on it and a bookcase filled to near bursting with must-reads from the town's bookstore. And to the left of the desk was a hang-up mirror, placed right where the door would cover it when opened.

Valerie took a second and studied herself. She certainly didn't look like the Dragon in the ink painting. Her light brown hair was out of its usual braid, hanging in natural waves all the down to her waist. She was dressed in normal jeans and a blue t-shirt with the word Switzerland on it in big, red letters-a total tourist item, but Valerie always got a tourist thing whenever she moved to a new country. She had a beret from France, a lacy white fan from Spain, a beer mug from Germany, an amber necklace from Poland, a pair of shoes from Italy…

Valerie considered herself a sporty girl; she preferred jeans, but did like to wear skirts if it looked good. She rarely wore dresses, since they were so impractical. Valerie would have even cut her hair boy-short but Eric swore he would absolutely _kill_ her if she did. Eric was rather old-fashioned that way, saying that girls should wear their hair long and wear makeup and sparkly jewelry and other pretty things.

Valerie didn't think she was particularly beautiful. She had met girls from all over the world who were prettier than her. She recalled a girl from Germany with shiny, honey-blond hair and mesmerizing blue eyes. She used to go to school with a girl with a to-die-for curvaceous figure and deep, soulful dark eyes in Spain. None of them seemed to have Valerie's heart-shaped, pale face with forget-me-not blue eyes and stick figure body. Then again, those girls hadn't practiced martial arts for years on end, so she had easily gained some muscle.

Finally! The computer was on. Valerie quickly typed in the website for the Xiaolin temple and examined the page. It really was a school for martial arts, and it had some of the best teachers in the country teaching math and English and Chinese. Valerie combed the website for anything suspicious, like, say, any mention about Shen Gong Wu or Heylin or Dragons. But no; other than it was for young, elite martial artists, the school looked legit.

A knock was heard on her door. It was Eric, looking stern and tense. A young-looking man in his forties, Eric had been with Valerie as her parents sent her all over the eastern hemisphere. Normally he looked jovial with his twinkly green eyes and a smile hidden under his bushy black moustache, but now he looked mad, and his green shirt and slacks made him look like an angry, well-dressed dad.

"So, did you find anything weird?" Eric asked, pushing a hand through his silky black locks. Unlike Valerie's, his hair was cut boy short. It was so unfair.

"Nope; it's a school the Chinese government officially recognizes."

"Okay, so it really is legit. What else does it say?"

Valerie clicked on the homepage. "It's an elite school for up and coming martial artists. It's got great teachers for all subjects, and it's so selective that only five teenagers get chosen out of thousands. Applying for it doesn't help; the monks come to you. It's some tradition they have."

"I bet they wouldn't get so many applicants if they knew how crazy the monks were with all their talk about good and evil and magical super weapons."

Valerie looked at the airplane ticket on her desk. "…I really think I should go."

"What the hell have you been smoking?"

"Dude, that joke _just_ got old. Don't ruin the moment."

Eric huffed. "Fine, but why are you going? For all we know, this is a school of…of kidnappers!"

Valerie gave him a look. "Eric, this school is recognized _worldwide_. I seriously doubt the people there would be stupid enough to kidnap teenagers when the whole world knows about it." Eric was about to protest, but she cut him off. "I just have a feeling like I should go, and if I don't, I'll be missing out on something really important."

And Valerie did feel that way. She had been training in Kung Fu and other types of fighting since she could walk. Shouldn't she use it for something? Do something good with the immense gift she had been taught? And there was the fact that she was being drawn to the Temple like it was a magnet. That was something she couldn't ignore.

Eric looked at her, defeated. "Fine; I'll take you out of that school your parents signed you up for. I'll even smooth it over with your parents. But you have to talk to this Fung guy. I'll probably flip crazy if I have to enroll you in that school myself."

"Thanks, Eric!" Valerie jumped out of her chair and gave her caretaker a bone-crushing hug. It wasn't until Eric struggled to breathe when she let go. "Sorry!"

"S'okay," he croaked as he closed the door. Valerie got the cell phone out of her pocket and dialed the number Fung left her. When he picked up, she said:

"Are you still interested in taking me on as the Dragon of Aether?"

* * *

Valerie and Eric were at the Geneva airport, waiting for the line at customs to die down a bit. The two didn't have much time left together, since the Xiaolin Temple had dormitories and it was too far away to travel every day. Valerie was all packed, since she had spent most of her life travelling and didn't have more belongings than what two suitcases couldn't hold. All of her books would be shipped straight to the temple, and her parents had renewed that special credit card so Valerie could buy whatever she wanted from anywhere in the world.

"Do you have your laptop?" Eric asked worriedly, wearing his usual green dress shirt, black slacks, and black dress shoes.

"Yes," answered Valerie, patting the laptop case slung over her shoulder.

"Do you have all your toiletries? Extra clothes, extra underwear?"

"Yes."

"Do you have your cell phone and credit card?"

"For the millionth time, yes," Valerie said. The line at customs was smaller now, and like a worried parent, Eric was freaking out over Valerie going across the world without him. "Eric, I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will be, but…" Eric choked back tears. "You're growing up so fast." Valerie bit her lip as tears welled up in her eyes. She hugged Eric, and the two of them clung to each other as if for dear life, at least until Valerie pried herself out of Eric's embrace.

Valerie quickly stepped in line and patiently waited for her turn at customs. When she was done, she looked back to see Eric waving goodbye at her. Valerie waved back, and finally turned away, walking out of customs and out of Eric's line of sight. Quickly she found the closest bathroom and, climbing into an empty stall, began to cry. She didn't care who heard her; she was sad, why shouldn't she cry?

After a few minutes of blubbering, Valerie blew her nose on some toilet paper until her nose wasn't runny anymore. She stepped out of the stall and looked in one of the bathroom mirrors and cringed. Her eyes were puffy, her nose was red, and her face was a sickly pale color. Valerie quickly splashed water on her face, a few of the water drops getting on her off-white wife beater. Using a paper towel, Valerie patted her face dry and looked in the mirror again. Her eyes were still puffy, but she didn't look as sickly. She quickly smoothed down her gray cargo pants and readjusted the white baseball cap on her head. She then gathered all her things and searched for her boarding gate.

* * *

Valerie was not in a good mood when she woke up on the airplane. Then again, the seats were always _really_ uncomfortable.

The plane had just landed in a city in the heart of China; Valerie didn't catch the name of it. All she knew was that someone from the temple was going to be picking her up and would take her there. But before that, she sent a text to Eric just as the plane stopped moving. _Finally made it on the ground. I hate airplanes._

A few minutes later, Valerie got a text from Eric. _Someone sounds grumpy._

_It was a long flight._

_That's what you always say. Just remember if something's weird at that temple, call me, okay? I'll beat 'em all up so you can make your escape._

Valerie gave a little giggle. _Yeah, yeah. Are you implying that I'm grumpy?_

Eric wisely didn't answer back.

After waiting until almost everyone had left the airplane, Valerie got her laptop bag and carry-on and made it out of there and into the terminal. Once she made it past the check-out and to the baggage claim, she immediately spotted two people wearing robes with a blue torso and white sleeves and a black sash belted at the waist, with black pants and black Chinese slippers on their feet.

Valerie did not like the looks she was getting when she walked up to them. "Are you Xiaolin Temple monks?"

"Yes," said the female. She was smaller than her male companion, with short black hair and brown eyes. Her male counterpart was big and beefy with a shaved head. He was obviously here just to carry Valerie's bags.

"We have a car that will transport us to the temple. There you will meet the other four Dragons," the woman reassured her. "Now, what does your luggage look like?"

* * *

_I didn't want to leave off here, but I also didn't want the first chapter to be daunting, so I cut off at a weird part._

_So, why is a Greek element hanging around with the Chinese elements? All will be revealed eventually, but I would like to hear your theories._

_Fun fact: Ashford is actually a cigarette brand popular in New Zealand, Australia and Canada. Maybe that'll clue you in on Valerie's real nationality._


	2. Magical Coins and Culture Shock

Chapter 2: Magical Coins and Culture Shock

_Okay, okay, I'm updating! Stop giving me the puppy dog pout._

_Like I said, there won't be much of a schedule, so if you have to wait a long time in between updates, sorry in advance._

_Hate to break it to you guys, but from here on out it's going to be a little less funny, nothing like the first chapter. I'm following the series as best as I can, only adding in Shen Gong Wu from the trading card game to spice things up. If any of you have ideas for Wu, I'd like to hear them and I'll credit you in the chapter I introduce them. Sound good?_

* * *

The sight of the valley took Valerie's breath away. A vast yard of flowers surrounded the temple, with Chinese elms guarding the gates. The temple was really a village of white houses with blue shingled roofs, but there was a large, cylinder, white tower in the very center. It was so beautiful it hurt Valerie's eyes to look at it.

"Come along, Valerie," Chan said, leading her through the front gate. Valerie followed the female monk with Hui following her, carrying her bags. Suddenly Hui went to the left, away from the two women.

"Hui is just putting your things in your new room," Chan explained as she led the way into one of the white buildings. All the houses had circular windows without glass-weird. But Valerie didn't dwell on that. She was too busy following Chan into the building, a place with rice paper walls and wooden floors and Chinese plants dotting the hallways.

Chan finally led Valerie into some sort of dark hallway with plants in big blue vases. It was kind of ominous, especially since there was only one window. "Here you are," Chan told Valerie. "I'll leave you here so you can meet the other Dragons." And then Chan left, leaving Valerie to deal with the two guys already in the room.

"Well, howdy there, I'm Clay," said the cowboy with the Southern drawl. Seriously; tan cowboy boots, jeans, a blue button up shirt over his muscular torso, a red handkerchief tied around his neck, and a ten-gallon brown cowboy hat covering his blond hair.

"I'm Valerie," she introduced herself, shaking Clay's gloved hand. She liked how Clay looked at her-straight in the eye, not distractedly like so many other people Valerie could name. She turned to the other boy.

"Call me Raimundo," the other guy said, holding out his hand. He was naturally tanned with short, spiky brown hair and thick eyebrows hiding green eyes. He seemed to be a sporty type, since he was wearing a white short-sleeved hoodie, green cargo pants, red basketball shoes, and a red wristband on each wrist. A yellow medallion dangled from his neck and moved as made his way over to Valerie. She noticed that she just made it to his shoulders.

Valerie and Raimundo shook, and Valerie asked, "So who are we waiting for?"

Raimundo shrugged his shoulders. "I guess for the other dragons." And no sooner had he said that when another girl came walking in, talking on her blue cell phone.

The first thing Valerie noticed was her outfit: blue sneakers with white knee socks, a red and white vertically striped skirt that also covered her stomach, a blue baby doll t-shirt with a large red star on it, long, white fingerless gloves that stretched to her shoulders, and blonde hair tied in a braid with a long blue ribbon with white hairpins stuck in it. And then Valerie noticed that this girl was still talking on the phone, and probably didn't even know there were others in the room.

"Oh, wait, hold on," the American Girl said into her phone. She turned to the other students. "Hi, I'm Kimiko."

"I'm Valerie."

"I'm Raimundo."

"I'm Clay."

Kimiko nodded at them before going back to her conversation. The other three waited in uncomfortable silence until Master Fung showed up with the fifth and final student, a boy with strange yellow skin and large, bulbous head, wearing red monk robes, a black sash attached to his waist, black pants and black Chinese slippers. He was tiny, barely getting up to Kimiko's waist.

The infamous Master Fung, a bald man with a black beard and moustache combo wearing the traditional Xiaolin outfit, told the little guy, "Omi, this is Raimundo-"

"'Sup."

"-Kimiko-"

"He said that? No way!"

"-Valerie-"

"Hi."

"-and Clay."

"Well, howdy, there."

"Master, where are the new students?" Omi inquired. He clearly could not handle the culture shock.

"Right in front of you," Master Fung said gently.

Omi looked at the four dubiously. "They…are not what I expected."

"The best things in life rarely are," Fung answered wisely, as all master monks do.

"You are right master," Omi conceded. He turned to his fellow Dragons. "Welcome my strangely attired friends!"

"I must be going, young monks," Master Fung suddenly said, leaving the room. "I see there is much teaching to be done here."

"Yes, master, much teaching indeed," Omi said, giving the 'strangely attired' kids a _look_. Valerie could already tell she was not going to like this kid. She looked over at the others to see their reactions. She looked to her right to see Raimundo smiling at her. Valerie returned it; so he also thought the same thing about this Omi kid.

* * *

They were in the beautiful courtyard at this point, and Omi was walking on two fingers and the others following him as he gave them the grand tour. "The key is balance," he was telling them. "You are beginners, so you might want to use three fingers."

"Uh, just curious," Clay hesitantly said, "but when will we need this?"

"Try never," Raimundo scoffed.

"Okay, Keiko, I'll email it to you," Kimiko said to her friend over the phone, snapping shut the connection. "Is there a net connection around here?" she asked Omi, who was walking normally now.

When no one answered, Kimiko said, "No? I'll use Wi-Fi." Kimiko immediately pulled out a blue PDA out of her little white backpack and immediately began to use the email function on it.

"Oooh," Omi said, clamoring his way to Kimiko. "What is that? Is it magic?"

"It's a PDA," Kimiko said. "I'm sending a message to a friend in Tokyo." Valerie didn't know if that explained the crazy getup the Asian girl was wearing-she had never been to Japan before. Was it one of the styles over there?

"A secret message?" Omi asked, captivated by this wonderful device.

"No," Kimiko said slowly, "I'm just telling her about this very strange kid who apparently doesn't know about personal space issues."

"Really?" Omi got real close to Kimiko. "Is it that guy?" He pointed to Clay.

"Not me, partner," he said jovially.

"It's you, chrome-dome," Raimundo said bluntly as Omi blushed.

But Valerie was more worried about the supposed lack of Internet connection. Her laptop probably used Wi-Fi, but what if it didn't? How else was she supposed to email Eric? It wasn't like her phone had Internet. And talking on the phone from across the world really ate away at her minutes.

And now Omi was running around like a crazy person, shouting about how he wanted the rest of them to defy him or something. Valerie wasn't paying attention. But she did notice Clay turning some rope into a lasso. Where'd he get that?

Clay swung the lasso over his head and threw it at Omi, catching him by his feet and dragging him towards the others. "Hold on there, little buddy," Clay said. "I can't resist a challenge."

"Uh-huh. The cowboy just lassoed the little guy," Kimiko said into her phone. At this point Valerie was getting her iPod out, about to let the genius of The Who and The Beatles take over her brain when Omi started to yell: "I am the teacher! You are the students! You will give me the respect I deserve!"

"Since you've done nothing but patronize us all day, I seriously doubt it," Valerie said, miffed at the little monk. Seriously, who did this guy think he was, anyway?

"Respect this." And then Raimundo pulled down Omi's pants, revealing white briefs. Kimiko laughed, saying into her phone, "No way; the Brazilian kid just pantsed the bald kid!" Valerie held up a hand to Raimundo, and he high-fived her.

But before they could start a conversation, Master Fung called out them. "Come, young monks! Something has happened!"

* * *

"Something activated the Shen Gong Wu?" Valerie repeated. Everyone was in a large, circular, stone room with plush red carpeting in the middle, and with vase plants dotting the sides. Everyone was sitting in a circle Indian style, listening to Master Fung.

"Yes, and if Wuya finds them, the world will be plunged in ten thousand years of darkness." Well that was a happy thought. "We must collect all them before Wuya does."

"I have a question," interrupted Raimundo, raising his hand slightly.

"Yes, Raimundo?" inquired Master Fung, expecting a normal question, like 'how will we find these Shen Gong Wu?'"

"I saw my room, and there's no bed, just a mat. What the dilly?"

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "What does _that_ have to do with _anything_?" Valerie asked, perplexed.

Raimundo smiled sheepishly. "Um, we can talk later."

* * *

They were in a small red room now, with candles on poles in the corners and a large, circular window with square bars taking up most of a wall. Underneath the window was a long, wooden table with a single scroll on it, coated in a gold-metal substance.

"This is an artifact that will follow its owner anywhere," Master Fung explained, opening it.

"The Ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu," Omi gasped. The piece of paper shown on the scroll had a circular window thing with moving pictures and Chinese symbols surrounding it.

"The Mantis Flip Coin," Master Fung said as the blue picture revealed a medallion-like object. "Whoever wields it will have the skill of a mantis."

"Wild!" commented Kimiko.

As Master Fung closed the scroll, Omi announced, "So, our grand quest begins. Follow me to victory!" And then he ran out of the room like a man on a mission. This was eventually followed by a sheepish "I have no idea where I'm going."

"Yeah, how do we find the Shen Gong Wu?" Valerie asked the master. He turned to the little green gecko that had slithered into the room when nobody was looking.

"Dojo helped Master Dashi hide them."

"Yeah, but that was a _long_ time ago," Dojo said. "You can't possibly expect me to remember where-" Dojo suddenly began to tremble and shake and pointed out in front of him. "This way."

"Yeah, like we're going to take directions from a gecko," Raimundo scoffed.

"GECKO?!" Dojo roared, spinning in place. His body was stretching itself out, getting bigger and bigger until Dojo became a big, scary, fire-breathing dragon. He got all up in Raimundo's face. "DON'T EVER CALL ME A GECKO!"

"My mistake," Raimundo whimpered, a broken smile overtaking his face.

Instead of being afraid, Valerie said out loud, "So you really are a dragon."

Dojo turned to her, snorting fire. "You're darn right I am!"

Valerie patted Dojo on the nose like he was a pet dog. "I'm sorry for doubting you. So, when do we leave?"

* * *

Ten minutes later, Dojo was flying the Dragons to the Mantis Flip Coin. Now, Valerie was used to high altitudes-she had spent a good chunk of her life in airplanes. But she had always been encased in a protective metal armor with attendants and food and uncomfortable seats. Now she was thirty-thousand feet in the air on the back of a dragon, with no seatbelts and no protection against the wind.

Still, riding on Dojo's back was pretty comfortable, if a bit scaly.

Dojo did not seem to enjoy carrying them across the world. "I can't believe I went from temple guardian to babysitter in less than a day!" he griped as the kids ignored him.

Valerie wished she had brought something to pass the time like Kimiko did. She was playing with some portable game player, and Omi was all over her trying to figure out what it was.

Valerie turned to the other boys behind her. "So, where you guys from?"

"Brazil," Raimundo answered.

"Texas," Clay said proudly, tilting his hat. "How about you?"

"Well, I'm Canadian, but I never really spent much time there."

"Really? Where'd you move to?" Raimundo asked, curious.

Valerie began to list the places. "First there was Spain, then Italy, then Germany, then Poland, then Russia, then France, and finally Switzerland. That's where I was contacted by the Temple."

The two boys gaped at her. "You've been everywhere," Clay said breathlessly.

Valerie shrugged. "I haven't been to either of the Americas, and this is my first time in any part of Asia," she said truthfully.

"What exactly do your parents do for a living?" Raimundo inquired.

Valerie was about to answer, but then Omi started telling Kimiko, "Look, my new little friend cooperates with me as I push the buttons." Kimiko must have given him her videogame to let him play, and now he was happily playing with it. At least until Raimundo pushed the off button, shutting off the game.

And then Omi began to cry big, fat tears of sorrow and began to scream, "Oh, the dark forces of evil! Pochi, are you in there? Can you hear the sound of my voice?"

Raimundo chuckled evilly until Kimiko punched him in the arm. "Don't mess with the monk!" she hissed before turning to comfort poor Omi.

"Girl, you hit hard," Raimundo said, rubbing his sore spot.

Valerie smacked him upside the head. "Don't you think that was a little uncalled for?"

"It was just a joke!"

"Yeah, a joke that made him cry. Those aren't funny." Valerie turned away from Raimundo as he rubbed his sore head, grumbling about the girls he had to deal with.

* * *

It wasn't long until Dojo landed near a busy street in a bustling city. Asian signs covered the place, and the street smelled of exhaust and the trash of open establishments. "A lot has changed in the last fifteen hundred years," Dojo said, his jaw dropping.

"So many buildings; so many people. What is this place?" Omi asked the others, since he never left the temple.

"San Francisco." Raimundo grinned at Valerie. "Welcome to America."

"We got a Mantis Flip Coin to find," said Kimiko, wanting to get down to business.

Dojo began to sniff the air. "It's close," he said. "Real close."

"Bow before me, citizens of planet Earth! I now rule you with the Mantis Flip Coin!" a pompous voice rang out in the alley where the Xiaolin Dragons were. Everyone turned to see a strangely dressed boy standing on a low roof top, decked out in: a black overcoat, black jeans, black combat boots, black fingerless gloves, and a funny-looking backpack strapped to him. He had unusually pale skin with mascara under his red eyes, and under his right eye he had drawn a single dark line down his cheek to make himself look evil. His yellow goggles were hidden in his dyed red hair, giving him a sort of steam punk look.

And most importantly? He had the Mantis Flip Coin, a red Chinese coin with gold markings, showing it off in his gloved hand. After shouting out the name, the boy jumped and did a flip in midair before he landed safely on the ground. He glared at the good guys.

"You cannot rule the Earth yet," a scary voice reminded him. A purple ghost appeared next to the Heylin boy, her hair looking like a squid. But her most noticeable feature was her mask, a white thing with evil red and black markings and large yellow eyes that could easily scare little kids.

"What do you mean?" the boy whined.

"You have but one Shen Gong Wu."

"Well, how many are there?"

"Hundreds!"

"Hundreds?!" the boy squeaked. "Okay, you're going to have to get solid and help me out here."

Omi calmly walked up to the Heylin boy and said, "Hello, friend. That coin is of great mystical importance. May we please have it?"

The Heylin boy laughed in the monk's face. "No way, Shorty. This Shen Gong Wu is mine!"

"How does he know about the Shen Gong Wu?" Raimundo asked no one in particular.

"How indeed?" the purple ghost mocked, appearing beside the bad guy evilly.

"Wuya?" Dojo exclaimed. "The years have not been kind to you."

"Mind your tongue, pest!" Wuya yelled at him. "Dashi isn't here to protect you!" As if to drive the point home, Dojo fled and slithered into Omi's robes. This must be a normal occurence, because Omi went on and pointed a righteous finger at Wuya.

"You cannot stop us."

"She can't," the bad guy said, "but I can. Jack-Bots, attack!" Pressing a command button on his watch, a bunch of bronze robots without legs or arms and slightly Roman facial features appeared, standing in the way of the good guys.

"Mince them," Jack ordered. Immediately, whirling shoulder blades appeared out of the robots shoulders, and they all went after the monks.

Fearlessly, Valerie punched one of the Jack-Bots and sent it back a little, but it still went after her. Undeterred, Valerie jumped into the air and spun around, kicking the head off the robot in one fell swoop. The others were doing the same to their opponents, though Clay was the only one to destroy a Jack-bot just by slamming into it.

The fight was over quickly, since there weren't many robots to fight. After the good guys turned the last of the robots into scrap metal, Jack complained to Wuya, "You didn't mention freaks in pajamas looking for the Shen Gong Wu!"

"Details!" Wuya scoffed. "You got the Flip Coin, now go!" Following her orders, two poles appeared out of Jack's backpack, and the blades spun around and lifted Jack in the air.

Omi immediately went after him, jumping on some more robots that Jack had sent at the last minute. Valerie kicked a hole through the torso of another robot. With difficulty, she shook it off and kicked it towards another robot, making both explode.

Valerie heard screaming behind her. She turned to see Raimundo dodge a Jack-bot that Kimiko had accidentally thrown his way. Clay, who hadn't noticed, didn't dodge in time. Valerie could only watch helplessly as Clay was thrown backwards into Omi, who was _this_ close to catching Jack.

"A lesson for losers: never mess with Jack Spicer!" Jack laughed evilly as he flew away with the Mantis Flip Coin.

"Please remove your gigantic self from being on top of my body," Omi pleaded as he struggled to get out from under Clay's legs.

"Well, sorry there, little buddy," Clay apologized as he got off of Omi.

Put Omi wasn't putting up with any of it. "Because of you four, we have lost a Shen Gong Wu!"

"Dude, it was a coin," Valerie pointed out unhelpfully.

"A magical coin! Do you not understand?"

"Apparently not," Valerie muttered under her breath. Truthfully, she did understand that the Shen Gong Wu had super amazing magical powers, but the Mantis Flip Coin only allowed people to do a flip in midair. That one didn't seem very important.

"The more Shen Gong Wu Wuya possesses, the stronger she is!" Omi went on like he hadn't heard what Valerie said.

"We're sorry, Omi," Kimiko said.

"We'll try better next time," Clay tried to appease the monk.

"Next time is now," Dojo said, tugging Omi's sleeve like a small child. "I'm sensing another Shen Gong Wu!"

"Let's see what we got." Kimiko got the Ancient Scroll out of her white kitty face backpack and unrolled it.

"The Two-Ton Tunic; aw, I remember that," Dojo said wistfully. "It was Dashi's invulnerable armor," he continued as the scroll showed a man using the tunic to shield himself from arrows.

"Excellent!" Kimiko cheered. "Spicer better watch his back, because this one is ours!"

* * *

"The Two-Ton Tunic is mine!" Jack Spicer cheered as he held the tan cloth in his hands.

"Not so fast!" Raimundo cried as he and Clay ran after him on the docks of Venice. To dodge, Jack fell backward into a gondola, accidentally tripping on his own feet and letting go of the shirt as he plunged into the boat. The boat glided across the water as the Xiaolin monks claimed their prize.

"Finally, the Two-Ton Tunic is mine!" Omi held the shirt over his head like a trophy, smirking triumphantly.

"Better not count your chickens before they hatch," Clay told him as Jack-Bots appeared to assimilate them.

"A fearsome fight, but they are no match for the Two-Ton Tunic!" Omi pulled the shirt over him just as it became armor. It was far too big and heavy for Omi, and the dock couldn't hold his weight. With a shake, the dock fell, everybody getting soaked in the process.

* * *

"It's not the way Grand Master Dashi would have done it, but you're still learning," Dojo tried to comfort the soaking wet Dragons as he flew through the sky towards the next Shen Gong Wu.

Omi, sitting apart from the rest, admonished, "I do not wish to speak of the failures of me or my students. I just want to find the next Shen Gong Wu."

"Which is?" Valerie asked Kimiko, who held the Ancient Scroll.

"The Eye of Dashi," Kimiko announced.

"I reckon it shoots lightning something fierce," Clay explained as the moving picture showed just that.

* * *

The location for the Eye of Dashi was in a mountainous area, full of trees and flowers and sylvan creatures. "My kind of place," Clay said approvingly.

"Are you kidding?" Kimiko complained. "I can't even get a signal here."

Raimundo was holding Dojo like a tracker, pointing him in every which direction. "If I were a lightning shooting Shen Gong Wu, where would I be?" he muttered as he did so.

"Close," said Dojo. "Very close."

Everyone walked around, searching for any sign of Jack or mystical energy running loose. And then Omi spotted it, hanging by a thin rope on a giant elm tree. It was diamond shaped with a single red ruby in the middle.

Omi immediately went after it, and just as he grabbed it, Jack Spicer appeared out of nowhere, grabbing it at the same time. "Sorry, monk boy! The Eye of Dashi is mine."

The two began to have a tug war over it, and then the Wu began to glow. "Hey, what's with the glowing?" Jack inquired. Omi stared wide-eyed at the artifact.

"It…is a Xiaolin Showdown."

"It's a what now?" Raimundo asked Dojo.

"A Xiaolin Showdown; it's what two warriors do when there's a stalemate over a Shen Gong Wu," the dragon explained. "Two words: _Frea-ky_."

"Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!" Omi declared. "I wager my Two-Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin." He pointed to a little stone path a ways from the elm tree. "Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi and the other Shen Gong Wu as well."

"Accept the challenge!" Wuya ordered, hanging around Jack's shoulder like the devil's advocate. "Accept it!"

Jack, who had hesitated before, was now determined. "I accept your challenge, Omi."

"Let's go: Xiaolin Showdown!" And with that, a bright light covered everything, and the earth shifted beneath, rearranging itself to fit the challenges' needs. The simple stones became giant pillars in the sky, overseeing the white clouds. The Eye of Dashi was hovering against the final stone like a tantalizing prize.

"I did not expect this," Omi thought out loud, beginning to freak out. Suddenly Dojo slithered out of the Two-Ton Tunic's shirt form.

"That's a Xiaolin Showdown for you; always leaves you guessing. GONG YE TAN PAI!" he suddenly shouted, his voice carrying into the wind.

Jack and Omi stared at Dojo. "That means go."

"How am I supposed to do this?" Jack asked, since this was also his first Showdown.

"Use the Shen Gong Wu!" Wuya reminded him.

"Oh yeah. Mantis Flip Coin!" And Jack was off, jumping and doing flips in the air as he safely landed on the stone path.

"Two-Ton Tunic!" Omi cried, the fabric becoming too large armor and making the boy land on his back.

The others were watching from the sidelines, on a rocky cliff far away from the match. The wind whipped Valerie's hair to and fro, making her wish she had put it in a braid, or at least a ponytail.

"You know what I just realized?" Raimundo said suddenly. "Master Fug never did answer my question about the bed."

"Yeah, because that totally matters right now." Valerie turned her attention to Omi trapped in the tunic. "Kick Spicer's butt, Omi!"

As if he heard her, Omi picked himself up and jumped heavily onto the next stone, slowly but surely making his way towards the end.

But Jack Spicer was too far ahead and he actually took the time to cheat. Two Jack-Bots appeared, aiming their deadly blades at Omi. Omi looked hopeless in that situation, but then he suddenly body slammed into one of them, throwing his weight around.

"That's how you do it!" Clay cheered him on.

The other robot neared Omi, but instead of body slamming it, Omi crept out of the armor through a sleeve and attached himself to the Jack-Bot. "Always honor the power of the off switch!" he announced as the robot powered down. Before the robot fell to oblivion, Omi jumped back into the Two-Ton Tunic.

"Don't mess with the monk!" cried Kimiko.

Jack, who had just been standing there watching Omi defeat his cheat code, decided that fun time was over and that he needed to finish the race. But Omi had almost caught up with him; he was literally one step away from Jack.

"It is best not to patronize people, Jack Spicer!" Omi yelled out.

"Nice work, Omi!" Valerie shouted, happy that Omi had listened to her.

With one last effort, Omi launched himself at Jack, only to fall at his feet because of the tunic. "Now maybe you should respect the genius of Jack Spicer!" Jack said arrogantly, throwing his head back and laughing.

"Respect this!" And down went Jack's pants, revealing pink boxers with yellow smiley faces on them. As Jack tried to tug them back up, Omi went past him and grabbed the Eye of Dashi.

With another blinding light, the earth returned to normal, with Omi standing triumphantly with three trophies on his person. "That was sweet!" Kimiko cheered as the good guys ran up to Omi.

"You done a good day's round up there, partner," said Clay.

"I really liked that thing," Raimundo said, pointing to the tunic. "What's it called again?"

"The Two-Ton Tunic!" Omi yelled, accidentally making the shirt become armor again. He fell over due to the weight.

"I gotcha," Raimundo said, picking him back up, and everybody laughed at Omi's blunder-even Omi.

* * *

**Back at the Temple**

Everyone had been given their official monk uniforms: the guys got red v-neck shirts with black sashes at their waists, white pants and black Chinese slippers. The girls got red v-neck dresses with slits up to the thighs with black sashes and black slippers like the boys, only the girls had to wear tights underneath. Valerie chose the blue-black kind she had seen in that ink drawing, and she had put her long hair in a braid. Kimiko had chosen white stockings, and Valerie had been surprised to see that the earlier blonde hair had just been a wig; Kimiko had natural black hair put into pigtails with red ribbons, which made her seem extremely adorable.

All the new monks were in the red circular room with blue adornments and Chinese potted plants placed strategically around them, listening to Master Fung. "I say they did exceptionally well, wouldn't you agree, Dojo?"

Dojo, who was lying in a self-made hammock between some plants, said, "Eh, they weren't bad for amateurs."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step," Master Fung remarked wisely.

"Where do you get this stuff?"

"I have a desk."

"Master Fung," Omi said sadly, "there are so many Shen Gong Wu left to be found."

"You're new friends will help you," Master Fung said comfortingly.

"Oh, yes, I have already taught them so much!"

"But Omi," exclaimed Master Fung, "they are here to teach _you_!"

Omi looked around at his friends like he couldn't believe it. "But, Master, _I_ am the chosen one!"

"But you aren't the only chosen one, Omi. Someday, your friends may become dragons as well." He began to list them one by one. "Kimiko, the Dragon of Fire. Clay, the Dragon of Earth. Valerie, the Dragon of Aether. Raimundo, Dragon of the Wind."

"Is…this true?" Omi still couldn't believe it.

"Yes," Master Fung said, "but I didn't want to tell you until you were ready."

Omi fainted, falling on his back.

"I don't think he was ready," Clay stated the obvious.

* * *

_Like I said, it follows the episode. But I added my own bits of humor, so it's not bad in my opinion._

_Also, I'm making Valerie stupidly fearless. I plan on showing off how overly confident she really is. It's supposed to be her tragic flaw. Hopefully it'll work out._


	3. Slow Old Men and Evil Cookies

Chapter 3: Slow Old Men and Evil Cookies

_As the amazing and intelligent **bbst **pointed out, I am following this story episode-by-episode. The Showdowns I have planned aren't very imaginative, but I'll try my damn best to deviate from the canon as much as possible. _

_I don't want to copy word-for-word, but for right now I have to. __These next few chapters deal with some serious character development. Everyone HAS to trust Clay's 'slow and steady wins the race' tactic; Kimiko HAS to learn how to control her temper better; Raimundo HAS to learn that studying and listening to people can ensure victory._

_I will change up the chapters eventually, but for right now they'll follow the canon very closely. So please, please, please stay with me as I go through some of the more important episodes._

* * *

"I hate math," Valerie moaned as normal lessons ended for the day. Since the Xiaolin Temple was still technically a school, all students had to take normal classes in the morning and early afternoon. It was hell.

"At least they don't give us homework," Kimiko told her cheerfully as the girls went to their rooms, their textbooks in backpacks slung over their shoulders.

The rooms the students slept in were door-less and right next to each other, with rice paper walls dividing the rooms. Raimundo had been right about the beds; there weren't any, only mats to sleep on. At least then the teenagers had more room for their belongings.

"Come on, girls, hurry it up!" Raimundo called out to them as they put away their things.

"Why should we?" Valerie called back.

"We've got an obstacle course today!"

* * *

Omi screamed a victory cry as he used a pole to fly himself over a little green swamp full of fake crocodiles, which were snapping their mouths.

Omi landed on the other side of a wall, and immediately spears were thrown at him from large wooden shooters on poles. Omi dodged them all using fancy footwork, and then ran up to the box with three blue vases on it. He jumped up and smashed one of them, and then glided around the second vase to destroy the third.

Omi then ran past sharp, axe-like pendulums and narrowly dodged swinging sand bags. He ran and leaped to grab the target, a stuffed dog on a pedestal. But first Omi had to get past the flaming ring, which was really fake. With a theatric duck-and-roll, Omi dodged the ring of fire and grabbed the dog, landing like a cat on his feet.

Kimiko stopped the time on the stopwatch. "Nice going, Omi!" she congratulated him. "You were eight seconds faster than Raimundo."

Raimundo grabbed the stuffed dog out of Omi's hands and put it back on the pedestal. "Yeah, you are one slippery little dude," he said.

"Yes, but I shamefully and pathetically lost a quarter of a second on the sand bags," Omi replied sadly. "As you might say, I smell bad."

"You mean, 'I stink'," Raimundo corrected him.

"I stink?" Omi asked dubiously.

"Yeah, and you smell bad, too," Raimundo said with a snigger. Omi began to pout and Valerie punched Raimundo in the shoulder, knocking him back.

"You're the last one up, Clay," she told the cowboy. Kimiko readied the stopwatch as Clay strolled towards the entrance of the obstacle course, a wooden gate with two pillars on each side.

"So all I got to do is be the fastest one to get to that doggie?" Clay asked for clarification, pointing to the stuffed dog.

"Correct," Omi confirmed.

"Alright then," Clay said, taking a deep breath. He then began to stretch out his arms, taking his time.

Raimundo crept up to Omi and Valerie and said to the little guy, "Your record's safe. His element his Earth; the speed of a rock." Valerie rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.

"Ready?" Kimiko readied the stopwatch. "Go!"

Instead of instantly leaping towards the obstacles, Clay calmly turned around and walked towards the back. He got the stuffed animal away from the "flaming" ring and went back towards the finish line.

Clay handed the dog to Omi and said, "I think I shaved off a few seconds on your record there."

Valerie, Kimiko, and Raimundo all burst out laughing, because they had all went forward with the challenge with such gusto that they hadn't stopped to think about the easy way out of the challenge.

Omi would have none of it. "But you are supposed to run and jump and kick!" Omi said indignantly, giving the doggie back to Clay.

"But I didn't see the point of all that hoopin' and hollerin' so long as I got the dog," Clay explained, still with that relaxed smile on his face.

"Or you knew you couldn't beat us with your old man kung-fu!" Raimundo joked, mimicking the weird gestures Clay had made at the beginning of the challenge.

It took Omi a second to get the joke. "Oh, I get it. Raimundo is mocking Clay's Tai-Chi by calling it 'old man kung fu'! He implies Clay is like an old man!" Omi literally fell on the floor laughing just as Master Fung showed up to see our progress.

"Ix-nay on the teasing!" Valerie hissed at Omi, who couldn't hear him. Raimundo began to whistle like he was totally innocent.

"Is there something funny about old men and their kung fu, young monk?" Master Fung asked Omi. Omi immediately stopped laughing and got up from the ground.

"You do recall that the oldest oak in the grove is by far the strongest, yes?"

Omi bowed down as an apology. "Yes, master." But that apparently didn't last long, because he then said, "Clay cheated!"

With everlasting patience, Master Fung replied, "There is more to being a Xiaolin Dragon than running and jumping, young monk."

"Oh, yes, master," Omi said, "there is kicking too!"

"Yes, but it also means seeing the world in a different way; for example, finding simple solutions to complicated problems." Fung went over to Clay and patted him on the shoulder. "Well done, Clay."

Clay tipped his hat. "Thank you, sir."

"Look alive, people!" Dojo suddenly slithered over to the monks with the Ancient Scroll in his little green hands. "We got a hot Shen Gong Wu!"

Dojo opened the scroll to reveal a moving picture of the next Shen Gong Wu, the Fist of Tebigong. From the look of it, it packed some serious punch.

* * *

Master Fung led the Dragons to the giant white temple in the center of the village. Inside was a little circular room with a bunch of old monks sitting around a gold pot filled with incense. There was a large, red circle motif around the cauldron, which the monks took care to avoid.

Master Fung tapped the bells next to the doorway in a quick little ditty, and with a rumble, half of the red circle fell to the ground, revealing a staircase that led into the underground. Valerie followed the others down the dank winding staircase, which conveniently had lit paper lanterns on the walls so no one would be completely blind.

"Quick young ones choose your Shen Gong Wu for battle," Master Fung ordered as the teenagers went over to little stone shelves in the wall. All of them had an engraving for the type of Shen Gong Wu that was supposed to go in.

Valerie was about to grab the Eye of Dashi when Raimundo yelled out, "Dibs!" and grabbed it away from her.

"Hey, I wanted that!"

"Neither of you can have it!" Omi exclaimed. "You don't know what it will do."

"Sure, I do," Raimundo said as he dodged Valerie's grabby hands. "It's supposed to shoot lightning…and stuff. Besides, I called it."

"I had the shelf open," Valerie retorted.

"And I won it in the Showdown!" Omi said. "I should be the first to use it."

"Fighting over a Shen Gong Wu?" Master Fung looked at the three of them, disappointed. "Are you trying to start a Xiaolin Showdown?"

Valerie calmed down enough to not grab the Eye of Dashi out of Raimundo's hands. Besides, she wanted to know how Master Fung would divvy up the Shen Gong Wu, since there were three of them and five Dragons.

"I believe the Eye of Dashi should go to the winner of the obstacle challenge," Master Fung said, taking the mystical artifact out of Raimundo's hands.

Omi threw his hands up in the air like he just didn't care and turned to Raimundo and Valerie. "In your head!"

"It's in your face," Valerie corrected him sourly.

"Talk to my fingers." Neither Valerie nor Raimundo bothered that time.

"Actually, Omi, I meant Clay," Master Fung clarified. "He was the fastest."

"WHAT?!" Omi shouted in disbelief, even though it was technically true.

Master Fung gave the Eye of Dashi to Clay. "Use it well," he said.

Clay tipped his hat. "Much obliged."

Master Fung got out the other two Shen Gong Wu and gave Raimundo the Mantis Flip Coin and Kimiko the Two-Ton Tunic. Valerie was a little disappointed that she didn't get a Shen Gong Wu, but the thought of winning another one helped.

After getting the Shen Gong Wu from the vault, the Dragons sans Omi went back to their rooms to change. Valerie pulled her hair out of its braid and let it loose. She quickly changed into a raglan shirt with short yellow sleeves and a black torso with the yellow Batman symbol on the chest. Valerie paired it with jeans and black and white Converse sneakers and a black baseball cap with the word "Dork" on the front colored in white.

Raimundo was dressed once again in green cargo pants, a short-sleeved white sweatshirt with the yellow medallion, red wristbands and red sneakers. Clay was dressed once again like a stereotypical cowboy: blue button up shirt, jeans tucked in tan cowboy boots, a red handkerchief tied around his neck, tan gloves, and his signature cowboy hat that he never took off, not even in Xiaolin uniform.

Kimiko was once again the most colorful out of all of them. She had on a pink wig with her hair bunched in two side pigtails, a pink t-shirt with a green frog on it, a white skirt with blue go-go boots, and a furry blue backpack.

Valerie eyed the girl while they waited for the boys to finish changing. "What are the chances that you won't dress in something loud and colorful?"

"Slim to none," Kimiko replied.

* * *

The Fist of Tebigong was in a mountainous forest region, like the Eye of Dashi. Dojo set the Dragons in a clearing due to some sort of Shen Gong Wu rash.

"Can you tell us where the Shen Gong Wu is?" Valerie asked as Dojo shrunk to his normal size and scratched all over.

"Yeah, tell us instead of making us look for it," Raimundo demanded as he began to look through some bushes.

But instead of the Shen Gong Wu, it was Jack Spicer with his posse of Jack-Bots, right behind the bushes. Everyone immediately struck a kung fu pose, because they were awesome like that.

"Jack-Bots, attack!" Jack ordered his robots. The robots immediately went to attack with their bladed shoulder blades.

"WATER!" Omi shouted and began to jump on the Jack-Bots and kick them away.

"WIND!" shouted Raimundo as he took the head of a Jack-Bot and threw it at another, making it explode. Another tried to take him from behind, but Raimundo jumped over it and took its head off.

"Hey, robot; forget something?" Raimundo taunted, brandishing the head.

"FIRE!" Kimiko launched herself into the air and started to slash at all the Jack-Bots aimed at her, easily destroying all six of them.

"AETHER!" Valerie shouted, taking her arms up in a kickboxing pose. She punched a hole through one of the Jack-Bots and kicked another one's head off. Valerie did a back flip and landed on a Jack-Bot, twisting off its head and throwing it at another robot.

Valerie jumped off the headless robot and landed near Clay, who was standing smack-dab in the middle of the fight, doing those weird, slow kung fu poses. "Um, Clay, you can jump in at anytime," Valerie told him.

"Just taking my cleansing breath." Clay sucked in a breath and let it go. "Now I'm ready to fight."

Only it didn't happen that way. A Jack-Bot slammed into Valerie, knocking her into Clay. They both fell off the rocky cliff with a hapless Dojo, who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Clay grabbed onto a conveniently placed branch and grabbed Valerie's arm just before she plummeted past them. Dojo fell on top of Clay's hat, shaking in his scales.

"Are you guys okay?" Kimiko called from the top of the cliff.

"We're fine just get the Shen Gong Wu!" Clay called out to her as Valerie shifted her weight onto the other side of the branch. She looked up towards the edge of the cliff and noticed some rocks jutting out of the side.

"We can climb up," Valerie told Clay. She grabbed a part of the side of the cliff and pulled herself off the branch. She put her foot on another rock and slowly began to climb the wall towards the top. Clay followed her lead, and they both eventually found themselves at the top.

Grabbing some grass for leverage, Valerie pulled herself over the edge, huffing as she did. When she had both two feet on solid ground, she helped Clay up. Then they noticed the remnants of the battle and the other Dragons just standing there in the middle of the clearing.

"Uh, guys, why aren't you looking for the Shen Gong Wu?" Clay asked. They all began to talk, but voices didn't come out of their moving mouths. They mimed beating and pushing against a wall and shouting.

Clay put a hand to his ear and said loudly, "I can't hear you!"

"Ooh, their playing charades!" Dojo exclaimed happily from the top of Clay's hat.

"Odd time to play," Valerie remarked. But she shrugged and tried to guess what they were saying.

"Pencil sharpener!" Dojo called out. "Igloo! Tooth decay! Cured ham, it's so cured ham!"

Kimiko and Omi had given up trying to talk to them at that point. Only Raimundo was still at it, jumping up and down and hollering like an angry monkey.

"Ooh, Raimundo's a monkey!" Valerie called out happily, glad she got it right. Kimiko and Omi said something-Clay and Valerie still couldn't hear them-as Raimundo seethed.

Suddenly Raimundo walked up to Clay and pointed to himself. "Um…you?" Clay guessed.

"Ooh, ooh, Raimundo!" Dojo called out.

Then Raimundo turned around and pointed at his butt. "Okay, butt," Clay said hesitantly.

Raimundo stood up straight and kicked the air. "Kick…" said Clay.

And then Raimundo pointed at Clay. "Me?" questioned Clay.

"Raimundo's gonna kick Clay's butt?" Valerie deduced, snickering behind her hands. Clay tried to get all up in Raimundo's face, but was blocked by some sort of invisible wall. Valerie went up to the invisible wall and felt it out, feeling a cool, solid substance blocking her path. Clay was touching the top of the wall, saying that it felt like some sort of box.

Kimiko suddenly got out her PDA and typed a message out. It read: _Trapped by mime magic. Stop Jack, get Shen Gong Wu!_

"Why didn't she do this earlier?" Valerie asked exasperated. "It would have saved us a lot of trouble."

"A magic mime?" Dojo said in disbelief. "I knew they were obnoxious, but now they're dangerous too?"

Without a word, Clay began to run down the safe side of the cliff, a route Jack would have certainly taken. Valerie took one last look at the others before following him.

* * *

Instead of grass, the forest ground turned into a dusty brown color. Clay had Dojo in his hands, and the little dragon was acting as a tracker.

"Warmer, you're getting warmer," Dojo reassured them as they walked. And then he screeched, "MIME!"

They stopped in front of a smiley mime in black pants and a red-and-white-striped polo shirt, who was just standing there like he had been waiting for them.

"I don't want any trouble, mime," Clay warned him as he and Valerie got into position.

The mime tipped his little black bowler hat over his face and mimed Clay's actions, an obvious challenge against the cowboy. Valerie did the sensible thing and backed away from the fight.

"You keep the mime busy," Valerie told Clay. "I'll get the Shen Gong Wu."

"Take this!" Clay tossed the Eye of Dashi at Valerie, who caught it easily. "Just in case you're in a Showdown," he explained. Valerie gulped and went on ahead towards the path. The mime tried to block her, but Valerie punched his chin, and his head went upward, his eyes disoriented.

Valerie took the chance and ran away.

* * *

Valerie didn't have to try hard to find Jack Spicer. She just followed the sounds of forest demolition.

Hiding in the bushes on top of a hill, Valerie spied on a row of Jack-Bots with drills for feet and arms. They were clearing a path through the forest to find the Fist of Tebigong and to give Spicer a pathway.

Valerie did not have much of a plan. She usually looked at a situation and followed the most logical path. Knowing that Jack would be too careless to look out for Xiaolin monks, she crept down the hillside, trying to be as silent as possible.

...That is, until she accidentally stubbed her toe on the Fist of Tebigong.

"OW!" Valerie screeched, hopping on one foot and grabbing the hurt one. But she ignored the pain when she heard the sounds of Drill-Bots after her. She scooped up the Shen Gong Wu and tried to run away, as much as her injured foot would let her.

A Drill-Bot nearly decapitated Valerie, put she pushed it aside into Spicer, who ducked. Thanks to that, the two Drill-Bots protecting him were vaporized.

Spicer, having enough of this, yelled out, "Third Arm Sash!" A blue cloth shot out from Jack's waist and circled around Valerie, ensnaring her in a lasso. Jack pulled her back into his arms, and he grabbed the Fist of Tebigong.

"Too slow, Batgirl, too slow," Jack taunted as he let her go into the middle of a circle of Drill-Bots. Valerie would have thought that the robots would instantly kill her, but instead they waited for further orders from Jack.

"You know, you're actually not bad looking. I like the tomboy style," Jack admitted to Valerie. Valerie could feel bile rising in her throat. But something else ticked her off.

"Dude, do you even know my name?"

"Umm…"

"How can we say witty comebacks if you don't know my name?"

"Good point. Tell me your name," Jack ordered.

"Only if you give me the Fist of Tebigong."

"Uh, how about… no." Jack pressed a button on his watch and the Drill-Bots slowly crept towards Valerie threateningly.

"My name's Valerie! Now put your toys away!" Valerie glared at the Drill-Bots until Jack stopped them in their tracks. Normally she wouldn't have given in so easily, but Valerie didn't feel that she should lose her life or something so trivial.

"Now, was that so hard?" Jack asked in a mocking tone, putting on the Fist of Tebigong. "So, how about it: join the Heylin Side? You know, the _winning_ side?"

"As what, you're girlfriend?" Valerie snorted.

"Yeah, I like that actually," Jack said, making her shudder.

"In your dreams!" she yelled at him, glaring daggers.

"Oh, but my dear, it wouldn't be so bad." Wuya had somehow managed to slither her way up to Valerie and was now playing the devil's advocate with her.

"I'll never join the dark side!" she growled at Wuya, who never lost that sleazy smile.

"But we have cookies!" Jack called, trying to sweeten the deal.

"Hell no!"

"…What do you have against cookies?"

"I have nothing against cookies; I just don't want to go over to the Heylin side. The bad guys never win, anyway."

Jack gestured to his Drill-Bots surrounding Valerie. "It looks like I'm winning."

"Haven't you ever seen the movies? It doesn't matter how close he is to victory, the bad guy _never _wins."

"This isn't a movie, Val," Jack said, gesturing again to his robots.

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "I'm hunting magical artifacts with incomprehensible powers to stop a thousand years of darkness from happening. You're hunting those same weapons to take over the world. How does it _not_ sound like a movie?"

Jack rubbed his chin like he was thinking. "Again, good point."

"Enough talking!" Wuya roared into Valerie's ear, making her cringe and cover both ears. She leered over at Valerie, who did not like that look on Wuya's face. She didn't like the words coming out of her masked mouth either.

"Tell me, my dear, are you sure you don't want to turn evil? You could have anything you ever wanted. You could have riches, men, and more than you can possibly dream!"

Anything? For a second Valerie actually considered Wuya's offer. But then she remembered the two people who neglected her all her life, how they made empty promises to see Valerie but never did. She used to wish that she could see them, but when they never came around, Valerie gave up on them. Now it was just wishful thinking on her part.

Steeling herself, Valerie looked straight into Wuya's yellow eyes and said, "You just want to get rid of Jack, don't you?"

"Hey!"

Wuya didn't even spare Jack a glance. "Very perceptive; tell me, what Dragon are you?" she asked Valerie, her voice sickly sweet.

"Not telling."

"You're very calm in a situation like this, so you can't be fire," Wuya said, slowly listing off the elements. "You're fighting style is rather disciplined, so you can't be wind. And we can tell that Omi is the Dragon of Water."

"I say she's the Dragon of Earth," Jack said almost helpfully. "She seems pretty down to earth to me."

Valerie groaned inwardly at Jack's super-lame pun, but remained stoic. She slowly turned to Wuya, looking vaguely amused.

Wuya saw the look and asked, "What's so funny?"

"You almost got it. Just one more element left."

Wuya's yellow eyes widened and she growled out, "_You're_ the Dragon of Aether?"

"The one and only," Valerie replied pompously, giving a little mock bow.

Wuya let out a howl and glided over to Jack's side. "Destroy her quickly before the others find her!"

"Finally we can get down to business," Jack drawled out, pressing the button on his watch. Valerie struck a fighting pose, waiting for the Drill-Bots to close in on her. They were coming in pretty slowly though.

"What are you waiting for?" Wuya roared at him. "Finish her!"

"Wuya, Wuya," Jack chided, "how long have you been at this villain game?"

"I was wrecking havoc with the world was still young, when man began to crawl out of the mud!"

"And yet you still make amateur mistakes. You're supposed to gloat first, vaporize later." Jack turned to Valerie and did his evil monologue. "You've come far, Valerie, but you didn't count on the magnificently evil mind of Jack Spicer! MWA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAA!"

Valerie got out her Shen Gong Wu and shouted, "Eye of Dashi!" A bolt of lightning erupted out of the talisman, going out towards Jack. The boy shrieked and ducked as the two Drill-Bots behind him exploded.

The explosion made Jack lose the Fist of Tebigong. Valerie looked around desperately to find it, but the Drill-Bots were getting in her way.

"Valerie!" a very familiar voice called out to her. Valerie was glad to see Clay finally catch up to her with Dojo clinging to his hat.

"Find the Fist of Tebigong!" Valerie shouted back as she threw a Drill-Bot into another Drill-Bot. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Jack and Clay had spotted the Shen Gong Wu at the same time-it was lying on the ground a ways from her-and both were running for it like their lives depended on it.

Valerie knew what was going to happen next.

Jack and Clay both reached the Fist at exactly the same time, and the Wu began to glow.

"Clay, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown," Jack said to start off.

"But I don't have any Wu," Clay said, looking at Valerie hopefully.

Valerie got the hint; after she used her arm to swipe off the head of a Drill-Bot, Valerie got the Eye of Dashi out of her pocket and threw it at Clay, who caught it in his big hand.

"What's the game?" Valerie shouted from the rubble.

Jack spotted a blue song bird resting on a tree branch not two feet away from him. He gestured to it. "The first one to catch that robin wins!"

"Let's go: Xiaolin Showdown!" the two boys said in unison, and the whole area began to tremble and change to fit the match. Valerie felt her feet shift, and she nearly fell backward as she felt herself slide towards Raimundo, Kimiko, and Omi, who had somehow joined up with her and Clay at the last minute.

As Raimundo grabbed Dojo out of the air-how'd he get there? - Valerie closed her eyes as she felt the ground shoot up into the air like a pillar, the wind whistling around her body and nearly dragging her off the cliff she was standing on, the light nearly blinding her.

When Valerie opened her eyes, the playing field was a simple clearing with a little bit of trees off to the side. Flowers were at the edge of the clearing, and the other Xiaolin Dragons were standing on a cliff, looking down at the fight below.

That was when Valerie noticed that Clay was in his monk uniform. She looked at the others, who were also wearing their training clothes, with the exception of Dojo. Normally, something like this would have surprised Valerie, but she was rarely getting surprised anymore.

"Ready, cowboy?" Jack said to Clay as the shaking stopped.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Clay responded stoically.

Both leaned over to each other to face off, and once again in perfect unison, they shouted, "GONG YE TAN PAI!"

Jack was instantly in the lead, cackling as his weird backpack sprouted two winged poles to let him use the air to chase the blue robin. As Jack chased the bird into the trees, he used his Third-Arm Sash to try it catch it, only to no avail.

The bird flew out of the forest and over the Xiaolin Dragons with Jack following it as quickly as he could. When he was gone, Kimiko remarked, "Jack's on fire."

Omi looked down at the clearing. "Yes, but Clay has yet to become a flame!" He pointed to Clay, who was standing there doing his weird kung fu stretches like always.

"Clay?" Valerie called out to him. "Now is not the time to do your old man kung fu!"

The others joined in with "Clay, please join the Showdown!" and "Clay, do _something_!" and "Move, you stupid cowboy, MOVE! Or at least shoot some lightning! I just wanna see it once!"

But all he did was saunter off towards the edge of the clearing where the sunflowers were. He took off his hat and began to pick out the black seeds out of the yellow flowers, humming a little tune.

Valerie widened her eyes as a wave of nostalgia hit her like a tidal wave.

_Forests were common in Poland's countryside, and they were close to Valerie's house; so close, in fact, that sometimes Valerie saw a deer at the edge of the forest, grazing on the grass near Eric's garden._

_Sunflowers were also plentiful, at least in some parts of the country. The last tenants of the lovely country home had left behind their patch of sunflowers in the backyard. A scarecrow in old men's clothes guarded the plants from birds, not that it did much._

_Eric had taken out a clean but old baseball cap to the sunflower patch and began to pick out the little seeds. Bored, Valerie went out to help him. She had assumed that Eric was going to eat the seeds himself, so she was surprised to see him go towards the edge of the forest with the capful full of sunflower seeds._

"_What are you doing Eric?" Valerie asked a bit too loudly. Eric shushed her and held the hat out towards the edge of the forest. Valerie impatiently waited for something to happen._

_Just when she was about to ask again, a pretty little swallow bird came flying out of the trees and landed on the edge of the cap. It began to peck at the sunflower seeds as more birds came to join it._

_Eric looked over at an astonished Valerie and gave her a cheeky wink._

"He's going to win," Valerie said quietly, a grin stretching across her face. The others looked at her like she was crazy.

"How is Clay going to win?" Dojo asked incredulously from Omi's shoulder. "All he's been doing is pick sunflower seeds the whole Showdown!"

"And that's how he's going to win," Valerie said simply. "Just watch, will you?"

Jack, who had been chasing the robin energetically, almost had it in the Third-Arm Sash's grasp, only to have it squirm out at the last second. Jack would have gone after it, but then he slammed himself into a tree.

Meanwhile, the bird had spotted the tasty treats in Clay's hat, and it fluttered over to it. "Hey, there, little fella. Enjoy the grub," Clay said gently as the bird landed on his hand. A flash of light, and the Showdown was over, with Clay holding three Shen Gong Wu in his hand.

"You did it!" Kimiko congratulated him as she and the others ran towards him.

"That was awesome!" cried Raimundo.

"Aw, thanks y'all," Clay admonished, putting on his hat, the bird flying away long ago.

"Clay has me tripping on very cold stones!" Omi said, crossing his arms. Valerie cringed at his horrible mangling of modern language.

"No, no, no," Raimundo groaned, "Clay's got you stone cold trip-ah, forget it." As Kimiko and Omi went over to congratulate Clay more, steam came out of Raimundo's ears in annoyance.

When he calmed down, Raimundo turned to Valerie. "How did you know he would win?"

Valerie gave him a soft smile. "Because it was something Eric would have done."

* * *

_I've actually been to Poland's countryside-I've got family over there-so I know for a fact that some people grow their own sunflowers in their back yard. I used to have an aunt who did that._

_Yeah, I'm having Valerie talk about Eric in about every chapter. Just to show you how close they are._

_Like I said, I'm going to follow the episodes, but I'll try to change them as much as I can. You can tell with this chapter that I added quite a bit. Not much change, but I'm working on it, so please don't judge too quickly._


	4. Sexism and Wooden Sandals

Chapter 4: Sexism and Wooden Sandals

_Once again, I am going very close to canon. I'm glad to see people are still sticking around even though I'm copying the episodes. On the plus side, I've added a few scenes to help deviate from the canon. Hope you like them._

_Time to answer reviews!_

_To **bbst: **Ooh, Valerie and Omi rivalry! That sounds really interesting. Unfortunately I won't be able to add that in until later in the story because I've got some future chapters already written out. I'll keep that in mind though._

_On with the show!_

* * *

_"Hey, Eric, do you think my parents will come here for Christmas?" six-year-old Valerie asked her guardian._

_"No, they're busy with work," Eric said carefully. He knew where this was headed._

_She jutted her lip out. "But they're _always_ busy. Shouldn't they take time off for Christmas?" she asked with childlike curiosity._

_"Even if they did visit, they'd be on the phone all the time. Their job is very time consuming," Eric said thoughtlessly. He cringed as tears welled up in Valerie's eyes._

_"I hate them!" she shouted between sobs. "I hate them, I hate them, I HATE THEM!"_

_Eric put his arms around her shaking form and held her close. "No, you don't. You're just angry at them right now. When your older, you'll understand."_

_"No I won't!" Valerie insisted. She began to beat her little fists against Eric's chest. "If they really loved me, they would actually mean it when they say it. I'll never understand adults who lie like that. I don't want to!"_

_"Val, your parents love you a lot," Eric said sternly as the little girl's sobs became quieter. "They have to train your brothers to handle the family business in case something happens to them. When they're done they'll come get you and they'll prove just how much they love you. I promise."_

_It was Eric's most painful lie._

* * *

"You know this is a showdown, right, Kimiko?" Jack taunted his adversary as he walked up the cliff with his Shen Gong Wu on his feet.

Kimiko, who was climbing the cliff with her bare hands, grunted, "You know those boots make you look like a dweeb, right Jack?"

"So not the case," Jack retorted. "These Shen Gong Wu, the Jet Bootsu, allow me to defy gravity. You might as well say buh-bye to the Monkey Staff, 'cause that one's as good as mine too." Jack smirked as he spied the Monkey Staff from the top of the pillar, a tan stick with a sculpture of an angry monkey with red eyes on the top.

"You wish!" Kimiko snarled, holding up her gloved hand. "Fist of Tebigong!" Without a thought to the consequences, Kimiko smashed her fist into the pillar. The pillar shook, and clumps of rock fell out of the stone.

Jack was not impressed. "Like that's going to work. I'm defying gravity, remember?" Kimiko remembered it too late. Jack shook his head. "Classic miscalculation; your hot little head has ensured your defeat."

Kimiko screamed as the pillar shook her off, and she plummeted to the ground. Only a convenient branch jutting out of the pillar caught her by her dress, and Kimiko was stuck there until Jack got the Monkey Staff.

* * *

"This water's freezing!" Dojo complained. "I don't know how my cousin Nessie stands living here."

The monks were in Scotland this time, and Dojo had magically transformed himself into a boat so they could travel across the water. The temperature on the lake was cold, making Valerie glad she wore a plain blue pullover hoodie over a few layers. Nevertheless, Valerie stamped her feet, since her jeans did nothing to protect her legs from the bitter wind.

"Why does your cousin live here?" Valerie asked politely.

"I think she likes the attention," Dojo said fondly. "'Hey look it's the Loch Ness Monster.'"

From a ways away, a Scottish sailor announced, "Hey look it's the Loch Ness Monster."

Dojo turned to the kids. "See?"

Kimiko didn't see, because she was still peeved over losing the Fist and the Staff to Jack Spicer. Omi noticed and thought she needed some cheering up. He put a hand on her shoulder and said, "Oh, Kimiko, do not feel sad."

"I don't!" Kimiko snapped at him. "And I don't need your pity either." She pulled the hood of her ornate orange and white dress over her head.

Omi smiled. "I was merely going to point out that you could not be expected to do better because you are a girl."

"WHAT?!" Valerie and Kimiko shouted at the exact same time. Both girls seethed as Omi looked at them, puzzled.

"Ever since you two came, I have been studying all about girls from this eleventh century book." Omi whipped out a small, thick book from his sleeves, titled the _Ancient Guide to Females._

"You do know that eleventh century teachings don't apply in the twenty-first century, right?" Valerie pointed out, a little more calm since she now knew the reason behind Omi's bigotry.

"Nonsense!" Omi declared, opening the book to a random page. "It tells us that you're talents lie elsewhere, in the kitchen, for example."

Clay decided to interrupt. "Don't be so hard on Kimiko," he told Omi. "She was just trying to do her level-best, which is pretty good, considering."

Kimiko glared fiery daggers at him. "Considering _what_?"

"Considering you're such a hothead."

"That I can sort of agree with," Valerie admitted.

"I believe her failure was due to her lack of upper body strength," Omi interjected, making Kimiko red in the face with anger.

"I'LL SHOW YOU UPPER BODY STRENGTH!"

"Look out," Raimundo taunted, "she might use her slip and fall move on you!"

Before Kimiko could bite his head off, Dojo began to shake, making everyone jump up in down in the boat. "Shen Gong Wu alert!" Dojo announced.

Now serious, Raimundo asked Kimiko, "What do we have?" Kimiko opened the Ancient Scroll to reveal the Tangled Web Comb. The moving picture showed a man holding a comb, which shot out vines from the teeth to trap the opponent in a rope-like binding.

"That's hairy," Raimundo remarked.

"Well, let's quit dilly-dallying and go get it!" Clay said.

"You don't gotta go anywhere," Dojo announced. "It's here, baby."

"Here?" Valerie repeated, looking down at the water. Her eyes widened in realization, and she quickly put her long hair in a ponytail.

"This one's mine," Valerie announced, hanging a leg over the edge.

"Val's right, she should be the one to get it," Raimundo agreed. "Better her than Kimiko."

"Excuse me?" Kimiko snapped at him. Valerie rolled her eyes as she jumped into the water, tucking herself into a little ball so the impact wouldn't hurt her.

Valerie's eyes snapped open as she realized how frigid the water was. Goosebumps replaced her skin as the cold seeped into her bones. The water was dark and murky, with very little light filtering in. Valerie could barely make out seaweed and some trash littering the floor, along with something shiny.

It was a comb, a brown thing with golden teeth nestled in some seaweed on a rock on the ocean floor. Knowing she had a limited amount of air, Valerie swam over to the comb, thankful for the swimming lessons Eric signed her up for when she was little.

Getting the Tangled Web Comb out of the seaweed proved to be no challenge at all, which was good considering that Valerie needed air fast. Valerie twisted around so her feet touched the rock and, using her legs, she pushed herself up. Despite the need for air and the extreme cold of the water, Valerie calmly swam to the boat, her strong strokes quickly getting her to the surface.

Breaking out of the water, Valerie took a huge gulp of air as she swam towards the boat. "Where's the Comb?" Dojo asked her.

Valerie got the Comb out of her hoodie pocket and lifted it in the air, shivering as the air made contact with the skin on her hand. "C-could you guys h-help me up?" Valerie pleaded, her teeth chattering. "The water's f-freezing."

* * *

Back at the temple, Valerie (now dry and warm) held up her trophy for the others to see.

Raimundo studied it. "It's…a comb. Cute."

"I think it's great you found yourself a comb, Valerie," Clay said happily.

"Oh, yes," Omi agreed. "Accessorizing is within your talents, as a female."

Valerie rolled her eyes. "That's more Kimiko's forte. I like to think of myself as a tomboy."

"That explains the baseball hats," Kimiko said, standing a little apart from the group.

Valerie shrugged and walked over to the dummy posed a little ways away. "Time to test this out; Tangled Web Comb!" Valerie shouted as tan vines erupted from the comb. The vines snapped around the dummy, binding themselves to the body in a grotesque image of a hairy mummy.

"Nice going, girl!" Raimundo congratulated her. Clay clapped her on the back, nearly knocking her over.

"That's some good rope skills you got there," he said.

"Not bad for a girl," Omi allowed. Valerie rolled her eyes and looked at Kimiko.

"You're turn," she said, giving the Comb out. Kimiko raised a suspicious eyebrow before taking it.

"Prepare to be impressed!" Kimiko declared as she spied another dummy. With a sassy pose, she shouted, "Tangled Web Comb!" Like with Valerie, hairy brown vines erupted from the Comb and aimed towards the dummy.

_You can do it, _Valerie thought to herself as she waited in anticipation.

The vines circled around the dummy, but instead of ensnaring it, the vines circled back towards Kimiko. She tried to run away, but the vines got her, binding her in its hairy grasp. She fell to the ground in a heap. Master Fung was already walking towards her with concern written all over his face.

"Why can't she use it right?" Clay asked the others.

Instead of answering, Raimundo said, "You guys wanna look through Kimiko's stuff?"

"Ooh, I have never looked through a girl's things before!" Omi said cheerfully.

"Oh, no you don't," Valerie said, stopping them in their path with her hands on her hips. "That's a serious invasion of privacy and you know it."

"Aw, come on," Raimundo pleaded, giving her the big puppy eyes. "Give us a break. How can we know more about Kimiko unless we have a look at her room?"

"You can try asking her."

The guys looked at each other and said in unison: "Nah."

* * *

"Guys, stop," Valerie said half-heartedly. She would have yelled at them, but she was too tired from yelling at Omi, who had naively tried to look through Kimiko's underwear drawer just a few minutes ago.

Knowing that there was a female among them, the boys took their teasing down a few levels. Clay was searching through Kimiko's fashion magazines, criticizing the wacky styles from Japan. Raimundo was messing with her PDA, and Omi was searching through Kim's makeup bag.

"Don't play with that, its makeup!" Valerie snatched the lipstick out of Omi's hands.

"Makeup?" Omi asked innocently.

"Yeah, it's the stuff girls wear to make themselves look pretty," Clay said, putting away the fashion magazines.

"Oh!" Omi exclaimed, his eyes wide. "Then why does Valerie not where this makeup?"

"I've heard what makeup can do to the body."

"Like what?" All the boys stopped what they were doing and looked at Valerie.

Valerie thought for a moment. "Well, it can clog up your pores causing acne, and you can have an allergic reaction to some of the ingredients in makeup, like a rash. Face powder can dry up your skin, too. And in the worst possible case, it can cause cancer."

The boys' eyes bugged out, and their jaws hit the floor. "Girls are surprisingly resilient to put that makeup stuff on their faces," Omi said, astonished. The boys nodded in agreement.

Valerie smirked. "Yeah, don't take girls lightly. We go through a lot to make ourselves pretty."

Omi held up a tube of lipstick, his hand trembling. "So if I put this makeup on my face, I will get cancer?" He seemed terrified, and with good reason.

"Well, not right away," Valerie said, taking the tube and putting it away in Kimiko's vanity bag. "Not all makeup does that, though. You just have to find the right kind."

"Speaking of makeup, check this out," Raimundo said, opening a giant pink trunk.

"Should you really be opening that?" Valerie said, peering over his shoulder.

A variety of wigs were in the large trunk, all in different colors and styles. Omi snatched up a green wig with its fake hair in spikes. "I have never seen such a thing before," he admitted.

"It's called a wig," Clay said, taking it out of Omi's hands. "It's fake hair."

"But why does Kimiko have so many?"

"I think she's trying to copy the styles in Japan." Clay pointed to the pile of fashion magazines he had been browsing earlier. Valerie took one and flipped through the pages. She couldn't read the language, but the pictures showed models in odd clothing like the kind Kimiko wore, and brightly colored hair like characters from anime.

"This explains her clothing choices," Valerie said.

"Like your one to talk," Raimundo snorted. Valerie threw the magazine at his face.

* * *

Valerie finally convinced the guys to leave Kimiko's stuff alone, though Raimundo insisted on taking her PDA. "Why not?" he reasoned. "I just want to play a few games on it."

Valerie was too tired to care about that anymore.

They walked through the halls to the open air plaza, which was a peaceful meditation place with a full view of the garden. They saw Kimiko there, pouring tea from a ridiculously large teapot into ridiculously small teacups.

"Oops, I think I deleted something," Raimundo said loudly, like he was trying to get on Kimiko's nerves.

"Hey, that's my PDA!" Kimiko cried, nearly dropping the large teapot.

"Keep pouring," Master Fung reminded her, meditating in the middle of the plaza.

"Hey, Kimiko's serving tea!" Raimundo said, running up to the little Chinese table.

"Ah, the traditional female role!" Omi said, joining him. Valerie inwardly seethed at Omi's sexism as she and Clay strolled to the table.

"Tea would sure hit the spot right about now," Clay said as Kimiko poured him some.

"Could you make cookies?" Raimundo asked her. "You can't have tea without cookies."

"Master Fung!" Kimiko pleaded with the older monk.

"Keep pouring," he told her. "Drown out all distractions. Calm the storm in your mind. Only then will you achieve absolute focus."

Kimiko looked at the others. Clay was reading one of Valerie's books, Raimundo was stacking up teacups to make a tower, Valerie was listening to her iPod, and Omi was smiling at her, waiting for his cup of tea.

As Kimiko tried to pour some into a cup, she wobbled a little, nearly spilling the tea. She somehow managed not to spill a drop. "The next one will be perfect," she vowed, moving on to the next cup.

Omi studied Kimiko and said, "I am surprised Kimiko can lift such a heavy pot with her delicate, female arms."

"What?" Kimiko snapped, shoving the spout of the teapot into the last cup. The cup overflowed with brown water, spilling all over the edge of the table. Panicking, Kimiko threw the pot in the air, and everyone watched as the pot flew over the table and hit the floor with a large crash.

"Nice going, Omi," Valerie said, face palming.

"What did I do?"

"You made her lose her concentration."

Master Fung walked away, disappointed, which seemed a lot worse than him yelling.

Raimundo was not helping. "Who wants to bet chores on when Kimiko gets her focus; this century or next?"

* * *

Later, Valerie found Kimiko in her room, sulking as she tried to retrieve all the lost data on her PDA. Valerie knocked on the rice paper wall, alerting her presence. "May I come in?"

"No."

Valerie walked in anyway. "Tell me what's wrong."

"You know what's wrong!" Kimiko snapped. "The guys think that just because I'm a girl, I'm too weak to do anything!"

Valerie sat down besides Kimiko. "No, only Omi thinks that. The others are making fun of your short temper."

"I guess," Kimiko allowed. "But it sucks how I'm the only one who's getting made fun of here!" She glared at Valerie. "Why aren't you angry at them?"

"Because I didn't lose my temper and lose to Jack," Valerie explained. "That's why Clay and Raimundo are making fun of you. And I _am_ angry at Omi for his sexism, but seeing as all his knowledge about girls comes from an eleventh century book, I can kind of understand why he's like that."

Kimiko allowed a little smile to take over her features. "He is pretty naïve."

"Yeah, the guy didn't know about makeup until I explained it to him."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But we still can't excuse his ignorance. That's just wrong."

"Agreed." Kimiko looked at Valerie. "How can you stay so calm? I mean, when we found the Tangled Web Comb, you were pissed about at him for saying girls belonged in the kitchen, and now…"

"Because he's not making fun of me."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the Dragons were on Dojo's back again, searching for the next Shen Gong Wu, the Golden Tiger Claws.

They landed nearby an Oriental palace that looked like it belonged in Japan's feudal era. It looked pretty against the backdrop of cherry blossoms.

"The Golden Tiger Claws are inside that palace?" Omi asked Dojo, pointing to it.

"That's what this rash is telling me," the reptile said, scratching at his tail. "I wonder if there's an ointment for this."

Raimundo noticed the huge bodyguard standing at the front door. "How do we get in there?" he asked.

"We could knock on the door and ask real nice-like," Clay suggested.

"That's the emperor's palace," Dojo explained. "They don't just let anybody in there. We need connections."

"Oh, no worries," Kimiko said, getting out her cell phone. "I'll just call my dad." She speed dialed the number and said, "_Mushi mushi_, papa. I need a few invites to the emperor's palace." She listened for a bit, then: "No way! Not going to happen! Not in this lifetime!" She listened some more, then: "Really? Do I have to? All right, all right." Finally, she ended the call.

"Well?" Valerie inquired.

Kimiko sighed. "We're in, but there's a catch."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Valerie was dressed in a blue kimono with a silver butterfly pattern and a red obi tied at her waist. She was wearing uncomfortable wooden sandals, and her brown hair was in a side braid with a blue flower behind her ear. How Kimiko's dad knew Valerie's measurements was beyond her.

"Lookin' good, girl," Raimundo said, wolf whistling. He was wearing red robes with dark shoulder blades with poufy red pants, courtesy of Kimiko.

"Well ain't that a sight for sore eyes," Clay said, tipping his cowboy hat. It clashed with his blue robes and tan tunic, but it seemed to suit him.

"I don't look nearly as good as Kimiko," Valerie said honestly. Kimiko was wearing a pink kimono with yellow accents and a yellow obi tied around her waist, with her long black hair in a bun with three silver chopsticks stuck in it and the Tangled Web Comb holding it together. She was holding a pink fan in her hands, and she looked ready to kill someone.

"I think both Kimiko and Valerie look most appropriate," Omi declared. "They both finally look like girls."

"Where are your formal duds, Omi?" Clay asked the million dollar question.

"These are my formal robes, Clay," Omi said proudly, gesturing to his red robe and black pants. "The thread count is slightly higher. Notice the exquisite sheen." He held out an arm, which was shining in the moonlight.

"That's fine, let's just get these Tiger Claws and bail," Kimiko said, beginning to climb up the stairs. She was having difficulty in those wooden sandals, since she was moving to and fro like she was about to topple over.

"Are you planning on walking three steps behind us?" Raimundo teased.

"No, I'm planning on leaving you in my dust!"

Valerie sighed and began her own long trek up the stairs. She wobbled on the wooden sandals and had to put her hands out to steady herself. "How am I supposed to walk in these?" Valerie complained as she went up another step.

"Do you require assistance?" Omi called out. "Girls are known for their clumsiness."

Valerie was normally a calm person, but now even she was starting to get pissed off. "No, I don't need help, especially from you Omi!" she snarled, making the younger boy cower in fear.

"Harsh," Kimiko remarked from the middle from the stairs.

"He had it coming."

The boys finally decided to climb up the stairs, joining the girls. "This is so easy! How are you guys not able to walk in wooden sandals?" Raimundo taunted from next to Valerie.

"We're wearing heels," Valerie snapped. "Remind me to make you wear them after we get the Tiger Claws."

"Oh, I'm so scared!" Raimundo said before he left her to make fun of Kimiko. Valerie was almost at the top when someone grabbed her arm.

"I know that you will not accept your girlish clumsiness, so I am benevolently helping you," Omi said, cheekily grinning at Valerie.

Valerie shook him off. "I don't need help!" To prove it, she made it up the last step. She whirled around to stick it in Omi's face only to see Kimiko still on the stairs, struggling to make it up. Even Clay and Raimundo were at the top, even though they were the last ones to climb the stairs.

When Kimiko finally reached the top, Raimundo said, "About time, girl. And here we thought we would have to wait for the next ice age to get the Golden Tiger Claws."

"Shove it!" Kimiko growled, pushing past Raimundo to get to the guard. The guard opened the door for her, and they were in.

* * *

The emperor's palace was dark and shrouded in mystery, and the ancient artifacts gave the place a rich ambience.

"Any sign of the Claws?" Kimiko asked.

Omi looked into the jaw of giant Chinese stone lion and said, "These are lion claws; very similar."

"But no dice," remarked Raimundo.

"Ooh, dice! Are we looking for dice too?"

Raimundo groaned and continued searching for the Tiger Claws. Clay looked at a stone representation of a samurai while Kimiko searched the floor.

"I know it's down here somewhere," Dojo said, sniffing the floor. "It's down here, but more down."

"Maybe it's underground," Valerie wondered out loud. Kimiko walked over the floor, some of her footsteps sounding hollow. She looked underneath her feet and found a trapdoor.

"Val was right," Kimiko said, pointing to the trapdoor. Clay walked over to it and lifted the handle, opening the door. There was a thin staircase leading into the basement, and a human like moan escaped from the blackness.

"A staircase into the darkness," Omi announced. "How very-"

"Creepy?" Clay asked fearfully.

"Yes!"

"Come on, let's go!" Valerie said cheerfully, walking down the staircase into the darkness.

"Aren't you scared?" Clay asked, mystified.

"Why would I be?"

"But girls are supposed to be easily frightened!" Omi said, looking through his book.

"You're lucky you're cute, Omi," Kimiko grumbled as she followed Valerie down the staircase.

The staircase led down into earthy catacombs, full of dangerous stalactites hanging from the ceiling and stalagmites jutting out of the ground. There was a dirt path through the stalagmites, making it easier for the Xiaolin Dragons to walk through the dark chamber.

"Does anyone have a light?" Kimiko asked, since it was really dark down there. Another human-like moan echoed through the tombs, making everyone jump a little. "What's that moaning?" Kimiko asked fearfully.

Everyone looked for the source of the sound, and in the darkness was a shadow, which was leaning forward like it was sick. It was Jack Spicer, with a brown tail, furry hands and feet, and a monkey like face.

"It's Jack Spicer, and he's heading towards the Tiger Claws!" Valerie cried, looking to the left, where a pedestal with a furry glove with four long, golden claws jutting out of it was.

Jack finally saw the Xiaolin monks and grumbled, "I so don't need this right now. Jack-Bots, take them out now!"

Two Jack-Bots appeared, only this time with cannons bursting from their chests instead of the usual sharp shoulder blades. But before they could attack, Jack said, "Get me some ginger ale!"

One of the Jack-Bots complied, getting a glass of the soda from its head. Jack took it and guzzled it down like his life depended on it. He burped and said, "Thanks! You can crush them now."

The two robots flew towards the monks, but then Omi's head glowed six dots on his forehead, like the six on a cube of dice. "WATER!" he shouted as he kicked a robot towards Clay.

The robot began to shoot blue lasers from his cannon. "EARTH!" Clay shouted, and he swatted the robot over the edge and down towards the bottom of the catacombs. "Thanks for dropping by," Clay deadpanned. "Or, uh, just dropping."

The second Jack-Bot was aiming its cannon at Raimundo. "WIND!" he shouted, and he jumped high into the air and landed behind the bronze robot.

He knocked it forward towards Valerie, who cried out, "AETHER!" and kicked it against a stalagmite, making it explode.

Valerie looked for Kimiko, who was running towards the Tiger Claws. Unfortunately, Jack saw her, and with a monkey cry, he leaped towards the Wu.

Both touched the Claws at the same time, making it glow. "Sweet," Jack said. "Kimiko, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown."

"Name your game, Jack," Kimiko snarled.

"A race across the bridges. Whoever reaches the end wins."

"XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!" both shouted in unison, and the Golden Tiger Claws glowed brightly. Smoke erupted from the ground, blinding Valerie as the ground below turned to lava, and the stalagmites rose up towards the ceiling, making the Showdown exponentially more dangerous.

Valerie wiped her eyes and noticed that she was still wearing the blue kimono. Wait, was Kimiko supposed to fight in wooden sandals? She was never going to win in them!

"GONG YE TAN PAI!" Kimiko and Jack shouted, beginning the Showdown. Jack immediately went on all fours and moved like a monkey towards the Claws, while Kimiko threw off her sandals. Smart girl.

"Get in the game, girl!" Dojo cried out to her.

"Anyone want to double our little wager?" Raimundo said. "Make it four weeks of chores?"

Fed up with his stupid attitude, Valerie punched Raimundo in the stomach. He bent over in pain, and tears welled up in his eyes. "What was that for?" he croaked.

"You idiots are the reason why Kimiko can't concentrate on winning!" Valerie yelled, fire escaping her mouth. "If you just shut up for a minute, maybe she could get the Golden Tiger Claws!"

"You mean like that?" Clay pointed to Kimiko, who had tried to use the Tangled Web Comb on Jack, only to have it rebound on her. Now she was on the floor in a literal bind, her black hair out of its bun and around her head like a dark halo.

"Kimiko, calm the fuck down and WIN, GODDAMMIT!" Valerie screamed, totally frustrated at everyone right now.

"Never thought you'd have a temper like that," Clay said as he, Omi, and Raimundo backed away from Valerie.

Valerie tried to calm herself down. "Peace, calm, tranquility…peace, calm, tranquility…"

"Uh…"

Valerie turned to Raimundo. "It's a mantra Eric taught me."

"Who's Eric?"

"Oh, look, Kimiko's winning the Showdown." Valerie pointed to Kimiko, who had somehow untied herself and used the Tangled Web Comb to take the Monkey Staff from Jack, turning him back to a normal human.

"She had achieved absolute focus!" Omi cheered.

"Too bad I'm only one step away from getting the Golden Tiger Claws," Jack sneered as he reached for the Wu. But then the ground began to quake and the Claws fell from their pedestal. Jack began to scream, "NOOO!" and fell forward after it, in hopes of catching it before he fell into the lava.

Kimiko, high on her victory, began to leap, jump, and do cartwheels with the power of the Monkey Staff. Using the Tangled Web Comb, she fell from the path and used it to dangle herself towards the Claws, grabbing them just out of Jack's reach.

"Huh," Clay said, glancing at Raimundo. "You were right, Rai. She would win."

"Huh?" Valerie asked, question marks blipping around her head.

"The bet was that whoever thought Kimiko would lose would have to do chores for four weeks," Raimundo explained. "I thought she would win, so Omi and Clay now have to do my chores."

Valerie's jaw dropped. "So I punched you for nothing?"

"Not exactly," Rai admitted. "You were half right when you said we were messing up her concentration."

"You just forget to mention her temper," Clay added, tipping his hat.

Just then, Kimiko swooped towards them with the Tangled Web Comb, landing on delicate feet. "How you like me now?" she said, throwing the Claws at Valerie.

"Nice job," Raimundo said, giving Kimiko a fist bump.

"You whipped Jack butt good," Clay said, a goofy smile on his face.

"You had me worried for a second, but I'm glad you pulled through," Valerie admitted, giving a sheepish smile.

"Kimiko, you have taught me much about the strength of women," Omi announced. "I know completely understand the modern female."

"No, but you're a step in the right direction," Kimiko allowed, patting the little monk's head. "Which is good; I'm hoping to get a little more respect around here."

"You got it, monkey butt!" Raimundo said, laughing. Clay joined in, and so did Valerie once she saw the brown tail sprouting from Kimiko's behind.

"Girls have tails?!" Omi cried.

* * *

_Cookies to anyone who got the Teen Titans reference._

_Also, how do you like the flashback at the beginning of the chapter? I thought digging a little bit into Valerie's past would help you get to know her better. Review and tell me what you think._


	5. Cat Ladies and Revenge

Chapter 5: Cat Ladies and Revenge

_Ooh, look, a shiny new chapter! Someone get the Master Ball!_

_Sorry I was gone so long guys. I was actually cramming for exams. I'm taking them this week, so me writing a new chapter this week is pretty nil. Also, I'm going to be a part of a student film, and I'm visiting colleges this summer, so updates probably won't be very quick. But thanks for sticking with me all this time. It really means a lot to me._

* * *

_"Eric, what's the difference between boys and girls?" Valerie asked her guardian._

_Eric cringed. "Well, uh, boys like sports-"_

_Valerie pursed her lips. "I like sports too."_

_"Boys like wearing pants."_

_"I like wearing pants too."_

_"Boys think they're tougher than girls."_

_Valerie glared at Eric. "They are not!"_

_He gave a chuckle. "I know they're not, but at your age they think so."_

_"I don't like it," she said. "Elija said I couldn't play football with him and the other boys because I was a girl."_

_"Oh? And what did you do?"_

_"I kicked him in the between the legs, just like you showed me."_

* * *

"Please hurry, Kimiko!" Omi begged her. "I cannot wait to see the Tiger Claws in action."

"Cool your jets, Omi," Kimiko chided him.

It was the day after the Emperor's Palace Showdown, and everyone was in the courtyard of the Xiaolin Temple, awaiting their turn to use the Golden Tiger Claws.

"Let me get this straight," Raimundo said aloud. "The Tiger Claws can transport you anywhere in the world." It was like he couldn't believe it.

"That's the story," Clay said as Kimiko got into position.

"Golden Tiger Claws!" she yelled. She slashed the air above her, and a rip in the fabric of reality was created, revealing a swirling, gray vacuum. Kimiko fearlessly jumped up into the rip, to the astonishment of the other Dragons. The rip in reality quickly faded after her.

"Where do you think she went?" Valerie asked. A second later, a human-like echo could be heard from the mountains around the temple.

"That answer your question?" Clay inquired.

Another second later, another rip in reality appeared, and Kimiko dropped back onto the ground. Omi was instantly on her.

"What was it like? Where did you go? Did you bring me a present?"

"In order: tight, the mountain top, a little breezy, and sorry, no." Kimiko didn't look sorry. She walked over to the others. "You're up, Val."

Valerie took the Claws from Kimiko and put them on, the cool metal of the guards covered in orange fur. "Got any advice before I go?" Valerie asked Kimiko.

"Just decide where you wanna go, and the Claws take you there. And keep your hands and feet inside the tunnel at all times."

"Golden Tiger Claws!" Valerie cried before slashing the air next to her. She jumped into the gray, swirling vortex before the reality rip closed.

Kimiko was right; it _was_ tight in the gray, swirly tunnel. Valerie spun in circles, the air lukewarm and making her sick. But before she could throw up her lunch, the vortex opened up, and Valerie fell into Eric's living room.

It was just how she left it: a tan couch with a clear, round coffee table in front of it, three fancy armchairs in front of the fireplace, and an Oriental rug hanging on the wall. Valerie didn't see Eric in there, so she hurried into the cozy kitchen, where she found him making himself lunch.

The kitchen was small, with a brown, round table fit for three people, an old gas stove, a white refrigerator, a sink, and wooden cabinets on the wall with a phone attached to the wall. The stove was on with a big metal pot on it, and the smell of garden herbs permeated the air. Eric was standing over a counter with vegetables surrounding him, a knife in his hands as he grabbed some scallions.

"Eric?" Valerie called out tentatively. Startled, Eric whirled around, knife in his hands as if preparing to defend himself. He calmed down when he saw it was just Valerie.

"Val! You're wearing a dress?"

Valerie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, the apocalypse is coming, I know." She suddenly grinned and opened her arms. "I missed you."

Putting down the knife, Eric went over to her and hugged her, nearly lifting her in the air. "Don't be so excited!" Valerie laughed. "I'm only here for a minute."

Setting her down, Eric asked, "What do you mean?"

Valerie pointed to the Tiger Claws. "This is the Shen Gong Wu Master Fung was talking about. It allows the wielder to travel anywhere in the world."

Eric gave a low whistle. "Now that's something. I guess that means to Xiaolin Temple isn't a crime ring after all."

"No it isn't. How've you been?"

"I'm dating again."

Valerie lifted one eyebrow. "Really? You haven't done that in a while. Who's the lucky lady?"

Eric grinned suddenly, his dark eyes sparkly. "A wonderful lady I met in Geneva. She's a black belt in karate."

"Figured you'd go for someone like that. What's her name?"

"Victoria."

"Don't let her break your heart. I have to go now, okay?" Valerie pulled Eric into another hug before she ripped another hole in the fabric of reality. Eric waved goodbye as the rip closed.

Back at the Xiaolin Temple, Valerie had to stop Omi from jumping her to get to the Claws. "Your turn Clay," she said just to be spiteful.

But before he went, Clay asked, "So where'd you go?"

"Switzerland."

"What was it like?" Omi asked.

A soft smile came over Valerie's lips. "Homey."

Satisfied with that answer, Clay yelled, "Golden Tiger Claws!" and jumped into the reality rip he created.

"Where do you think he is going?" Omi asked excitedly.

"Probably someplace with an all-you-can-eat buffet," Raimundo said, since they had all seen how Clay could eat.

A moment later, Clay reappeared, holding a plate with a steak the shape of Texas. "No place like Billy-Bob's Texas-style All-You-Can-Eat Buffet," he said happily.

As Clay sat down to enjoy his meal, Omi ran up to him, saying, "My turn, my turn!" Only Raimundo wouldn't have that. Grabbing the Claws out of Clay's hands, Raimundo yelled, "Golden Tiger Claws!" and disappeared.

"Hey, not fair!" Omi cried as Raimundo reappeared behind him.

"You want these?" he taunted as Omi tried to reach for them. Knowing he was too short to get them, Omi bent down and swiped his leg at Raimundo's feet, only to have him vanish again.

"Come and get them." Now Raimundo was next to Omi. Omi tried to punch him, only to have Raimundo appear behind him.

"To the left of Omi!" Raimundo taunted before Clay grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him out of the reality rip.

"Now hold your horses, partner," he chided.

Kimiko grabbed the Claws from Raimundo. "It's _Omi's_ turn."

"Let the little guy have his fun," Valerie said as Omi put them on. As Clay let Raimundo go, Omi began to correct Valerie.

"While I appreciate your help, I must point out that I am not little. I simply have a small build."

"My mistake," Valerie said good-naturedly.

"At last, I have the Golden Tiger Claws to wield. Golden Tiger Claw-"

"Drop everything!" yelled out Dojo, who was slithering over carrying the Ancient Scroll with Master Fung in tow.

"A new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself," Fung explained.

"Talk about rotted timing," Omi grumbled.

"_Rotten_ timing," Kimiko corrected him.

"That too."

Master Fung opened the Ancient Scroll to reveal the Changing Chopsticks. "What's up with the glowing legs?" Raimundo asked dumbly.

"They're chopsticks," Kimiko said, annoyed.

"The Changing Chopsticks are a wondrous Shen Gong Wu," Master Fung explained. "They allow the user to shrink down to the size of a grain of rice."

"Ooh, real scary," Raimundo said sarcastically.

"Hey, the bigger they are, the harder they fall." Dojo wagged a finger in the boy's face. "So, the smaller they are, uhh…"

"The lighter they fall?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Maybe, if I am lucky, I will be able to use the Golden Tiger Claws in a Xiaolin Showdown!" Omi said excitedly. "Let us remove the lead!"

"Get the lead out," Kimiko corrected him.

"That too!"

* * *

Dojo led them to Easter Island, where all those giant stones with carved faces in them were scattered all over the place. The Dragons hid behind one of those stones as they spied on a cat girl walking around, looking for the Shen Gong Wu.

Seriously; there was a blond girl wearing a skin tight black suit with a tail, ears, and claws of a cat. And everyone criticized Valerie for always wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball hat. What was wrong with wearing a white band shirt with the Beatles on it, anyway?

"Who is that?" Omi asked the others.

"And what's with the tacky costume?" Kimiko asked while wearing a purple wig with four buns attached, paired with a black camisole with a smiley face on the front, a purple skirt, yellow stockings, and black tennis shoes.

"Hey," the cat girl called out to Jack and Wuya, pointing to a carved stone face. "Are these your sticks?" Inserted in the nostrils of the face were the Changing Chopsticks.

"Well done, Katnappe," Wuya congratulated the girl. "It's nice to know _someone_ around here's useful." Jack gave a little whimper at that.

Valerie knew what was going to happen next: Katnappe would grab the Changing Chopsticks and they'd have to fight over it that way. That seemed awfully tedious to her. And quite frankly, Valerie was itching to have her own Showdown. Just about everyone had had one already; it was high time she brawled for a Shen Gong Wu.

So just as Katnappe reached over to get the Chopsticks out, Valerie ran outside the circle of statues and sneakily slapped her hand on the Chopsticks just as Katnappe touched them. She quickly got the Golden Tiger Claws out of her back pocket. She had promised Omi that if he let her use it in a Showdown, he'd have full reign over it for an entire day. A small price to pay for her first Showdown.

"Valerie!" Wuya hissed.

"'Sup, Wuya," she greeted her casually. "I got nothing personal against Cat Girl, but I can't let you have the Changing Chopsticks." Valerie turned to Katnappe. "I challenge you, Katnappe, to a Xiaolin Showdown!"

"Okay," the blonde said slowly.

"Ha!" Jack scoffed, appearing next to her. "She can't do a Showdown; she's Shen Gong Wu-less…if that's a word."

"Which is why you will give her yours," Wuya ordered him in her creepy voice.

"Say what?!"

"Hand over the Fist of Tebigong."

"Only because I think this'll teach you a lesson," Jack finally conceded. He pressed a button on his cyber-punk watch and a box connected to a bendy pole appeared out of his backpack. Opening it, Jack got out the Fist of Tebigong and handed it over to Katnappe.

"What's the challenge, Val?" Jack inquired.

"Since this is Katnappe's first Showdown, we'll go with something simple: tag. Whoever gets tagged first loses."

"Tag?" Katnappe repeated incredulously. "_Meow_."

"Let's go: Xiaolin Showdown!" Valerie cried, and a bright light surrounded the island, forcing it to shift to fit the needs of the Showdown. Dark, green clouds hovered over the playing field, and the ancient statues turned to wood with strange facial markings. And then the statues moved towards the players, creating a ring big enough to hold both fighters plus the audience.

Valerie studied Katnappe as the field settled down. She seemed calm for someone about to have her first Showdown. "You seem pretty good at this," she said to her. "Jack was freaking out when he first started out."

"I like to stay cool like a cat in any situation," Katnappe said. "Well, that, and Jack's an idiot."

"Hey!"

"Blah, blah, blah…" the cat girl said. "How do we start this thing?"

"She doesn't even know how to Showdown!" Jack said.

"Hush, boy!" Wuya scolded him.

"We start like this: GONG YI TAN PAI!" Valerie yelled, showing off her Claws.

"Fist of Tebigong!" Katnappe cried, hitting the ground. The ground split towards Valerie, who shook along with the earth before finally falling on her butt. The Tiger Claws flew from her hands and towards Katnappe, only to have said Claws skitter towards the ground.

Valerie launched herself at the Claws, only to have Katnappe snatch them up. Valerie flipped over and round house kicked her in the head, only to have the cat girl dodge. Luckily Valerie's foot connected with the Fist of Tebigong, and it was sent sailing away from Katnappe.

"Tiger Claws!" Katnappe shouted, opening a rip in reality and disappearing through it. Valerie grabbed the Fist of Tebigong and put it on. She silently cursed herself for her stupidity. She shouldn't have assumed that Katnappe would be an easy fight to win. Hadn't she proved she had nerves of steel when the Showdown started? And she had used the Fist of Tebigong easily. Katnappe was not someone to be trifled with.

Valerie heard the sound of a reality rip behind her. She whirled around and threw the Fist of Tebigong into the vortex. The metal collided with a head; an 'OW!' sound could be heard. Katnappe dropped out of the reality rip on her back, little yellow birds fluttering around her head.

Valerie reached a hand for Katnappe only to be swept off her feet. Katnappe had moved at the last second-she hadn't been hurt at all. With a sweeping hand Katnappe cleared Valerie off the ground and lifted her up by the ankle.

With an evil smile, she said, "Tag, you're it."

And thus the Showdown ended with one humiliating defeat for Valerie and one awesome victory for Katnappe.

* * *

Back at the temple, everyone was crowding around Valerie in the Grand Hall, even though she would have preferred to stew over her failed Showdown and talk to Eric about it alone. Then she figured that they were just being nice. She might as well tell them how she felt.

"My first Showdown and I lose badly." Valerie shook her head. "That's pathetic."

Kimiko put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up. Sure, it would have been nice to get the Chopsticks-"

Omi cut her off with a sarcastic, "Chopsticks? Oh, yes, the Changing Chopsticks. Because the Golden Tiger Claws are so much less impressive than the wondrous Changing Chopsticks!" Omi, who hadn't been able to use the Claws, had every right to be mad at Valerie for losing them. After she had promised him too…

"Good cover," Raimundo remarked sardonically. "We completely bought it."

Valerie put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm really, _really_ sorry for losing the Claws. But we can still get them back. It sucks that I lost-especially like that- but it's best to move on and plan our next attack."

Omi, who had been scowling at her, slowly began to smile.

"On the contrary, Valerie," Master Fung said, suddenly appearing down the hallway. "There are no lessons in victory, but a thousand in defeat."

"How can that be true, Master?" Omi inquired from his mentor.

"Don't make any sense to me," Clay agreed.

Master Fung held up a green, clay, ornate elephant. "Allow me to illustrate. I challenge you to steal this elephant from me. If you succeed, no chores for one week."

"Yeah!" the Dragons said in unison. What? They were normal teenagers-they hated doing chores just like the next person.

"But," Master Fung warned, "if you lose, you must hand scrub the floors of the Grand Hall."

"Ehh…"

"Those are some mighty steep stakes, Master Fung," Clay said.

"We can do it," Kimiko said cheerfully.

"No doubt," went Raimundo.

"Eh, why not?" allowed Valerie. No harm in possibly losing once more, right?

"We accept your challenge!" Omi declared, throwing his fist in the air.

* * *

Five minutes later, Master Fung was standing in the middle of the Grand Hall with the green elephant at his feet.

As Omi silently climbed the ceiling, Kimiko and Raimundo acted as distractions by aiming for the left and front of their master. Clay was at his right, swinging a lasso, while Valerie stayed back for a bit.

Omi jumped down from the ceiling to snatch the elephant, but Master Fung kicked it up with his foot and into his hands. "Too obvious," he chided the young monk.

As Omi rolled away, Kimiko immediately went on the offensive. She kicked at Fung's shoulder; he blocked it with his palm. She tried to punch him; he blocked them with his palm. Kimiko tried jumping up and hitting him; Master Fung threw the elephant in the air and tossed Kimiko aside gently.

Catching the elephant, Master Fung said, "Perhaps you do not wish to win."

Setting the elephant down, Fung prepared for Raimundo's wild attack-screaming and launching himself at the opponent. Raimundo aimed at Fung's feet to knock him off, but Fung kicked him up into his arms and threw him over his head, forcing him to slide away.

Valerie chose that moment to walk up to Fung, no martial art poses. She bowed down low respectfully and said, "Please give us the elephant."

"No."

"Can't say I didn't try." With a battle cry, Valerie jumped up, flipped, and swung her foot down on Master Fung's head, only to have him grab her foot and throw her behind him.

With that distraction, Clay was able to lasso the elephant. "Gotcha!" he cheered. But before he could reel it in, Master Fung revealed a hammer and smashed the clay elephant to bits, destroying Clay's plan.

"Well, that's plum disappointing," Clay said as he reeled in his empty lasso.

"Hey, he broke it!" Raimundo cried. "Can he do that?"

"Master, how could we win such a contest?" Omi asked, puzzled.

"You couldn't," was Master Fung's answer.

"What?" exclaimed Kimiko.

"Your goal, my young Dragons in training, was to win, while mine was simply not to lose. That is victory enough to me."

"Okay, that's one lesson," Raimundo admitted. "What are the other nine hundred and ninety nine?"

Master Fung held up a wooden bucket full of warm, soapy water and a bristly brush (where'd he get those?). "Perhaps you'll learn them as you scrub the Grand Hall. Don't forget to get in between the tiles."

The Dragons in training were not happy he remembered.

* * *

A few minutes later, they were all scrubbing the floors, even getting in between the tiles like Master Fung said. Not that they wanted to.

"Whoo!" Raimundo cheered as he slid across the floor, his brushes tied to his feet.

"You are supposed to hand scrub the floor, Raimundo!" Omi reminded him.

"You're being too literal!" Raimundo exclaimed, sliding towards Valerie. "Besides, this is more fun!" Valerie quickly moved her bucket away before Raimundo could knock it over.

"I don't think skatin' is one of the thousand lessons we're supposed to be learnin'," Clay retorted.

"One lesson is proper scrubbing techniques," Omi said cheerfully. "I find that circular motions work best. Kimiko, you missed a spot." He pointed a bit away from him, where Kimiko was.

"Thanks," she mumbled. "Oh, what's that?" Kimiko pointed to Omi's right.

"What?" he inquired. While he was distracted, Kimiko sneakily threw some dirt from the nearest potted plant near Omi.

"Sorry, my mistake. Oh, you missed a spot, too, Omi."

Omi immediately began to scrub it. "Oh, my, thank you Kimiko. I have learned a lesson in diligence. Only nine hundred and ninety eight to go."

* * *

The next morning was hell for the youths. Valerie's arms felt like lead weights attached to cement blocks as she walked, and her legs felt like they were about to give out on her. After trying to walk, Valerie gave up on that and fell on the floor, just lying there.

"My limbs freaking hurt," Valerie moaned. "And the floor is _so_ comfy. Why hadn't I noticed before?"

"I feel like I just got off a bull," Clay moaned while rubbing his arms. "Or maybe a bull just got off of me."

Raimundo massaged his legs; apparently, the fun way wasn't all that was cracked up to be.

Kimiko couldn't even use her laptop. "It even hurts to Web surf," she griped, having to manually lift one wrist so she could type with the other finger.

Only Omi wasn't complaining, as he was upside down, using his bulbous head for balance. And then he said, "All the soreness is rushing to my head. Ow." He fell over on his back, unable to move.

"Hey, guys, look at this," Kimiko called from her laptop.

"Sure hope this is worth the walk," Clay griped as he and the other dragged themselves over to Kimiko. Even Valerie, who didn't want to leave her spot on the floor, moved like an inchworm to where Kimiko was. Who needed walking anyway?

"There are a dozen stories on the Internet about a girl in a cat costume robbing stores and then disappearing."

"Katnappe!" Clay revealed.

"Obviously," Valerie said sarcastically.

"We must stop her!" Omi announced just as he began to shake like gelatin mold. "…As soon as I stop the wobbling in my legs."

A tinny sound from the laptop announced that Kimiko had a news alert. "She's at the Mall of the World!" Kimiko revealed.

"Revenge is mine!" Valerie declared her face halfway in the carpet.

**Five minutes later**

"You want me to take you to the mall?" Dojo asked incredulously from above the Shen Gong Wu vault. "Is this official Xiaolin business or are we just gonna hang out at the food court?"

"It is most official, Dojo," Omi reassured the reptile.

"Katnappe's using the Golden Tiger Claws to commit crimes," Valerie explained.

"What?" Dojo was instantly in his fully grown form. "Climb on! We got a cat to declaw."

* * *

Valerie wished she had enough time to check out the bookstores in the Mall of the World. She had to thank Katnappe for ruining it.

Said cat girl was marveling over her haul in the middle of the mall. "Katnappe!" Omi cried, getting her attention. "You are misusing the powers of a Shen Gong Wu! You must surrender!"

Katnappe hissed. "You'll have to catch me first."

"WATER!" Omi cried, launching himself at Katnappe. He aimed for a kick at the Claws, but Katnappe deflected the attack, knocking Omi away. Using the Tiger Claws, she appeared behind Omi tying him up with the rope she had on her. Omi struggled, only to have Katnappe punch him down.

Dojo went to his little buddy's rescue, only to hear hissing behind him. He turned to see three white kitties with red eyes growling at him with razor sharp teeth. Dojo sniffed them, and then asked, "Say, you aren't genetically altered super kittens?"

The kittens hissed and growled, making Dojo say, "This is why I'm not a cat person!" before running off.

"FIRE!" Kimiko cried, getting back to the fight with Katnappe. Using the Monkey Staff, Kimiko tried to hit her with it, but Katnappe had a pole of her own. Deflecting the attack, Katnappe tried to forcefully remove the Monkey Staff from Kimiko hands. But when Kimiko tried to attack back, Katnappe used her Claws again.

A pile of boxes fell on top of Kimiko, trapping her beneath them. Katnappe gloated over the mess.

"WIND!" yelled Raimundo, who jumped towards Katnappe to try and kick her down. But she used her Claws again, appearing behind him and rapidly tying him up.

"Too slow," she taunted as she threw him towards Omi.

"AETHER!" Valerie's voice rang out before she ran, slid, and tried to swipe at Katnappe's feet. Katnappe jumped up and swiped at the air with the Tiger Claws, disappearing from Valerie's view. She reappeared behind the Dragon, tying her up with the same rapid precision with Raimundo, right before throwing her with the other guys.

"Now hold on there, Katnappe," said the resident cowboy. She turned to see Clay standing there in a kung-fu pose.

"Are you going to fight, cowboy, or just stand there?"

"Sorry, ma'am but do you have some men folk I can fight instead?"

"Come on, Clay!" Raimundo yelled at him. "Get her!"

"Sorry, guys, can't do it." Clay tipped his hat to hide his face. "I can't fight a girl."

"That would explain why he won't fight us during practice," Valerie muttered, referring to herself and Kimiko.

Within a second, Katnappe had defeated Clay. She threw him with the other guys, nearly toppling over Omi.

"Man, haven't you heard?" Raimundo told Clay. "Chivalry is dead."

"See you, Xiaolin Warriors!" Katnappe said cheerfully. "I got more shopping to do." And with a swipe of her Claws, Katnappe disappeared.

Dojo chose that moment to slither to the others. "Except for the parts where she slapped us silly and got away, I think that went pretty well."

* * *

Riding through the sky on Dojo's back, they pondered where the cat girl would strike next. "Any inspiration yet?" inquired Dojo.

"Not yet," Omi replied.

"Fine; I'll just be flying in circles! Don't mind me!"

"We need a plan to stop Katnappe," Omi said.

"Let's start with where we would _find_ Katnappe," Valerie emphasized. "She could be anywhere."

"You know back home, we have a saying," Clay told them. "'Wanna catch a rooster, go where it crows.'"

"She's already been everywhere I'd go," Kimiko said. "Toy stores, music shops, candy stores…"

"But that's you," Raimundo pointed out. "Where would a cat fanatic go?"

"I'm guessing the dog park is out," Clay joked.

Kimiko got out her laptop and immediately did a Web search. "Got it; Catatonia Land."

"Cata-what-a who Land?" questioned Omi.

"_The best_ amusement park in the world," Kimiko explained. "The scariest roller coasters, the fastest rides, and the best cotton candy anywhere."

"And everything's shaped like cats," Clay said happily.

"Just as long as is doesn't smell like cats," Raimundo grumbled. "Erg."

"That has to be where she is," Valerie said. "Dojo, high tail it to Catatonia Land!"

"Malls, theme parks," Dojo remarked. "You sure you kids aren't just playing hooky?"

* * *

The website wasn't kidding.

Cat-themed hats with the ears, rides with tiger stripes and patches, and refreshment stands with cat ears and eyes for the roof. A roller coaster with a loop even had giant metal cat ears on it.

Unfortunately for the Xiaolin monks, the amusement park was huge, and there was no sign of Cat Woman anywhere. How they could miss a girl wearing a skin tight black suit with a trans-dimensional device in her hands was beyond Valerie.

"Oh, maybe I was wrong," Kimiko said sadly. "I don't see any sign of Katnappe."

Omi forced her to move her head to the upper right. "Only because you are looking in the wrong places."

At the top of a roller coaster, in a car with orange and black tiger stripes, was Katnappe. She was throwing her hands in the air and screaming her head off as the ride went down the hill.

"The Nine-Lives Coaster," Raimundo said in awe.

"Can I sit this one out?" Dojo asked, holding his stomach and looking greener than usual. "Roller coasters make me barf."

Kimiko pointed to the gated exit of the ride. "We'll be right there waiting for her when she gets off."

"How can we win when she has already defeated us twice?" Omi inquired glumly. Valerie felt especially guilty at his tone. It was totally her fault that Katnappe had the Golden Tiger Claws; how was she supposed to fix this?

"She packs one heck of a wallop," Clay agreed.

"There are no lessons in victory, but a thousand in defeat," Omi said suddenly, like he was channeling Master Fung. Valerie was getting an idea…

"All I've learned is Clay won't fight a girl!" Raimundo smiled sheepishly as Clay glared at him.

Omi gasped and threw his finger in the air. "I am struck by inspiration!"

"So am I." Valerie turned to Omi, her face grim. "But you won't like it."

* * *

When Katnappe walked out of the gates, laughing her haughty laugh, the good guys were ready for her.

"Meow; back for more?" Katnappe inquired. "Sweet! I like kicking your butts."

"It is not our butts that shall be kicked," Omi declared. "Clay?"

Clay walked up to Katnappe with a disarming smile. Tipping his hat, he greeted the villainess with a, "Howdy, ma'am?"

"Oh, right." Katnappe giggled. "_You're_ going to fight me?"

"Nope," Clay said. "I cannot, will not, and should not ever fight a girl. But technically, a bear hug ain't fighting." And then Clay scooped up Katnappe with his arms, enveloping the struggling cat in a giant embrace.

"Hey, let go of me!"

"No can do, ma'am."

"Kitties, attack!" Three white kittens with red eyes jumped out of Katnappe's backpack and began to growl at the Xiaolin Warriors.

"Heads up!" Kimiko ducked down as Valerie caught a kitty in her hands. She grimaced at it before throwing it over at Raimundo. He head butted the kitty over at Omi, who caught it and threw it in an orange trashcan. They repeated the process for the other two kitties.

Omi then jumped and flipped over to the captive Katnappe and removed the Tiger Claws from her hand.

Just as victory seemed certain, Jack appeared in a red, oval chariot followed by three bronze robotic dogs. "I told you my bloodhound-bots could track Katnappe," Jack told Wuya smugly. He then let go of the leashes of the bloodhounds.

The dog bots immediately swarmed the Dragons, and Katnappe's kittens went to protect their mistress. Jack steered the red chariot to them and said, "Hand over the Tiger Claws."

"But I just got them!" Omi protested.

"Yeah, that's a real tear-jerker," Jack scoffed.

Omi took one look at Jack and the bloodhound-bots surrounding him and cried, "Tiger Claws!" With one swipe, a gray rip in reality appeared and sucked in the three bloodhounds. And then Omi threw the Claws into the void, never to be seen again.

"What did you just do?" Jack asked, completely mystified.

"I sent the Golden Tiger Claws to the Earth's core," Omi answered, looking pretty happy with himself. He went over to Valerie and high-fived her with a giant grin on his face. She returned it.

Clay finally let go of Katnappe with a, "It was nice not fightin' with ya, ma'am."

Katnappe ignored him and yelled, "Why did you do that? That's so stupid!"

"Perhaps," Omi told her. "I may never get a chance to use the Golden Tiger Claws, but neither will you."

Katnappe hissed and walked over to Jack. "Get in, _Ashley_," Jack said meanly as he allowed the cat girl to get in his vehicle. They sped out of the amusement park in defeat.

"So, what do we do now?" Raimundo asked the others.

Valerie looked around the amusement park and said, "Cotton candy, anyone?"

* * *

Back at the temple, the five Dragons were meditating in a circle in the shade of a tree. "You okay, Omi?" Kimiko questioned gently. "You really wanted to use those Tiger Claws."

"Sorry I had to make you throw them away," Valerie said sadly. "I still feel really awful about that."

"One does not always get what one wants, Kimiko," Omi said wisely. "And your idea was only in case there was no other option, Valerie. I do not mind the defeat as long as we win in the long run."

Clay sighed. "Guess that's another one of Master Fung's thousand lessons."

"These thousand lessons, I'm not gettin' 'em," Raimundo said. "I get three, maybe four tops."

"So true," Valerie teased.

"Not getting all the lessons are we?" Master asked as he walked up to the Dragons with Dojo on his shoulder. "Then perhaps a refresher is required." Maser Fung held up a simple green clay monkey.

"I shall guard this jade monkey. If you can steal it from me-"

"Pass," said Raimundo before running away.

"Ditto." Kimiko followed suit.

"Not happening." Valerie.

"Wait for me!" Clay.

"I mean no disrespect, Master, but I am so outta here," Omi said, running away.

"Nobody messes with the Fung Man," Dojo said as he high-fived a grinning Master Fung.

* * *

_Omi with the Golden Tigers Claw for a day? What do you think he would do? Personally, I think he'd go to the Big Apple to see if there really was a big apple there. XD_


	6. Allergies and Thunder Swords

Chapter 6: Allergies and Thunder Swords

_Smell that new chapter smell, people? Have you smelled it yet? Okay, now stop, you're creeping me out. XD LAWL_

_Anyway, like I said, my summer is pretty hectic. Not only do I have the stuff mentioned last chapter, but I'm planning on going to Youmacon, and I need money to buy costumes and to get in. I got a babysitting job for a few weeks, but it's a nine-hour-a-day job, which doesn't leave much in the way of writing. Nevertheless, I will prevail and give you the chapters you so crave._

_On with the show!_

* * *

At the Xiaolin Temple, Dojo was sneezing it up thanks to some nasty allergies. He called to the other monks and held up the Ancient Scroll.

"I got good news and bad news," Dojo said. "Good news, a new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself." He opened the scroll to show off the new sword Wu. "The bad news-ah, ah, ACHOOO!" Dojo sneezed and fire escaped from his mouth. "The bad news is that this one makes me sneeze."

"No, the bad news is that I don't have fireproof pants," Raimundo said as he wiped the soot off his monk clothes.

Dojo put his fists on his hips. "Aw, thanks; _very_ supportive."

"We don't need the sarcasm, Dojo," Valerie said, rolling her eyes.

And then Dojo sneezed again, shooting fire and soot out of his mouth once more. Everyone coughed and tried to wave away the smoke.

"Okay, maybe we _do_ need the sarcasm," Valerie admitted as the smoke cleared.

"The Sword of the Storm," Omi revealed today's Shen Gong Wu. "I have studied this particular Shen Gong Wu for many years. There are many things you must be aware of when using this wind Shen Gong Wu…"

Omi then began explaining all he knew about it, but Valerie's mind began to drift to another topic. She probably shouldn't be doing that, but Omi never did know when to shut up and it forced Valerie to pretend that she was listening.

She felt her mind drift to the latest email she got from Eric. They were always doing that, since the time differences made it difficult for a phone call. In the email, Eric had been all about his new girlfriend. According to him, they had first met in Geneva, when Eric had been beating up a pair of ruffians who were harassing a poor girl. Eric was about to lay into the last two when Victoria showed up and took them out using karate and shadow boxing. After they made sure the girl was alright, they went out for a date and had recently become a couple.

Valerie was happy for Eric, she really was, but the relationship seemed to be progressing a bit too quickly for her. Shouldn't they be friends first, and then date? But if they did that, there was the risk of Eric getting friend-zoned… Whatever; Eric was grown up enough to figure it out for himself.

Valerie tuned in for the last bit of the lecture, talking about how the Sword could conjure up winds as strong as tornadoes. "Do you have any questions, Valerie?" Omi asked of her.

Valerie nearly faltered before she made one up. "Can the Sword be used like a real sword or can it just blow wind?"

Omi pondered that for a moment. "I do not recall a warrior ever using it for that purpose, but I believe it can." He turned to Raimundo, who had also been daydreaming. "Do you have any questions about the Sword of the Storm, Raimundo?" Omi inquired of him.

Raimundo faltered a bit, and then said arrogantly, "Yeah, just one. Can you stop flapping your lips and let us go get it already?"

* * *

"It's somewhere down there," Dojo said as they flew over islands near Monte Carlo, France. Valerie was glad she had dressed for the weather in old flip flops, dark denim shorts, a white tank top, and a simple white baseball hat with her long hair in a convenient braid.

Kimiko, as usual, was dressed in her Harajuku style with green hair split into three ponytails, a purple ruffle camisole, a purple mini pixie skirt, and black sandals. The boys were dressed normally, so Valerie either assumed they had more than one pair of those particular clothes or they really like wearing them.

Dojo suddenly sneezed, and everyone was thrown into the air like rag dolls. Screaming in fright, they grabbed onto Dojo again as gravity made them plummet.

"I can't tell where the Wu is, what with the allergies and all," Dojo said as everyone calmed down.

"Just get us on the range, Dojo, and we'll do the cow ropin'," Clay said with his usual Southern drawl.

"What?" inquired Raimundo.

"I think he means, 'get us close, and we'll find it'," Kimiko interpreted.

"So why didn't he just say it?" Raimundo asked.

Dojo began to descend, going in circles onto the beach. "What a vibrant city," Omi complimented.

"It's Monte Carlo, France," Valerie noted. "I've been here once. The beaches are awesome. I think you'll like it Raimundo."

"And how do you figure?" Raimundo asked playfully.

"…It's a beach."

"And you're point is?"

"Think about it," Valerie said as Dojo finally descended and reverted back into his normal, small form.

As Raimundo gazed at the waves, he said to Valerie, "Oh, yeah, I like it. It's almost as good as Rio. Almost."

"This is not a vacation," Omi scolded him. "We are here to find the Sword of the Storm. We must stay focused."

"Okay, I will," Raimundo said as he began to ogle a busty lady in a white bikini who happened to be walking by. "I'm always focused."

"Boys," Valerie muttered under her breath.

"Also, remember, if you have any questions, I am an expert on this Shen Gong Wu," Omi said proudly.

"Like you'd ever let us forget," Raimundo said.

Dojo sneezed once more, spreading soot around like an erupting volcano. "I'm sorry, kids, I can't hone in on this one. You're on your own."

"A net cast wide catches more fish," Omi stated as he shook off some soot.

"What?" asked Raimundo.

"I think he means we should split up," Kimiko interpreted.

"Would it kill you guys to just say what you mean?" Raimundo asked before everyone separated. Raimundo went on his own, Clay and Omi went left, and the girls went right.

"So is it true you lived in France?" Kimiko asked as the two of them scoured their part of the beach.

"Who told you?"

"I overheard you telling Rai and Clay."

"Oh, yeah, we were on our first Shen Gong Wu hunt," Valerie reminisced. "What do you want to know?"

"Just exactly where you've been."

Valerie began to count on her fingers. "I was born in Canada, then I moved to Spain, then Italy, then Germany, Poland, Russia, France, then finally Switzerland."

"So, everywhere."

"Just everywhere in Europe. How about you?"

"I've travelled all over Japan," Kimiko explained. "It was usually for my dad's business trips, though."

"What does your dad do for a living?" Valerie asked innocently.

Kimiko seemed to ponder that before saying, "He owns a video game company. How about you?"

"My parents slapped their name on everything from cars to dog food," Valerie said glibly. "That and they're masters when it comes to the world-wide stock market. Who knows; maybe they bought a stock in your dad's company."

"You really think so."

Anything's possible."

"Like one of Jack's new sidekicks coming to take the Shen Gong Wu for him," Kimiko joked.

Valerie looked at her, confused. "What?"

"Oh, didn't I show you?" Kimiko fished out her PDA to reveal a signup sheet for new evil henchmen. "Jack's idea, no doubt," she said.

"Does Jack even have the money for that?" Valerie thought out loud.

"He has an army of robots," Kimiko scoffed. "I think he'd be able to afford a few sidekicks."

"Though I wonder who'd be desperate enough to work for Jack Spicer," Valerie joshed, making the two girls laugh at their mutual enemy.

Suddenly, a sandstorm seemed to overtake the beach, knocking away tourists and beachgoers away. Valerie dodged an umbrella flying towards her and tried to look for the source of the wind.

And then she saw Raimundo up in the air, screaming as he landed in a sand dune, sending up a cloud of dusty sand.

The other Dragons immediately went over to the crash site, looking for him. After a few minutes of searching, Omi asked, "Has anyone seen Raimundo? I fear for his safety."

"All I saw was a giant sandstorm," Kimiko said.

Dojo began to sniff the air. "Hallelujah! My sinuses are clear!"

"Maybe you can use your nose to track down Raimundo," Valerie said seriously.

Just then, Dojo was lifted up into the air by Raimundo's head. He was stuck neck deep in the sand, and he was not looking happy.

"Whoa, Raimundo-bubba," Clay said, shocked. "What happened to you?"

"Well, asides getting sand in my pants, a ninja took the Sword," Raimundo said sheepishly.

"That explains the drained sinuses," Dojo quipped as Clay lifted Raimundo out of the ground.

"You found the Sword of the Storm?" Kimiko asked.

"And you lost it?" Clay asked in disbelief.

"It wasn't my fault!" Raimundo threw up his hands, sending the sand stuck in his sleeves out. "The Sword didn't even work!"

"Did you not remember what I said about this Shen Gong Wu?" Omi patronized Raimundo.

"Well, yeah, course I did." Everyone except Valerie glared at him.

"You didn't hear a word he said, did you?" Kimiko accused him.

"I, uh, might have missed the middle part."

Kimiko groaned and stalked away. Clay said, "Raimundo was defeated by a wind Shen Gong Wu? But ain't wind _your_ Dragon element?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get the point, I messed up! Like you guys never make mistakes." Raimundo stalked away, hands in his pockets.

Valerie looked over at Omi, who was red in the face with steam pouring out his head. She helped Clay carry him back to Dojo, with Valerie glad that she wasn't the one who found the Sword.

* * *

**Back at the Temple**

Omi was using ninja kicks to destroy practice vases on poles, Clay was lassoing the doggie through the hoop of fake flames, Kimiko was playing a videogame while leaning against a wall, Valerie was reading _Ripper_ by Stefan Petrucha while sitting in the training plaza, and Raimundo was moping around the place.

When he passed by Kimiko, she asked, "What's up, Raimundo?"

Raimundo answered with a downcast, "Nothing."

Knowing what was wrong with him Valerie quickly ran to her room and grabbed _High in School_ by Salman Aditya. She then ran out back to the training grounds and looked for Raimundo. She found him by the ornate black gate which had carvings of vines on it. Omi was there too, and it seemed like he was trying to cheer him up but was failing miserably. Raimundo then walked away from him, so Valerie went to follow.

So did Omi. The two of them followed Raimundo into the dorms. Omi began to talk: "I know your humiliating defeat has saddened you. Still, you must take hope that one day you will be as skilled and as talented as me."

Raimundo punted Omi out the door.

Raimundo went to glower out the window, so Valerie decided she should have a go at it. "Raimundo, you should totally read this book I picked out for you. It's hilarious."

"Thanks, but no thanks," he said quietly.

Valerie looked at him and held up the book. "You could at least read the back cover."

"I'm not interested."

Valerie threw her up her hands and left the room. Kimiko was about to walk in with her videogame in hand, so Valerie left her to it. She walked to the other boys and stood there waiting for Kimiko.

Kimiko went out with her videogame still in hand, but she was smiling. "What happened?" Clay inquired.

"Master Fung's going to talk with Raimundo."

"Ah, yes. No doubt he will bestow some of his wisdom to get Raimundo out of his bunk."

"You mean funk," Kimiko corrected Omi.

"That too."

* * *

They found Raimundo in the scroll room, pouring over dozens of scrolls all about the Shen Gong Wu. He was so into it that he missed dinner and continued studying into the night. This worried the others, who didn't even know Raimundo could study.

Valerie and Clay held lit candles and both went to see if Raimundo was willing to give the studying a rest for the night.

"Raimundo, partner, it's pretty late," Clay said while rubbing at his eyes. "Maybe you ought to give that stuff a rest."

"No way," Raimundo said. "I'm gonna learn everything I can about the Shen Gong Wu."

"Doesn't do any good to close the barn door after the horses get out."

"_What?"_

"Never mind." Clay then left the room, leaving Valerie alone with Raimundo.

She sighed. "I'm not going to tell you to stop studying-"

"Good."

"But I will say that pretty soon you're eyes will get sore and your vision will swim if you keep this up."

"Good advice."

"Not that you'll listen to it," Valerie muttered as she too left Raimundo to his scrolls.

The next morning, a new Shen Gong Wu revealed itself.

"The Shroud of Shadows," Valerie read the name off the Ancient Scroll. The moving picture revealed a stick man suddenly disappearing when he put on the Shroud.

"Is there something wrong with the scroll?" Kimiko asked worriedly.

"No," Raimundo said, "it's the Shroud of Shadows, which allows its user to become invisible."

"Looks like all that studying really paid off," Valerie marveled, especially at how energetic Raimundo was. There wasn't a dark bag under his eyes at all.

Dojo, who had a clothes pin on his nose, took it. "Let's go. The faster we find this Shen Gong Wu, the faster my sinuses clear up."

* * *

"Tokyo," Kimiko announced as they neared the mountains. "Home sweet home."

They landed at the entrance to a shrine, the big red gate looming over them. Behind them was a fountain with two black koi fish going in circles in the water.

"Whoo-wee!" Clay whistled. "Look at those fish. Sure wish I brought my pole."

"Look!" Raimundo pointed to the middle of the pool and then leaped onto a giant lily pad. He plunged his hand into the water, searching.

"What? I don't see anything…" Kimiko began just as Raimundo got out the Shroud of Shadows.

"Nothing to it," Raimundo gloated to himself just as a Jack-Bot pushed him into the water, making him let go of the Shroud.

The others heard a battle cry, and an obese ninja blocked out the sun for a moment, right before landing on a lily pad.

"Thank you for locating the Shen Gong Wu. We will be taking possession of it now," the ninja said as an army of Jack-Bots appeared with the evil boy genius himself hovering in the air.

"WATER!" Omi cried. He slammed himself into the fat ninja feet first, forcing him to bend forward and fly backwards. He let go of the Shroud.

"FIRE!" Kimiko yelled. She slid over to a Jack-Bot and, grabbing it by the head, threw it at Jack Spicer. Jack had been trying to nab the Shroud secretly, but instead he got hit by his own robot. He landed in some bushes, saying, "Ow, thorns!"

"AETHER!" Valerie called. She whipped a rock at a Jack-Bot, decapitating it. She grabbed the head out of the air and threw it at another Jack-Bot. The robot shook a little before exploding. "Didn't expect that," she said after the attack.

"EARTH!" shouted Clay before launching himself into the air. He then yelled, "CANNON BALL!" and plummeted into the water, giving everyone in the vicinity a cold bath. But that distraction gave him the chance to snatch the Shroud of Shadows.

Only the fat ninja wasn't having that. He threw himself at Clay, knocking him against the fountain. Clay let go of the Shroud, and the ninja grabbed at it at the same time Raimundo did.

"This one's mine, Tubbimura," he said with a smirk.

"There is only one way to determine the winner," Tubbimura said primly. "I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. We will each stand on a rock in the pond, and try to knock the other one into the water."

"Sounds good," Raimundo said, "but just to make it a little more fun, I challenge you to a Shen Yi Bu Dare!"

"A Shen Yi-what?" Jack Spicer asked Wuya. "Okay, now I know they're making stuff up."

"You mind filling us in, partner?" asked Clay as he and the other Dragons went into the pond.

"I must admit even an expert like myself does not have this knowledge," said Omi.

"The Shen Yi Bu Dare," Dojo mused on Clay's shoulder. "Well, yes, I know what it is, but for everyone else, why don't you fill them in, Raimundo?"

"Smooth," Valerie said sarcastically. That earned her a glare from the dragon.

"It's something I came across in my studies," Raimundo explained. "It's like a double dare. Each contestant wagers two Shen Gong Wu. Winner takes all."

"Then I will possess five Shen Gong Wu, _hai_," Tubbimura said arrogantly.

"Not when I toss your sorry can in the water, you won't."

"Which Shen Gong Wu do you wager?"

"The Eye of Dashi and the Two Ton Tunic against your Sword of the Storm and Fist of Tebigong," Raimundo decreed.

"_Hai_, onto Shen Yi Bu Dare!" Tubbimura bounced on his back, jumped into the air, and landed feet first onto a rock.

"How about every once in a while, we swap Shen Gong Wu?" Raimundo asked innocently. Valerie wondered what he was planning.

Tubbimura pulled up his pants. "_Hai_; enough talk! Onto the battle!"

Raimundo got up on a rock. "Let's go; Xiaolin Showdown!" he and Tubbimura said in unison, and all the water in the pond/fountain splashed up, high into the sky. Lightning flashed into the sky, and the two koi fish became huge behemoths as they circled and jumped out of the water. Raimundo and Tubbimura were on two separate pillars-the rocks in the game.

The others were also on pedestals, on the sidelines. Rain was pelting them, yet they could barely feel the cold seeping into their skin.

"I sure hope Raimundo knows what he's doing," Clay said to the rest of them.

"How can he?" Kimiko pointed out. "Even Omi doesn't know what he's doing, and he's the expert!"

"Well, he did spend most of the night last night studying," Valerie pointed out. "Maybe he found something that even Omi doesn't know."

"GONG YI TAN PAI!" the two contestants shouted, starting the Showdown.

"Sword of the Storm!" Tubbimura yelled, turning the sword like it was a giant fan. Great winds gushed out of it like a tornado, aimed straight for Raimundo.

"Two Ton Tunic!" Raimundo yelled, kneeling on the pillar. The armor kept him down as the winds passed him harmlessly. "Sorry, Tubbimura; I'm not going anywhere!"

"You show him, partner!" Clay gave his buddy a thumbs up for the quick thinking.

"Eye of Dashi!" Raimundo countered, sending a lightning bolt at the obese ninja. He countered with the Fist of Tebigong, which conducted the lightning away from his tubby body.

Suddenly a giant, black koi fish erupted from the water, grabbing the Fist with its one tentacle and landing back into the water. "What trickery is this?" Tubbimura exclaimed.

Raimundo held up his Tunic as an offering. "It's the Shen Yi Bu Switcheroo!" The other black koi fish took the offering as it was out of the water.

"Those two fish would make fine fillets," Clay said, rubbing his stomach.

The two behemoths then gave the other side the other's Shen Gong Wu, meaning Tubbimura had the Two Ton Tunic while Raimundo got the Fist of Tebigong.

Wearing the Tunic, Tubbimura declared, "Now you will face the full sting of my Sword; Sword of the Storm!" He moved the Sword with the wind, causing it to follow the blade like it was a magnet. The wind hovered above the water and forced it into a watery tornado, spinning its way over to Raimundo.

Raimundo tried to hang in there, but the water splashed over him and made him lose his grip. He flew haphazardly through the air, being buffeted by the winds and swirling to and fro like a rag doll.

And then the winds died down, and Raimundo plummeted to the earth. "Fist of Tebigong!" he shouted, using the fingers of the Fist to get a grip on the pillar. But the rock he was gripping broke, and down Raimundo went, sliding until he nearly reached the water, where he stopped.

The koi fish then erupted from the water, taking the Fist of Tebigong with it. The other koi fish took the Sword of the Storm from Tubbimura and gave it to Raimundo.

When Tubbimura got the Fist of Tebigong, he sneered, "The Shen Yi Bu has turned against you!"

Raimundo began to slip down towards the water; one hand clutching the Sword like his life depended on it.

"Best of luck using the Sword without falling!" Tubbimura teased before laughing an evil laugh.

"You must choose; drop the Sword of the Storm, or fall."

"Okay, I choose fall." Raimundo let go of the pillar and fell to the water.

"Raimundo!" Kimiko and Valerie cried.

"Eye of Dashi and Sword of the Storm!" Raimundo put the Eye on the hilt of the Sword, and with it he glided across the water towards Tubbimura, without a single drop of water getting on his person.

"Most inventive!" Omi congratulated him. "He has combined two Shen Gong Wu!"

Raimundo glided across the water and up Tubbimura's pillar like a streak of light, knocking the ninja flat on his back.

"Told you I was a Dragon of the Wind!" Raimundo said as he rode through the air. As he neared Tubbimura, he tried punching him with the Fist, only to have the Fist go through his body like Raimundo was a ghost.

"You should have done your homework," Raimundo chided him as he blew a gust of wind from his mouth at Tubbimura.

"Two Ton Tunic!" Tubbimura cried out desperately, kneeling under the heavy weight of the armor. Raimundo flew around the ninja like a white tornado, lifting him up off the pillar like he was a feather.

"Put me down!" Tubbimura demanded. Raimundo happily complied by pushing him into the water. The Showdown ended with Tubbimura falling into the pond with the two tiny koi fish swirling around him.

"Enjoy your bath, Tubbimura!" Raimundo said before turning to his friends with all five Shen Gong Wu in his possession.

"Way to go!" Valerie cheered as the others rushed him to congratulate him.

Dojo began sniffing the air. "Finally, I can breathe again!" A wind full of white flower petals wafted over him. "Or not. ACHOOO!" He shot fire out of his mouth over by the bushes, frying Jack, who was trying to sneakily get away. His entire back was fried to a crisp, and half of his hair was gone. A flame flickered over the remaining locks.

"Gesundheit," said Jack Spicer.

* * *

Valerie decided that since Raimundo did such a good job pulling off that hat trick of a Showdown, he deserved a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. She found him once again in the scroll room, only with Omi hanging around him with the Shroud of Shadows under his arm.

"Come on; please tell me what you are studying!" Omi pleaded, giving Raimundo the puppy dog eyes.

"No."

"Please? I will acknowledge you as the expert."

"I'm the expert anyway."

"Will you at least give me a hint of the nature of your study?"

"Well," Raimundo began, "let's just say I'm preparing for future challenges."

"Leave him alone, Omi," Valerie gently scolded the little monk. "If he wants to study alone, let him."

Omi huffed and threw the Shroud of Shadows over his shoulder and walked out of the room. When he was gone, Raimundo turned to Valerie. "And what are you doing here?" he asked not unkindly.

"Just giving you a snack," Valerie replied glibly. Raimundo took the plate and glass and immediately began to chow down. Valerie took the chance to peek at what he was studying.

He was reading _High in School_ by Salman Aditya.

"'Preparing for future battles'?" Valerie repeated, pointing at the book.

Raimundo shrugged unapologetically. "Everyone knows you need a funny comeback in battle. This is just a possible reference."

Valerie shrugged. "I have to admit though; I'm glad you were the one who first found the Sword of the Storm instead of me."

"Why's that?"

"Because I didn't really pay any attention to Omi either," Valerie admitted. She then ran out of the room just as Raimundo exploded.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

_Kimiko learned to control her temper, everyone trusts Clay's 'slow and steady wins the race' tactic, Raimundo learns to listen for once in life...You know what that means._

_THE FILLER CHAPTERS ARE OVER! I CAN CHANGE UP THE CANON! WHOO-HOO! _

_Stay tuned people, because it's gonna be good._


	7. X-Files and Jack the Ripper

Chapter 7: X-Files and Jack the Ripper

_Wow, I haven't updated in, what, a month? I'd apologize, but I already explained why I would be absent. And I did say sorry about four times already._

_Also, I just created a brand new adventure. There's no mention of this anywhere in the show, though the Shen Gong Wu is part of the trading card game. Either way, it's a break from canon._

_Also, I put a lot of research into this chapter. I triple checked all my facts so it should be accurate. Though if you find anything wrong, PLEASE tell me so I can go back and fix it._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown, I only own my OCs. Even the new ones._

* * *

Valerie did okay in math, but in all honesty, if she had to choose, she'd scrap it in favor of English or another language. Foreign language simply made more sense to her, due to its simple logic. It was currently after classes, where the warriors would normally finish up their studies and prepare for training. The last class of the day was always math, a chore Valerie especially disliked. At least it was over for the day.

As a continuation of their afternoon ritual, the kids were now at the training ground with Master Fung, who was standing in front of a massive square maze made completely out of hedges with branches taller than even Clay. From Valerie's vantage point, the entire thing made up a quarter of a mile. Funny how no one noticed it before.

"Today's exercise is to advance your sense of direction and trust your instincts," Master Fung explained as he stood in front of the entrance. "Your goal is to simply find the Shen Gong Wu in the middle and exit the maze with it. You must be careful, for there are traps that will hinder you from your goal and your fellow Dragons can steal the Shen Gong Wu in your moment of weakness."

"Well that don't sound too hard," said Clay.

"It may seem easy, but you can never be sure whether someone is trying to help you or secretly plotting against you."

"How wise, Master Fung," Omi said reverently.

"Yeah, for once what you said actually made sense," Valerie quipped.

"I'm so glad you do. Now would you like to start the exercise, Valerie?" Master Fung stood to the side so Valerie could go in. She was about to run in when he stopped her with, "You only have ten seconds to pick a path before the others follow. Choose wisely, all of you." Fung looked at the other monks.

"Got it," everyone chirped as Valerie sprinted into the maze.

The maze reminded Valerie of that castle garden in Poland she and Eric had visited when she was younger. The hedge maze there was much larger than this one, going a full mile in a spiral pattern around the medieval castle, but the effect was the same; Valerie was lost within seconds. She had taken the left route since she was left handed but now she could see that maybe choosing on a whim may not have been the smartest decision.

Oh well. Valerie could figure out a way to the center of the maze. All she had to do was stay calm and think positive, just like Eric taught her.

And then her foot sank into the ground slightly, and Valerie could feel the top of a spring on the sole of her foot. She jumped back, but the trap had already sprung. Two hidden wooden arrows flew out of the side of the hedge. Valerie jumped back just in time to miss the first, but the tip of the second arrow grazed the back of her wrist just before plunging headfirst into the other side of the hedge. She grabbed her wrist in pain and staggered, trying not to wince as she looked at the wound.

It could've been worse. The arrow had ripped apart some of the sleeve, but the cut was clean, not even half-inch in width. The blood oozing out of it was a problem though. The red liquid was dripping onto the ground. Valerie tore off the loose cloth of her uniform and tied it as best she could around the wound, using her uninjured hand and teeth to tighten the knot. The bandage was awful, but it temporarily stemmed the flow.

Valerie turned right at the opening, trying not to let the pain from her wrist cloud her judgment. She had faced worse pain before; she couldn't count how many bumps and scrapes and bruises she received playing sports when she was younger. The wound from the arrow was no different. At least, that's what she told herself.

Valerie was more careful and quicker this time. She wondered where the others were and how they were faring.

"AH!" That scream sounded like Raimundo.

"HI-YAH!" That was definitely Kimiko.

The sounds of arrows hitting a stump sounded through the air. "Take that, arrow!" Omi cried out.

Valerie quickened her pace. Her friends sounded much closer to the goal than she was. And then she felt her foot step on a rope. She did a one handed back flip just as the rope snare snapped together and lifted itself up high in the hedge from a strong branch.

Valerie sighed in relief. She ran to the right and continued straight and bumped right into the white pedestal with the Eye of Dashi resting on it. The pedestal tilted from the impact and the Shen Gong Wu clattered to the ground, right at Clay's feet.

The cowboy picked it up and tilted his hat. "Sorry, Val, but it looks like I win."

Valerie stood up and dusted herself off. "You forget that you have to leave the maze with the Shen Gong Wu to win." She kicked the tilting pedestal at Clay, watching it topple over the cowboy. Clay instinctively put his hands forward to catch it, letting go of the Eye of Dashi. Valerie sprinted to the side and slid on the grass and caught the Eye before it hit the ground. And then she ran as fast as she could out of the middle of the maze.

Valerie dodged to the left and slammed right into Kimiko. Both girls fell to the ground, grabbing their aching heads. Valerie let go of the Eye and it fell in between them. Both girls looked at it, then looked at each other, and were both on their feet instantly.

They eyed each other, muscles tense. And then Kimiko dove for the Shen Gong Wu. Valerie ran to it and dropped to the ground, winding her legs in a sweeping motion. With a well placed kick the Eye soared right through the edge, and on the other side of the wall, Omi cried out, "OW!"

Valerie stood up and did a front flip over the wall right behind Omi, who was rubbing the bump on his head and holding the Eye of Dashi. Omi looked at her bewildered just as Kimiko did a front flip over the wall in front of Omi.

Before the little guy could react, a tan hand snatched the Eye right out of his hands. "Too slow," Raimundo taunted as he swung his legs over a branch. For some reason he was covered in rose thorns. He flipped himself over and flew through the air before landing a few feet away from them. He blew them a raspberry as he ran away.

All three of them caught up to him and landed on top of him, punching and kicking and-in Omi's case-biting each other for the Shen Gong Wu. In the middle of the tumble, Valerie could make out the exit just a few feet away.

"Congratulations on winning, Clay," Master Fung said loudly, making the other monks stop fighting and look at their teacher in bewilderment. Right next to him was Clay, holding the Eye of Dashi. Everyone snapped back to Raimundo, who was no longer holding the Eye.

"How did he get it?" Raimundo asked in shock.

"It fell out towards me while y'all was fightin'," Clay explained, tilting his hat.

"Of course it did," Valerie mumbled under her breath.

"Now that the exercise is over, I hope you all learned that even friends can turn on each other for something as simple as a prize," Master Fung said wisely. "Now I suggest all of you to go to the infirmary. We don't want any infections from those cuts."

Valerie looked at the others: Omi was sporting a large bruise on his head, the hem of Kimiko's skirt was ripped up and there was a cut oozing blood on her knee, Raimundo was still covered in thorns, and the wound on Valerie's wrist had bled through the makeshift bandage and was smarting really bad. Clay, the lucky bastard, was the only one unharmed.

* * *

**In the infirmary**

"You have no idea how to bandage a wound, do you?" Chan clucked. The woman who had picked Valerie up at the airport to go to the Xiaolin Temple was actually the temple's nurse. Hui was a labor hand who helped create the training grounds for the monks' exercises. It would explain why Valerie never saw them.

"This is going to sting," Chan told her as she pressed a cotton ball soaked with iodine onto Valerie's wound. She gave a yelp of pain but didn't try to wrench her hand free. Chan then bandaged it and kicked her out of the infirmary. The bandage itched like the dickens, but Valerie resisted the temptation to scratch.

She found the others hanging out outside, idly enjoying the sunshine. It was probably better that way, since at any time Master Fung could give them chores to do.

"Gang way!" Dojo slithered from under Valerie with the Ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu in his arms. "We've got a hot Shen Gong Wu!"

"What is it this time?" Kimiko asked as they all crowded around the reptile. Dojo opened the scroll to reveal a pyramid inside a glass ball hanging from a rope.

"The Culver Crystal," Omi announced.

The stick figure held up the lantern in a dark cave. And then a sphere appeared in front of the figure, illuminating the dark passage.

"The Culver Crystal creates a glittering and blinding sphere of light that helps its users during escapes," Dojo stated.

"Well that's a handy Shen Gong Wu," Clay noted.

"It also makes a really cool flashlight."

* * *

"Ooh, Whitechapel!" Valerie said as she finished retying her hair into a braid. "One of the seedier places in London."

The Culver Crystal was located in East London, England, otherwise known as Whitechapel. A rather ominous resting ground if you knew the grisly history. The buildings were old, but they looked brand new in the sunlight. Locals were mixed in with tourists as they walked down the streets, and punkers stalked the place along with the artists.

From what Valerie had read about England, the weather was usually chilly no matter what time of day it was. She was glad to be wrong, since she was wearing jeans and sneakers and a black baseball cap and a black t-shirt with Pink Floyd's Over the Moon album cover on the front (the one with the triangle and the rainbow next to it). She had a small blue backpack stuffed with books and a blue jacket and the Shroud of Shadows.

"Do you think there are any brochures about the Whitechapel murders?" Valerie asked aloud. The others stopped looking for the Shen Gong Wu and turned to her.

"We don't really have the time for that now," Clay said reasonably.

"Excuse me, but what are the Whitechapel murders?" Omi asked, confused. Being closed off to just the Xiaolin Temple, the little guy had little experience of the outside world. Current events held little interest to him, but Valerie would have figured he'd at least heard of the most notorious killer ever. She decided to humor him.

"Well, back in 1888, there was a murderer called Jack the Ripper," Valerie began. "He was a seriously messed up dude who cut up women right here in Whitechapel. It went on for about two years with about eleven or so murders before he suddenly stopped. Ripper was never caught, and to this day there are guesses about his real identity."

Omi's eyes went huge and his bottom lip trembled. "What kind of person does such a thing?"

"A seriously messed up dude, that's who," Raimundo said. He turned to Valerie. "You really know a lot about this guy. Should we be worried?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, you shouldn't. True crime is one of my favorite genres to read, and Jack the Ripper comes up a lot."

"That's cool and all, but we should really be focusing on finding the Shen Gong Wu," Kimiko pointed out, holding out the Ancient Scroll. As usual, she was wearing Harajuku street fashion: this time her hair was light brown and cut in the Visual Kei style, all short and spiky. She had on an off-shoulder long sleeved white top with an acid-washed jean skirt with pink tights and black high-heeled boots. The outfit was much tamer than some of her usual outfits, but it was still fairly out there.

"Hold on, give me a minute," Dojo said from Clay's hat. He studied his surroundings for a bit before starting to shake. "Left, left!" he cried, pointing.

The warriors barreled through the crowd and veered to the left, where the street led to George Yard, a narrow place full of tourists. Tour vehicles rode down the cobblestone steps and guides talked about the second Whitechapel murder.

"It's somewhere around here!" Dojo said excitedly.

"Of course it is," Raimundo said sarcastically. "Why wouldn't the Culver Crystal be hidden at a murder site?"

"It makes a lot of poetic sense," Valerie mused. "According to the books I read, the second victim, Martha Tabram, was killed around here in the middle of the night. She was in a decrepit neighborhood full of unsavory characters, and since she was a prostitute in England society, she would have been in a situation she couldn't escape from with no light to guide her."

"Prostitute?" Omi asked, puzzled.

"I'll, uh, explain it to you later," Clay said, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"You're wrong," someone said from behind them. They all turned to see a teenage boy with blonde hair and brown eyes wearing a Sherlock Holmes deerstalker hat. He had on a white t-shirt with the words, "The truth is out there" in bold black print with jeans and grungy sneakers.

"You're wrong," the boy said again. "Martha Tabram's murder is only barely linked to Jack the Ripper. She may have been murdered in Whitechapel, but she was stabbed 39 times with a short blade instead of slashed like all the later victims."

Valerie bristled. "Well, what about Emma Smith? She's considered Ripper's first victim even though she reported being attacked by three men. Hell, she even survived the encounter, unlike all the others."

"Yes, but we weren't talking about Emma Smith, now weren't we?" The boy smirked. With the hat on he looked even more ridiculous. Steam started billowing out Valerie's ears as she glared daggers at him. If there was one thing she hated, it was getting showed up on a subject she knew well.

"Learn your facts before telling other people," the boy said, twisting the knife in. As he walked past her, he tugged on Valerie's braid before running away. Fire shooting out of her mouth, she tried to grab him only to get held back by Clay and Raimundo. She struggled a bit before simmering down. _Peace, calm, tranquility…Peace, calm, tranquility…_

"Girl, you are scary when you're angry," Raimundo said as he prodded Valerie's arm. He was grinning mockingly at her, which made Valerie's irritation flare up.

"Let's go find the Crystal," she said through gritted teeth. "Dojo, got any leads?"

"Its super close," he said, shaking like crazy. "Like, maybe a few streets down from here."

"Lead the way, Clay," Valerie said, since the dragon was on Clay's hat. They began to walk when she felt another tug on her braid. "Hey!"

"You got something stuck in here." Kimiko dislodged a folded piece of paper from Valerie's braid and opened it. "It's a phone number from that kid!"

"What?" Valerie took the paper as looked at it with the guys crowding around her. In messy boy handwriting, the name read as Theo Armstrong. Underneath the name was, indeed, a phone number.

"That cocky prick!" Valerie blurted out angrily, crumbling the paper in her hands.

"I do not believe you should judge him so quickly, Valerie," Omi said sagely. "It would be good for you to converse with a boy who is naturally smarter than you. You will absorb more knowledge that way."

"Omi, please lose the smile before I wipe it off for you."

Omi, who had an arrogant-looking grin on his face, turned his lips into an X shape.

"Or we could prank call him," Raimundo offered, a hesitant smile on his face. "He doesn't know your number, so it'll be easy."

Valerie liked that idea. An evil grin was forming on her face, and she let out a dastardly chuckle. She held up a hand. "High-five, bro."

Before Raimundo could do just that, Clay interrupted. "Won't he expect that, though?"

Dojo nodded his head. "He riled you up so much that you'll stoop to his level. I gotta say, it's a good move."

Valerie blinked. That made too much sense. With a defeated sigh, she ripped up the note and put the pieces into the nearest rubbish bin. "Let's go find that Shen Gong Wu."

* * *

Theo Armstrong refused to take off deerstalker hat. It didn't matter if the sun beating down on him was making him sweat or if people were giving him weird looks. He was here in London, where the great Sherlock Holmes worked, and he was going to enjoy it, god damn it!

Theo veered to the left where a small café was. It was tea time, and the place was bustling with tourists. Little round tables were situated outside with open umbrellas over them to protect customers from the harsh sun. Theo climbed through the gate and made his way to the table where his sister was sitting.

Hazel Armstrong was her brother's younger twin. She had waist long blonde hair, brown eyes, and a thin body to match Theo's own. Unlike her brother though, Hazel was wearing a pink corset dress with a multilayered tulle skirt and matching pink calf-high lace up boots. A silver watch dangled from her wrist, a necklace with a pink heart pendant rested on her neck, and an ornate butterfly hairpiece hung from her hair.

"Take off that ridiculous hat, Theo," Hazel snapped as he sat down. Theo ignored her and began enjoying the spread in front of him: Earl Grey tea with milk in little fancy teacups, a plate of scones with clotted cream and jam, cucumber sandwiches, and sponge cake. As he piled on his plate, Hazel continued: "So, what are we up against?"

"Jack Spicer was right," Theo replied. "The Xiaolin Dragons are a bunch of schmucks who have no idea what they're doing. And I don't especially see why Wuya's so afraid of the Dragon of Aether. She's not smart; she's only got a half-decent memory."

"Wuya was afraid of her for a different reason," Hazel thought out loud. "Why is she so dangerous?"

"According to Greek mythology, Aether was one of the first-born elementals," Theo explained. "Aether is the embodiment of the pure upper air that the Greek gods breathe, as opposed to the air mortals breathe. According to Plato, though, it is the fifth element of the normal classical elements, known as quintessence. Aether is neither dry, wet, hot, nor cold, and is incapable of change unless it changes in place. The term was also used by medieval alchemists as a term used for substances that made up heavenly bodies. It was proposed that there was a little quintessence in everything on Earth, so if anything happened in the heavens it could affect the Earth. Later alchemists would use this quintessence in medicine, and the term is now synonymous with the philosopher's stone itself."

"Sounds like you got that from Wikipedia."

"That's because I put it there. Well, most of the information. I didn't know aether and quintessence was the same thing until recently."

"So, what you're saying is that the Dragon of Aether can control all the elements to some degree?" Hazel asked. "And that it's as powerful as the philosopher stone?"

"Not necessarily," Theo quickly corrected himself. "The philosopher's stone can cure any illness, give the user longevity, and turn normal metals into pure gold. But according to alchemy, you can already turn ordinary metal into gold. The stone itself just amplifies the user's powers to incredible levels."

"So if aether is in everything, and quintessence is the same as the philosopher's stone…" Hazel's eyes widened. "That girl can enhance the other dragons' powers like it's a steroid!"

Theo winced. "Steroids? Really?"

"That's what I'm getting here."

"But there's something else that might interest us," he said. "In the 19th century, luminiferous aether, or light-bearing aether, was a theorized medium for electromagnetic radiation."

"So she can control light as well?" Hazel pushed her teacup away from her. "Isn't that poetic? Light is almost synonymous with hope. No wonder Wuya wants her dead."

"Slight problem though," Theo pointed out. "Aether is a Greek invention. China has been around far longer than Greece has, and there's no mention of any quintessence in the Chinese elements. All of the aether theories I've said may not apply here."

"Why is a Greek element hanging around with Chinese elements, anyway?"

"According to Jack Spicer, we're up against the Dragons of Water, Earth, Fire, and Wind. Those are not only Chinese elements but Greek elements as well. It wouldn't be that weird for Aether to pop up in there."

"So we _do_ have to worry about her."

Theo shook his head. "I don't think anyone knows what she's capable of, not even the monks at the temple. Aether is too abstract to pinpoint what her exact powers are." He looked slyly at his sister. "Of course, this is all speculation. There's no need to talk about this with anyone besides ourselves."

Hazel gave him a sly smirk back. "Of course not. Spicer's too stupid to talk to about this. Hell, he even left his trackers lying around for anyone to swipe. You got one on them?"

"Of course. Did you configure them so Jack can't trace them as well?"

"Duh. Just who do you think I am?"

Theo held his hands in surrender. "Just making sure. Do we have a lock on them?"

Hazel tapped her wristwatch and the screen instantly switched to a black grid map with a red blinking dot on it. "They're close. Let's hope the tracker doesn't come off. I still haven't figured out how to trace Shen Gong Wu on our own."

Theo sipped his now cold tea. "You're smart. You'll figure it out."

* * *

"I think someone's moving the Culver Crystal," Dojo said as the monks hurried into a dank alley. The smell of garbage permeated the air no matter how clean the ground was.

"Maybe a dumpster diver found it," Kimiko mused. "He could be on his way to sell it right now."

"Dumpster diver?" Omi asked.

"It's someone who goes through trash to find treasure," Raimundo explained. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"Yuck! Who does that?"

"It's technically easy money," Kimiko pointed out.

"If you call swimmin' in garbage easy," Clay said with an easygoing smile.

"Hello, Shen Gong Wu on the run!" Dojo suddenly cried in frustration.

"Dojo is correct. We must find it before the evil Jack Spicer does," Omi declared, since it wasn't obvious enough.

"Then where is it?" Kimiko asked.

"It's so close I can taste it!" Dojo pointed to the alley maze. "Right up ahead!"

Valerie ran into the dark maze with the others right behind her. A bright light was beckoning to them- the Culver Crystal? She made a mad dash to it-her hand outstretched-she was touching it-

And then another hand grabbed onto the Crystal at the exact time Valerie did.

"Well, well, we meet again," Theo Armstrong said as a greeting. He had abandoned his deerstalker hat and was smirking like an evil mastermind. He looked much creepier now.

Anger flared up in Valerie like a furnace. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting the Shen Gong Wu, but then you grabbed onto it too," he said with a shrug. "Now what are we going to do about it?"

With her other hand, Valerie got the Shen Gong Wu out of her backpack. "With a Xiaolin Showdown; my Shroud of Shadows against your-uh, what Wu do you have?"

"Hazel!" Theo shouted behind him. A girl in a pink corset dress with a ridiculously huge butterfly hairpin emerged from the darkness carrying a big, black sword. She tossed it to him and Theo grabbed it with his free hand.

"I wager my Komori Sword." The sword would have looked normal it there wasn't a bronze plating with a green gem in the middle of the blade. Also, the hilt was all black with bronze bat wings connected the hilt to the steel blade.

"What's the Komori Sword do?" Raimundo asked Dojo from behind Valerie.

"It lets its user hang upside down like a bat," Dojo quickly explained. "It also helps with fighting in the dark."

"Looks like we both got an advantage," Valerie said to Theo. "The game is simple: catch Jack the Ripper. Whoever can capture him wins the Showdown and all three Shen Gong Wu."

Theo shrugged. "Seems simple enough."

"Let's go; Xiaolin Showdown!" Valerie yelled, and bright light hit her right in the eyes. The ground shifted beneath her and she could feel her normal clothes morph into their Xiaolin robes. And when she opened her eyes, she was in 19th century Whitechapel, on one of the nights of the murders. The alley maze had grown exponentially, and the smell of trash permeated the night air along with the stench of death.

"Well, this wasn't a part of my calculations," Theo muttered as he held his sword. He stared at Valerie in surprise. "When did you change clothes?"

"It's part of the Showdown. I'm surprised you don't have your own special outfit." It was true; Theo was still in his white X-Files shirt and jeans. He turned to look at the rooftops, where the monks and Hazel were watching the show. Hazel was still in her overly pink outfit, and she looked just as confused as her brother.

Suddenly the Culver Crystal appeared in the air, the pyramid inside the globe shining brightly. And then it was smothered in darkness, and the shadows quickly grew arms and legs. Clothes appeared on the form, a 19th century working class outfit with brown pants, a white shirt, a patched coat and a gray newsboy cap. The figure had a leather belt on his waist with a knife sheath, and its eyes glowed red.

"That's not Jack the Ripper," Theo announced. "He's supposed to have a top hat and a Dracula-like cape."

The figure disappeared without a retort.

"GONG YI TAN PAI!" Valerie shouted. Theo looked at her, bewildered. "That means go."

"Oh."

Valerie turned on her heel and ran away from Theo, who was still standing there, somewhat in shock. She could hear him curse under his breath as he started to run in the tunnel behind him. Valerie could deal with him later. Right now she somehow had to find Ripper in this maze.

As she ran, Valerie could hear the wind whistling through the alleys, carrying the sound of laughter. Valerie, normally fearless, was getting goose bumps. Then again, it _was_ pretty cold in the maze. It could just be that.

She veered to the left to find it was a dead end. Valerie backtracked and continued running until she heard the sounds of blades crashing. "Shroud of Shadows!" she cried. She covered the cloth over her and continued running towards the sounds.

In the clearing up ahead, Theo was evenly matched against Jack the Ripper. Valerie had never pegged the boy to be so good with a sword. Then she remembered that the Komori Sword allowed the wielder to fight well in the dark. Well, it certainly worked for Theo, who was evenly matched with the murderer.

But he was losing. Theo was panting heavily sweat pouring down his face like rain, while Ripper gave animalistic grunts and continued to fight.

Valerie crept up towards the fighters, and when Ripper slammed Theo into the opposite wall, she lashed out her fist and connected with Ripper's jaw. It felt like punching a brick wall, but the giant man staggered back, rubbing the sore spot. His red eyes searched for her, but came up with nothing.

"Get up, Theo!" Hazel shouted from the rooftops. Valerie took a moment to look over at him. He was slumped on the ground breathing heavily. She almost felt sorry for him.

And then Ripper's giant fist slammed into Valerie's shoulder. The force sent her back skidding to the ground, and she let out a cry of pain on impact. She clutched her aching shoulder, letting go of the Shroud of Shadows and leaving her wide open for an attack.

"Val!" Kimiko yelled out, her voice scared.

Ripper loomed over Valerie like the Grim Reaper, his knife glinting in the pale moonlight. She gritted her teeth and jumped up. Ripper stepped back in surprise as bright light emanated from her eyes. "Aether," she whispered as she jumped-kicked him in the gut. He doubled over and Valerie hopped on top of him, sending him to the ground.

"Got you," she said as the Showdown ended. Bright light washed over everyone, and when Valerie opened her eyes, she was holding the Komori Sword, the Culver Crystal, and the Shroud of Shadows.

"I commend you on your victory," Omi announced as her friends came over.

Kimiko lightly punched Val's good shoulder. "Never scare us like that again."

"She would have been fine," Dojo said dismissively. "There's no killing in a Xiaolin Showdown. If there was the killer would have forfeited the match and the Showdown would be over. Same goes for Shen Gong Wu. There was nothing to worry about."

"Then why were you shaking in Clay's hat for half the Showdown?" Raimundo countered, glaring at the reptile. Dojo looked away nonchalantly.

"How's your shoulder?" Kimiko asked worriedly. Valerie handed the Wu over to Clay and revealed the two-inch wide bruise on her right shoulder.

"I thought it was a lot worse than that," Valerie admitted. She covered up the bruise. "It sure felt that way."

"Nice going genius," Hazel snapped at her brother from ten feet away from them. Theo had gotten up, his hair plastered to his forehead and his shirt covered in sweat. He glanced coolly at the Xiaolin Warriors and said: "We'll meet again, Dragons."

Before he and his sister could disappear, Valerie called out, "The reason why Jack the Ripper didn't wear a top hat and a Dracula-like cape is because he didn't in real life. To stay inconspicuous, he would have worn a working class outfit. The top hat thing is just an exaggeration." And, just to twist the knife, she added, "Get your facts straight before telling other people."

Theo glowered at her before he and Hazel retreated. Raimundo clapped her once on her bad shoulder. "Nice!"

"Ow!"

"Sorry!"

* * *

Jack Spicer's evil lair was actually his parents' basement. Hazel would have laughed in Jack's face if it didn't make sense. After all, evil lairs were expensive and he was still a minor.

The evil lair in question was a large, underground haven with a garage. The walls were painted black, robot parts littered the tables and overflowed the cabinets, and a map of the world covered a single table smack dab in the middle of the room.

Jack Spicer himself was sitting behind a wooden desk, his jacket off. Wuya was hovering over his shoulder as usual. Jack clucked his tongue. "After reading your resumes, I was expecting great things from you two. Great, but evil things, obviously."

"Obviously," Theo repeated hollowly. "The Dragon of Aether had picked a very difficult theme for a Showdown. I can't say I was expecting it."

"You were in Whitechapel, home of the infamous Jack the Ripper murders." Jack narrowed his eyes at him. "You should have expected something close to that."

"Yes, but he didn't expect Ripper making an appearance," Hazel said quickly. "Would you have?"

Jack pondered that for a moment. "No I wouldn't have. But the point is you lost. I have no choice but to let you go." He turned his chair around for emphasis.

"Hold on, Jack," Wuya said. "These two have so much potential. Tell me again why you want to take over the world."

"Because it seems like fun," Theo said with a devilish grin. "Enslaving people, toppling governments, setting the world on fire… It'd be a good way to pass the time."

"We also know where the Xiaolin Temple is," Hazel said quickly. She slapped a folded map onto Jack's desk. "We were able to track them after the Showdown. Now we can steal their Wu at anytime."

"Ingenious!" Wuya cried happily. Jack unfolded the map and studied it. He slowly nodded at them. "I must say, I'm impressed. Of course, I would have eventually figured out where they lived, but you did save me a lot of trouble."

Hazel tried not to glare at the redheaded creep. His gaze lingered longer than usual on her, and she felt slimy all over. Theo must have noticed, because he was furrowing his eyes at him.

Jack seemed to notice this, because he quickly turned back to the map. "I'm willing to let you stay on probation. I'll let you know when I need you again. And if one of you is in a Showdown again and you lose, you can kiss your jobs goodbye."

Hazel had to stop from smirking. She had already figured out a way to find the Shen Gong Wu on her own. On the plane ride back home, she had turned her beloved butterfly hairpin into a Wu tracker. Even if Jack fired them, it didn't matter.

Nothing was going to stop Hazel from world domination. _Nothing_.

* * *

_Hazel is pretty bent on world domination, but only if Theo is interested. If they can't rule together, then they can at least hinder the Xiaolin side for kicks. I'm trying to make that a part of their character._

_So, what do you think? Do you like the Armstrong twins or not?_


	8. Logic and Perky Robots

Chapter 8: Logic and Perky Robots

_Hello, my lovely readers! Here I am with another chapter, even though I've been pretty busy. I've got stuff to do and another story to update. So enjoy my hard work. Please?_

* * *

"Valerie, stop."

"But I'm about to finish level-oh, I died. Let me try again!"

Kimiko gently pried the game controller from Valerie's hands. "No, I think you're done. It's been half an hour and you still can't get past level one. The only person worse than you at videogames is Omi, and he's improving."

Valerie huffed through her nose. "If it had a joystick I would have dominated it."

"There are no joysticks in MarioKart," Clay said from his room, since all the rice paper walls had been retracted so all the rooms turned into one big hallway.

"I knew you failed at technology, but not this badly!" Raimundo jeered from Valerie's left.

She rolled her eyes. "It's just videogames, Rai."

Omi took the controller from Kimiko's hands and began to play. "I am, as you say, turned aflame?"

"On fire, Omi," the Asian girl said patiently. "You're on fire."

"I am on fire?"

"Not literally," Valerie said before she felt a tug at her braid. "Ow!"

"Sorry," Kimiko said sheepishly. She held up a brush. "Your hair's so long; I want to style it."

Valerie sat down with crossed legs. "Go for it." Kimiko immediately sat down behind her and began unraveling her plait. The brunette reached for the Tolkien book she had brought over and began to peruse it, easily getting into the world of wizards and elves and ring bearers.

"Val, there's something in your hair." Kimiko held up something shiny. Everyone stared, even Omi, since he paused the game.

"Is that a computer chip?" Clay asked, getting up real close to study the thing. Valerie turned around and saw a little black square with a red circuit board design.

"Jack Spicer!" Raimundo instantly hissed.

"No. Theo," Kimiko pointed out.

"He put a note and a chip in my hair?" Valerie growled. "Cocky little prick."

Clay plucked the chip out of Kimiko's hands and dropped it to the floor. He stomped his foot on it, crushing it to little pieces. "That takes care of that," he said. "I'll go get a dustpan." He left.

Kimiko went back to brushing Valerie's hair. "So Val, what kind of music to you like?"

"Queen, The Beatles, The Who, Cheap Trick, Elvis Presley..."

"You like those oldies?" Raimundo asked incredulously.

"Better than the rap you listen to." Valerie fixed him a glare. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Don't you listen to anything modern?" Kimiko inquired. "Like, I don't know, Fall Out Boy?"

"Never heard their music."

"How about Panic! At the Disco?" Raimundo asked.

"Never heard of them?"

"How about Taylor Swift?" Clay asked, returning with the dustpan.

"Who?"

"You don't know who she is?" Raimundo stared at her.

"I do not know who she is either!" Omi said, getting into level two of MarioKart.

"Yeah, but that's you," Clay said. "We're talkin' 'bout Val here."

"I don't really follow what's popular now," Valerie confessed as Kimiko played with her hair.

"At least you respect the classics," the Asian girl attested.

Valerie held up her Tolkien book and said, "You got that right!"

* * *

**The Next Day**

The monks were back on the training grounds, looking at Master Fung as be opened a wooden box with Chinese symbols on it.

"In today's training, we will be dividing the Shen Gong Wu among you," he explained. The inside of the box revealed the Eye of Dashi, the Monkey Staff, the Two-Ton Tunic, the Mantis Flip Coin, and the Third Arm Sash.

"The exercise is called…" Omi raised his hand. "Yes, Omi?"

"Xiaolin Surprise!"

"Sounds like an appetizer," Clay joked.

"This is an advanced training technique that relies on a powerful inner force we call…" Master Fung stopped explaining as Omi waved his hand again.

"The instincts of the tiger!"

"Kiss up," Valerie muttered under her breath.

"Which is…Omi?"

"The ability to perfect your opponents' next move," Omi said as Raimundo murmured mocking sounds under his breath.

The teen scoffed. "Yeah, like you can really read minds or something."

"I knew you'd say that," Omi said smugly, making Raimundo stare at him weirdly.

"You-you did?"

"Pfft! Ha-ha! No, I am only, as you say, pushing your arm." Omi waved Raimundo's arm for emphasis.

"You mean pulling his leg?" Clay asked, wanting verification.

"Oh, my badness." Raimundo, who had been sulkily crossing his arms over his chest, had his leg suddenly lifted off the ground by Omi doing a handstand.

"Funny," Valerie said dryly as Raimundo clenched his fists. And then they heard an exasperated sigh coming from Master Fung, who was pinching the bridge of his nose. Omi immediately let go of Raimundo's leg.

"To harness the tiger instinct is to know what will happen before it happens." As Fung was saying this, Raimundo, whistling nonchalantly, tried slapping Omi's head. Omi dodged just in time, and the other boy hit the Monkey Staff, sending it flying to Master Fung.

Fung caught it and said, "Like so. Omi, Clay, take your places in the sparring circle."

They did just that, facing each other, sizing the other one up. They bowed and then turned their backs on one another. Master Fung left a pile of the aforementioned Shen Gong Wu right next to them.

"Choose your Shen Gong Wu," he said as he backed away.

Clay immediately picked one up and yelled, "Eye of Dashi!"

"Monkey Staff!" Omi brandished the weapon. Lightning flashed toward him, but Omi used his newly grown tail to hang from the wooden obstacle course behind him. The lightning bounced off the nearest wall and hurtled itself near the others. Raimundo covered his head, Kimiko ducked down, Valerie hunched her shoulders, and Master Fung stood there calmly like always.

Valerie noticed the lightning bolt hurtling towards Clay. "Clay, watch out!" she warned, and Clay ducked down just in time for the lightning to reach him. It completely incinerated a hole in his cowboy hat and vaporized a part of his hair, but he was otherwise fine.

"Who-we, Omi!" he said. "You sure are quick on the draw."

Monkey Omi dropped to the ground and said, "Thank you my friend in the two gallon hat."

Raimundo walked up to him, hands on his hips. "Uh, that's ten gallon hat."

"Not anymore," said Kimiko.

"Winner advances," Master Fug suddenly announced. "Kimiko, choose your Shen Gong Wu."

"Third Arm Sash!" she suddenly cried. When did she grab a Shen Gong Wu?

"Mantis Flip Coin!" Omi flipped through Kimiko's offense and landed on the ground. She sent the sash over to him, and he dodged. The sash sliced through a pot.

Omi then jumped off of Raimundo's head. Luckily, the sash just knocked the teenager into the pond with fake crocodiles in it.

"Whoops, sorry Rai." Kimiko helped him up. Raimundo spat water out of his mouth, his clothes dripping wet.

Clay lifted his hat, revealing his new bald spot. "You gotta learn to duck, partner."

Raimundo got the black koi fish out of his shirt and tossed it into the pond. "Winner advances," Fung suddenly said. "Raimundo?"

"Omi's tiger instincts against my street smarts?" Raimundo scoffed. "Well this'll be fast."

"And interesting," Valerie mused, crossing her arms. "Don't lose."

"I won't."

"Choose," said Master Fung.

"Fist of Tebigong!" Raimundo punched at Omi, who cried out, "Two-Ton Tunic!" The Fist collided and Raimundo crumpled to the ground in pain.

"Ouch," Clay stated.

"With a capital O," Kimiko agreed.

Valerie sniggered. "At least it was funny."

"A lucky guess!" Raimundo said from the ground. "I want a rematch!"

"Very well," said Master Fung. "But first: winner advances. Valerie?"

Valerie shrugged and confidently walked up the sparring circle. She had figured out the trick to Omi's 'tiger instincts' a while ago. She was nearly sure Kimiko and Clay figured it out as well.

"Choose," Fung decreed. Neither side chose a Shen Gong Wu.

"You go first Omi," Valerie said sweetly. "The others have all this time. It's only fair."

"No, no," he said, shaking his head. "It is always ladies first."

Again, neither side chose.

"Do you both forfeit the match?" Master Fung raised an eyebrow.

Valerie shrugged. "Sure. I don't mind."

Omi eyed her. "I will as well."

"You can have your rematch, Rai," she said as she made her way to the sidelines. Raimundo stalked back into the sparring circle and both boys turned their backs on each other.

"Choose."

"Tangled Web Comb!" The vines erupted from the comb, reaching towards Omi. The little guy calmly turned around and held up a hand.

"I'm good."

Just before the vines reached Omi, they suddenly snapped back towards Raimundo. They encircled him and put him in a hairy bind. He stared bewilderedly at the mess he made before snapping his gaze back to Omi.

"You chose nothing?" Raimundo asked incredulously.

"No, I knew your frustration would lead to your own defeat," Omi said as Master Fung took the comb out of Rai's hands. The vines snapped off him and he was sent spinning around like a top. Clay caught him when he finally stopped.

"Yeah, right," Valerie scoffed. "It's pretty hard to believe your 'tiger instincts' when you cheat."

"I did not cheat," Omi said calmly. "I simply knew what move you were going to do before you did it."

"After you heard us yell out the name of our Shen Gong Wu," Valerie argued. "With that you can gauge what attack we'll do."

"Huh?" Question marks blipped around Raimundo's head. "When did you figure that out?"

"After Kimiko's match."

"Look at you, smarty pants," Kimiko congratulated her.

"You are still wrong about one thing," Omi protested. "Raimundo still lost thanks to his frustration."

"Well, yeah, that's obvious," Valerie said.

"Hey!"

"Excellent training session," Mater Fung said as he carried the chest of Shen Gong Wu away.

"Maybe I'm missing the point," Raimundo said out loud as he got out of Clay's arms. "We're never going to go after each other. And Jack's only got one Shen Gong Wu."

"A pair of chopsticks that can shrink him to the size of a grain of rice," Kimiko said with a snicker.

"We can take him out with a flyswatter." Clay slapped his palms together for emphasis.

Valerie thought for a moment: in all the books she had read over the years, she had found out that underestimating her opponent was a big mistake. Jack was a mechanical genius; he created all the Jack-Bots, after all. It wouldn't surprise her if he came up with some decent plan to take all of the Shen Gong Wu.

Omi had just tried to crack a joke at Jack's expense, but had failed miserably. Kimiko had corrected him, but everyone was laughing anyway. Valerie decided to keep her thoughts to herself. She didn't want the others to flippantly ignore her idea, nor did she want them to laugh at her for even suggesting that Jack was capable of strategic thought.

* * *

Valerie was reading a Terry Pratchett novel in her room when Clay and Raimundo came knocking. "Special delivery!" Raimundo called out from the hallway. Valerie put down her book and looked to see both boys holding a large cardboard box each.

"Oh good, the last of them came," she said as she stepped aside so the boys could put the boxes down in her room. They nearly dropped them in shock when they saw the entire left side of the room packed with books, towering over the mat that was Valerie's bed. On the other side of the mat was a growing pile of pulp fiction and true crime novels.

"What in tarnation…?" Clay said slowly as he took it all in. Raimundo stood there with his mouth hanging open. Valerie ignored them both as she opened the two boxes, revealing even more books in them.

"Exactly how many books do you have, girl?" Raimundo asked when he found his voice.

Valerie did a quick mental count: There was the bookshelf in her room in Switzerland, the little bookshelf in the living room, the kitchen, the large collection in the bathroom…

"About a good five hundred, I think."

"And you actually read all of these?" Clay asked.

"Not all. I had a lot of new stuff back in Switzerland, but I never got around to reading all of them thanks to Dojo and Master Fung," Valerie said as she started sorting out the books in the boxes. And then, as an afterthought, added, "I need to stock up."

"Uh, right. And where would you fit all of them?" Raimundo asked, hands on his hips.

"If I don't like a book, I sell it as used on the Internet," Valerie explained. "It clears up my collection a lot." She dumped the rest of the books out of the boxes and stood up. "I'll go put these away. See you."

"Bye," both boys said as Valerie left them. As she left to put the cardboard into the recycling bin, she noticed Kimiko sneaking back into the dorms like a ninja.

"Hey Kimiko, weren't you with Omi?" she asked. Kimiko eyed her coolly, her blue eyes seemingly lifeless. It unnerved Valerie, to say the least.

"He got held up," Kimiko said, unusually perky. "I have to go do something. Bye!" Without waiting for a response, she bounded away happily.

Valerie cocked her head to one side. Her friend had sounded unusually chipper despite how late it was. Something about that bothered Val, but she shrugged it off. It had been a long day; maybe she was reacting to that. Eric did say that people acted loopy when under a lot of stress.

* * *

**The Next Day**

Everyone except Kimiko was in the courtyard. Clay was twirling a lasso, and Omi was jumping through it like a circus act. "Agility! Timing! Balance! These are the traits of a great warrior!" he was saying.

"And the tiger instincts, right Omi?" Clay said half-jokingly, snapping the lasso back. Omi launched himself up, nearly taking over Clay's height.

"Naturally," he said as he landed. Valerie was too engrossed in her Terry Pratchett novel to give them much thought.

At the bottom of the steps, Raimundo was setting up a table with three cups on it. He was so loud that Valerie looked up from her novel, annoyed.

Raimundo whistled to get the other boys' attention and said, "I don't know about tiger instincts, but if you're a lucky guesser…" He got out a piece of candy from his shirt. "Guess which cup the candy is under." Intrigued, Valerie closed her book and walked down the steps she was sitting on to observe.

Raimundo continued, "If you're right, you keep it. If you're wrong, you owe me." Valerie settled herself down in front of the table next to Omi.

"Now you wouldn't bamboozle our little buddy here because he put a heap of hurtin' on you in training, now would you?" Clay joked, making Omi and Valerie snicker.

Raimundo smirked. "Keep your eyes on the cups." With careful swiftness, he switched the cups around, making the cup with the candy under it undetectable. Valerie's eyes hurt trying to keep track of it.

When it ended, Omi simply pointed to the right cup. Raimundo looked shocked. He picked it up to reveal the candy hidden inside. Omi took it gleefully.

Raimundo put another piece of candy under the left cup. He switched the cups around even faster, and when he finished, he stuck his tongue out childishly.

"The cup on the left," Omi said. He got the second piece of candy.

Raimundo threw down a third piece and said, "Triple or nothing." Omi smiled and Raimundo switched the cups in a madman's frenzy, determined more than ever not to let Omi win. When he finished, he was actually sweating and panting from the exertion.

"Prepare to cough up candy."

"Are you suggesting that I have stored candy inside my mouth?" Omi asked. "That would be most unsanitary."

"Pick a cup!" Raimundo yelled at him. Omi picked the middle cup and got a third piece of candy.

Valerie rolled her eyes. "This has nothing to do with tiger instincts."

"What do you mean?" Clay asked.

"When Omi picked the right cup, he had a one-in-three chance of getting it right. When he picked the second cup, he would have known that Rai wouldn't put a piece of candy under the right cup again, since Omi had already picked it. So he'd have a one-in-two chance. And finally, for the third piece, with two options gone, Rai would have naturally put it under the middle cup. It's simple logic."

"No, it's tiger instincts," Omi protested.

"Logic!"

"Tiger instincts!"

"Hey, guys!" Kimiko suddenly appeared out of nowhere, like a ghost. "What up Raimundo? Those shoes are really nifty!"

"Uh, nifty?" Raimundo looked confused.

Omi ran up to Kimiko and whispered into her ear loud enough for everyone to hear. "Kimiko, did you find your secret admirer?" That put a shock through Valerie. She didn't mention that last night. It would kind of explain her strange behavior, but what really made Val sad was that Kimiko hadn't confided in her. She had thought they'd been closer than that.

"That data has no meaning to this unit," Kimiko said cheerfully. Well, _that_ sounded weird. Ignoring Omi, she walked up to Clay and asked, "Is that a new hat Clay?"

"Yup," Clay attested. "The one I was wearing yesterday got hit by lightning."

"Well, I hope you get hit by lightning everyday because you're super keen!"

"_What_?" Now Valerie was really worried. She stood up and started, "Kimiko-"

She interrupted her. "Val, is that a new book?"

"No, it's an old one."

"That's swell!"

"Swell?" Raimundo repeated mockingly. Kimiko just smiled creepily.

"Thanks, I think," Clay said, referring to the earlier comment. Kimiko stepped back like a ghost, still smiling brightly.

"So let's grab some Shen Gong Wu and start training," she said, punching a fist into her palm for emphasis.

"Uh, we only use the Shen Gong Wu when the master says so," Omi told her sternly. For once, Kimiko's bright smile faltered, and her pretty mouth formed an 'o' shape.

"Processing, processing…" she muttered under her breath. She smiled again. "That is correct! That is why he's the master. I'll try to keep it under control then. See you later, alligators!" She then walked away like a normal human being.

Once she was out of earshot, Valerie said, "That was way too creepy."

"Yes. Something is very wrong with Kimiko," Omi agreed, putting a hand on the table for emphasis.

"Ya think so, Omi?" Raimundo said sarcastically.

Omi, not getting it, said, "I know so. My tiger instincts tell me!"

"No, it was obvious to everyone, Omi," Valerie said, exasperated.

"I think Kimiko's just playing us." Raimundo started to get up. "I don't know what she's selling, but I ain't buying." He walked away, leaving the table for someone else to clean up.

"Don't fret about it, Omi," Clay advised the yellow boy. "Who can understand girls, anyway?"

"I'm right here," Valerie huffed.

"Like I said, who can understand girls anyway?"

* * *

**After Dojo revealed a new Shen Gong Wu…**

Valerie was up in the air, flying on Dojo, trying to keep her white baseball cap on as the wind wrecked havoc with her loose hair. She was dressed casually in gray cargo pants, a white wife beater, and white tennis shoes. She shivered a little; high altitudes weren't known to be warm.

"The Helmet of Jong," Omi announced as the Ancient Scroll revealed a scary looking helmet with tufts of hair sticking out the cranium. "It gives you eyes in the back of your head. I presume you get to keep the ones in front as well."

Dojo landed in front a large hut with wooden walls and a straw roof. It was deserted in the middle of the desert with only a ghost village to keep it company. It wasn't exactly an inviting place.

"Look alive, gang!" Dojo said as they walked inside the main hut. "I got Shen Gong Wu shivers."

The inside of the hut was much bigger than the outside. The dirt floor was sandy, the roof had holes in it, and all the furniture was covered in dust. There was even a fallen idol veering dangerously to the right at the end.

"And so, we begin the search for the Helmet of Jong!" Omi announced as he ran into the room. Valerie searched near an overturned table with one of its legs missing. It was probably a sacrificial table or something. There was nothing, not even a trapdoor underneath. She decided to study Kimiko instead.

She looked normal now, or as normal you can get while wearing Harajuku style. Her hair was red, orange and yellow like a fire, and a white bandana covered her forehead. She had on an orange puffy jacket with the Third Arm Sash tied around her waist, with gray Capri pants and red sneakers. Kimiko was searching the ceiling first, then the floor where the fallen idol was, then finally at Raimundo.

"What are you staring at?" he asked rudely.

Kimiko smiled brightly and gave a thumbs' up. "Just my bestest, bestest buddy Raimundo!"

Again, a flash of worry flared within Valerie. She thought she was Kimiko's best friend. Okay, maybe not-they hardly knew each other- but they were the only girls at the temple. They should have at least been more than acquaintances.

Dojo, now tiny again, shook and pointed his body like an arrow. "There it is!" He was pointing to the idol.

"Where?" Clay asked dumbly.

"Look. Dead. Ahead."

"I think he means the idol," Valerie pointed out tentatively. She shielded her eyes and narrowed them. "I can't see it though."

"The statue's head!" Dojo roared, flailing his little arms and steam pouring out of his ears. "How easy do I have to make this?"

They all ignored him and ran up to the statue, where the Helmet of Jong was pinned right on top of its head.

"I give you the one and only Helmet of Jong," Dojo declared reverently. Just then, loud, angry heavy metal music exploded into the hut.

"What is that?" Raimundo asked.

"Sounds like trouble," Clay said, holding up a fist.

Jack Spicer laughed evilly as he hovered through one of the holes in the roof. The music was clearly coming from him.

"TROUBLE IT IS! Ha, see? Very evil entrance; the theme music helps."

"You're wasting your time!" Wuya scolded him.

"Am I? What do you guys think of the theme music from Jack Spicer, criminal boy genius?" Jack asked the monks conversationally.

"Good hook, but I like something you can dance to," Dojo answered casually, throwing down some moves for the heck of it.

"Well, I'm working on a techno remix that should-"

"GET THE HELMET OF JONG!" Wuya roared, electricity crackling around her.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Jack swooped in, ready to attack. Everyone got into fighting positions but Kimiko leaped in front of all of them and jumped up the idol towards the helmet.

"She's certainly taking the initiative," Valerie muttered, eyes narrow.

Both of them touched the helmet at exactly the same time. Kimiko seemed surprised.

"Kimiko, I challenge you to Xiaolin Showdown!" Jack said. "My Changing Chopsticks against your Third Arm Sash. First one to grab the Helmet of Jong wins."

"Hunky Jack Spicer, I accept your challenge!"

"Did she really say that?" Valerie asked in disbelief. The others were staring at Kimiko like she was crazy.

"I'm not up on the slang you kids use," Dojo noted. "Does hunky still mean dreamy?" Everyone ignored him.

"Let's go: Xiaolin Showdown!" Spears began to erupt from the earth, and the statue copied itself into two and stood up. Then the statues multiplied until there were dozens of them, with one statue twice the size of the others seating the Xiaolin monks on its golden crown. The Helmet of Jong rested on a simple stone statue in the middle of the fray.

Kimiko and Jack were standing on the heads of two statues. "GONG YI TAN PAI!" they both shouted, and the race was on. They both began leaping towards the helmet, and then Jack used the spinners on his backpack to fly.

Kimiko reached a statue and began to climb it, since she couldn't fly like a certain evil boy genius. When she got to the top, Jack hovered before her and whispered something to her. Valerie wished she had super hearing so she could listen in.

Kimiko then used her Third Arm Sash and made a swipe at him. Jack dodged and she turned around and went for the goal. Jack quickly followed; they were soon both close to the helmet.

Something wasn't right, that was obvious. A thought nibbled at the back of Valerie's mind, something that had occurred to her earlier. The way Kimiko's eyes seemed lifeless, the unusual perkiness, the way she had acted earlier… And then she got it. Jack must have sent Kimiko a love note, got her alone, and then brainwashed her or something. It was so obvious; why hadn't Valerie picked it up sooner?

"Guys, I know what's wrong with Kimiko!" Valerie cried out. Omi was the only one to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

And then an "Oops!" escaped from Kimiko's lips. She fell off the statue and plummeted the ground, losing the Showdown. A bright light washed over everything, and the hut went back to normal.

"I got her!" Clay ran forward, arms outstretched. He caught Kimiko and fell to the ground with a crash. Apparently she was heavier than anyone anticipated.

Raimundo helped Kimiko off Clay and said, "Ai, girl, what happened up there?"

"Yeah, you had the helmet practically in your hands," Dojo added.

"I-uh, tripped," Kimiko said brightly.

"I think you've been having an off day," Valerie said slowly. Even though she knew Kimiko was brainwashed, now wasn't the time to alert the others. Not with _her_ in front of them.

"Yeah, that's it," Kimiko said. "I've just been having an off day."

Raimundo scratched his head. "Yeah, I guess it happens."

Valerie could feel eyes on her. Omi was looking at her, eyes narrowed. He shifted his gaze towards Kimiko and then back to her. Valerie nodded slowly.

* * *

In the dorms, Raimundo was at it again, this time using cards to disprove Omi's tiger instincts, even though it was obvious to everyone that is was simply logic. Valerie was in the same room, finishing up her Terry Pratchett novel. Clay was looking over at them from his room, lying on his mat.

When Raimundo lost once again, Clay said jovially, "Face it, Raimundo. He's all over you like stink on a skunk."

"Nuh-uh!" Raimundo said, wagging a finger. "The master isn't through yet." He took one last shuffle of the cards and said, "Got you beat, don't I?"

"No, the ace is in your sleeve," Omi said, disappointed. Raimundo got red swirls in his eyes to signal his confusion. Omi went on. "I only hesitate because I am thinking of Kimiko again. Or perhaps I should say the one who _calls_ herself Kimiko."

Raimundo shook the ace out of sleeve. "Your tiger instincts are king, bro, but your theory about Kim is…it's…"

"Buggier than a June bug?" Clay said helpfully.

"Yeah, it's buggier than a June bug." Raimundo smiled and crossed his arms, satisfied with this conclusion.

Valerie sighed and closed her book. "I've been noticing it too, guys. It's pretty obvious once you think about it."

"Right, let's hear that logic of yours," Raimundo said, smirking.

"Omi, you said Kimiko got a note from a secret admirer last night, right?" Valerie asked him. Omi nodded. "Okay, let's say Kimiko goes out to meet this admirer only to find Jack. He brainwashes her or something and leaves. Brainwashed Kimiko tries to get our Shen Gong Wu and generally acts different."

Raimundo's smirk faltered. "Okay, that makes a lot of sense."

"Though why would he just brainwash her?" Clay asked. "I caught her when she fell. There is no girl out there that weighs _that_ much."

"So it's a robot?" Raimundo asked. Valerie face palmed.

"It's so obvious!" she muttered to herself. "Jack created the Jack-Bots, so why couldn't he create a Kimiko robot? Just because he had only one Shen Gong Wu doesn't mean he's completely stupid. I should have seen this coming."

"Then why didn't you?" Raimundo accused her.

"Because you guys were going on and on about how lame he was I didn't want you to put me down," Valerie yelled. Then she calmed down. "And besides, it's _Jack Spicer. _I didn't know he'd come up with this."

Raimundo looked a little ashamed. "Sorry about that," he muttered.

Omi patted her shoulder. "Next time voice your opinions anyway. Now we must find a way to stop Kimiko-bot."

"Didn't y'all say something 'bout Shen Gong Wu?" Clay said suddenly, getting up from his sitting position.

* * *

They found Kimiko-bot climbing up the steps out of the vault, holding all the Shen Gong Wu.

"I hate being right," Valerie said dryly as they all prepared for battle.

"I should have caught it at nifty," Raimundo said, shaking his head.

Omi pointed a finger at Kimiko-bot. "Imposter! Show your true form!"

Kimiko-bot's eyes turned to triangles and glowed bright yellow. "How about I show you this instead?" she said happily as a blinding flash erupted from her eyes. Then her arm elongated, showing off a metallic shell, and she took a swipe at them.

Raimundo and Clay fell to the ground, Valerie ducked down and slid across the room, and Omi flew through the air towards the robot. Omi kicked it in the head, sending it back and making it hit its head against the wall. It let out a girlish "ow!" as the Shen Gong Wu skidded all over the floor.

"Yeah!" Raimundo cheered while Clay went, "Ooh!"

Kimiko-bot suddenly jerked its head up, and with a scary smile launched itself at Omi and Val. Valerie dodged her fists and sent her leg in a sweeping motion. It fell to the ground and she tried to stomp her foot down on its head, but it rolled away and got a Shen Gong Wu.

"Fist of Tebigong!" it shouted, aiming for Valerie. She grabbed and put on a tunic.

"Two-Ton Tunic!" she said, feeling the heavy weight of the armor encase her. Barely able to stand, she watched with sadistic satisfaction as Kimiko-bot was flung back from the impact.

Suddenly Kimiko-Bot launched itself through the air and shouted, "Eye of Dashi!" Valerie slid out of the tunic and ducked to the ground while Omi gracefully dodged the bolts. He even jumped onto the wall and ran around that way with lightning chasing after him.

Valerie spied a black cloak near her and grabbed it. "Shroud of Shadows!" she cried and she put it on her. As quietly as she could she crept toward Kimiko-bot while it was preoccupied with Omi. And then she punched it in the face. Valerie cried out in pain as her fist connected with the hard metal. She had to back away, holding her hand as Kimiko-bot searched for her.

And then Raimundo and Clay decided to get in the game, both boys shouting out their respective elements and running towards the robot. They were on either side of it. Raimundo grabbed the Fist of Tebigong and Clay the Eye of Dashi. While it looked around bewildered, Valerie kicked it in the stomach, sending it reeling back.

But Valerie wasn't done yet. Oh no. This robot impersonated her friend and she wasn't getting away with it. Despite the pain in her fist, Valerie punched the robot again in the head, then in the stomach, then in the shoulders. And then finally she kicked it back towards the wall.

But the robot didn't retain any damage. None of the wounds Valerie inflicted on it were showing. Right now it was searching for her, a blank look on its face. Then its face brightened and it made a grab out in front of her. Valerie dodged to the left, getting as far away from Kimiko-bot as possible. She had to find another way to attack it, even though her fists were probably bleeding.

And then the real Kimiko crashed through the wall in one of Spicer's hovercrafts. She aimed for Kimiko-bot and slammed it back into the wall with another crash. Smoke erupted from the mess; the hovercraft was completely destroyed along with part of the wall.

Valerie tied the Shroud around her waist and with the others, went up to the wreckage. Kimiko lifted a giant brick fragment off of her. "I am so glad that you are back!" Omi said happily. "I have been telling the others for days that you were not-"

Another Kimiko shot out of the bricks with a smile on her face. "Dear God, it still lives!" Valerie shouted hysterically.

"She's the imposter, Omi!" The Kimiko in front of him said. The other Kimiko pushed her aside.

"No, she is!" Both girls grappled at each other in a lock. The others were staring at them, confused.

As the girls continued to catfight, Clay asked, "Boy, how are we going to solve this one?"

"The instincts of the tiger, Omi," Raimundo said, nudging him. "You can do this."

"I never believed them before, but I will now," Valerie said as she watched her friend take on her evil doppelganger, whoever that was.

Omi leaped through the air and landed feet first on the Kimiko on the left. Time seemed to freeze for a moment before the robot exploded in a fiery mess. The head of the robot landed near the other monks, half of its face melted to show off the metal inside.

Omi and the real Kimiko were hunched over and covered in soot. "Nice job, Omi," real Kimiko said before falling over.

Raimundo and Clay got all up in Omi's business. "How'd you know which one was the real one?" Clay asked, curious.

"Tiger instincts; awesome!" Raimundo gave a flamboyant thumbs' up.

"You know, I think I'm starting to believe it," Valerie admitted shyly.

Omi coughed. "Actually, that time I guessed."

"WHHHHAAA?" all three of them went as Omi gave them an impish smile.

"Guys?" Kimiko was kneeling over the stairs of the vault. "Where are all the Shen Gong Wu?"

* * *

_Mwa-ha-ha! Cliffhangers._

_Did anyone else notice Omi's so called 'tiger instincts' are really logical assumptions? I can't have been the only one._


	9. Indiana Jones and Harry Potter

Chapter 9: Indiana Jones and Harry Potter

_From the look of things, I'll be able to upload 1-2 chapters a month. I have another story that takes precedence over this one, so sorry if you have to wait._

* * *

"Kimiko-bot stole everything!" Valerie cried, outraged as she bandaged her bleeding hands. She was in the Shen Gong Wu vault with the others and Master Fung, searching for even a sliver of the mystical objects. The master had conveniently brought a first-aid kit, which Valerie was using at the moment.

"This is most unfortunate," Master Fung said in his slow, calm monotone.

"They're all gone," Raimundo said, in shock. He had spoken it quietly, but the words echoed in the blue chamber.

"Not all of them," Kimiko announced triumphantly. She held up a small glowing disk- the Mantis Flip Coin.

That reminded Valerie. "We got a second right here." She quickly untied the Shroud of Shadows from her waist and held it up.

"The Mantis Flip Coin and the Shroud of Shadows," Clay said. "That ain't much."

"This has gotta be the work of Jack Spicer!" Raimundo declared.

"No shit Sherlock," Valerie said irritably, handing the first-aid kit back to Master Fung with a thank-you.

"But how did he do it?" Omi inquired.

"Didn't he have the Changing Chopsticks?" Clay said. "And his hover-pack…"

Valerie shook her head. "You gotta admit; he's a lot smarter than he lets on."

"This coming from the girl who took so long to figure out what was wrong with Kimiko-bot earlier," Raimundo said caustically. Valerie glared at him.

"And this coming from the boy who never figured it out at all," she shot back.

"Now let's all just calm down here," Clay said, putting his giant self in between the two of them. "We just got a real nasty shock and we're all frustrated. That ain't no reason for our tempers to be turnin' on each other."

"Clay is right," Master Fung interjected. "Accusing each other now will give the Heylin side another victory."

Valerie looked at Raimundo. "Sorry," she said quietly.

"Yeah, me too," he said, smiling slightly. "How're your hands?"

She shrugged and held them up. "Nothing I can't handle. The robot was made out of tougher stuff than I thought. When Omi kicked it back earlier, I thought it was weaker."

Everyone turned to Omi, who shrugged his shoulders bemusedly. "Spur of the moment?"

"Really?" Kimiko raised an eyebrow. "When I kicked it yesterday I almost broke my foot. That's how I was captured."

Everyone stared at Omi, who was now sweating bullets. "Spur of the moment?" he repeated weakly.

"Do you think he's a robot?" Valerie whispered as loudly as she could to Kimiko. "It'd explain a lot."

"I am not a robot!"

"Of course he is not," Master Fung scoffed. "He is simply better trained than you. He has been here longer, so technically he must be stronger."

"Either that or he's a robot," Raimundo joked.

"I AM NOT A ROBOT!" Omi roared his yellow face tomato red. Everyone began to laugh, lightening the mood considerably.

* * *

"Are you sure he has all the Shen Gong Wu?" Theo asked his twin as they entered Jack Spicer's basement.

"For the millionth time, yes!" Hazel hissed as she took off her pink butterfly hairpin. It quickly transformed into a square with a screen and flashing buttons on it. The screen was a black grid with a few blinking green lights on it. A cluster of them was concentrated near the back of the lair. Hazel walked up to a metal closet and opened it.

"What are we taking?" she asked her brother absentmindedly. She held up the Eye of Dashi and gently traced the gem with her finger.

"Why not all of it?" Theo asked as he grabbed the Komori Sword.

"We don't have a bag big enough to hold all of them," Hazel pointed out. "We should just take half of them. That way we give Spicer and the monks a fighting chance."

"The monks _will_ try to take them back," Theo mused. "Trying to make things interesting, are we?"

She smirked. "But of course. Now come on, we don't have much time. Grab what you can and let's go." She quickly took the Tangled Web Comb and stuck it in her hair. Theo took the Sword of the Storm and tied the two swords to his back with some rope he found lying around.

Hazel had just grabbed the Third-Arm Sash when a loud siren went off. The lights in the lair went bright red, and the robot pieces in the room were starting to move.

Theo quickly closed the door. "Let's get out of here!" No sooner had he said that when a Jack-bot appeared out of nowhere. Three more swarmed the twins from their sides.

"Haze, get us out of here!" Theo shouted, since he couldn't untie his Wu in time.

"Eye of Dashi!" she shouted. Lightning shot out of the gem and hit the nearest robot, incinerating it. "Whoa," she said as smoke lingered around the Eye.

"Hazel!" Theo cried out a warning. She turned to see her brother fighting a Jack-bot and losing pitifully. Theo had never been good at sports.

Hazel got the Comb out of her blonde hair and said, "Tangled Web Comb!" Hairy vines erupted from it, tying up the robot. She swung her arm and hit it with another Jack-bot, sending them crashing to the wall. It created a conveniently large hole for them to escape through.

But there was still one more robot. Theo snapped the rope off one of his swords. "Komori Sword!" he shouted. He swung the sword as hard as he could and sliced the Jack-bot in half. Panting, he smiled triumphantly.

"Let's go!" Hazel ordered. Theo nodded and together they jumped through the hole.

* * *

"RAIMUNDO!" Omi shouted. "PREPARE FOR A MOST SHAMEFUL DEFEAT!"

Raimundo scoffed in front of the goal post. "Oh, yeah? Take your best shot, Omi!"

Omi kicked the soccer ball as hard as he could at the goal. Raimundo tried to block it, but he acted too early; he fell onto the grass as the ball whizzed past him, hitting the net.

Omi jumped into the air and shouted, "GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL!"

Raimundo lifted his head and spat out grass. "Nice one," he admitted. "Hey, where are you going?" he asked as Omi ran past him. He ran over to Kimiko, who was playing her videogame.

"So, Kimiko, you were saying?" Omi asked her quickly. Valerie walked over to the goal post and picked up the soccer ball. She and Raimundo watched as Kimiko quickly explained the videogame to the little monk. He then took the game and quickly surpassed level one.

Clay then walked over holding two separate ropes. "Hey, Omi, I tracked down that extra lasso," he said. "You wanna try trick ropin'?"

Valerie threw the ball high into the air and bounced it back and forth on her knees when it landed. She did this while she watched Clay teach Omi how to rope some doggies.

"You're pretty good at that," Raimundo said admiringly as he watched Valerie absentmindedly kick the ball with her knees.

"I played a lot of sports when I was a kid," Valerie said simply.

"I take it the enigmatic Eric taught you," he said slyly.

Valerie stopped bouncing the ball and held it. "I never told you about him?"

"You may have mentioned him."

She shrugged. "He's the guy who's been taking care of me ever since I was little."

"What about your parents?"

"They're busy with work." Valerie dropped the ball and put her foot on top. "We gonna play or not?"

Taking the hint, Raimundo smirked and guarded the goal post. "Bring it on."

Valerie kicked the ball as hard as she could towards the goal. Raimundo caught it in the stomach, his arms around it. He kneeled on the ground as he gasped for breath.

"Ai, girl, you kick hard," he panted.

Valerie walked over to him and helped him up. "Eric always was a good teacher."

Becoming bored, Raimundo watched as Omi tried to lasso and play the videogame at the same time. An evil smile spread on his face as he kicked the ball up into his hands.

Valerie gave an evil smile of her own. "Do it."

Raimundo kicked the ball towards Omi, saying, "You better protect your goal, Omi!" With determination, Omi went after him with the videogame and lasso in hand. He stood in front of his goal post and tried to guard, only to get tied up in his lasso in the process.

Omi detangled himself and said, "I am most humiliated."

"Maybe if you just did one thing at a time, you might have more luck, Omi," Clay said wisely.

"But all these recreational activities you have shown me; I must master them all!" Omi declared. "Especially the confusing Ring Lord book."

"You mean Lord of the Rings," Valerie pointed out, delighted that he was trying to read one of her books.

"That too. But then there is combat practice and chores…"

"And there aren't enough hours in the day, huh," Kimiko said.

Dojo chose that moment to slither up to them. "Hey, Dojo," Raimundo greeted him. "What's shakin'?"

"M-m-me!" Dojo said as he began to tremble. "A new Shen Gong Wu just activated!"

**Five Minutes Later**

In the room of the Ancient Scroll, Master Fung was explaining the newest Shen Gong Wu.

"The Ring of the Nine Dragons," he began. "It makes one warrior into as many as nine."

"Nine different places at one time?" Omi exclaimed. "Ooh, that would be most helpful!"

"At this point, any Shen Gong Wu would be helpful," Kimiko said grimly.

"True," Raimundo agreed woefully. "We only got two Shen Gong Wu."

"Thanks to that dirty snake Jack Spicer," Clay hissed.

"Then let's stop gabbing and start grabbing, shall we?" Dojo said from atop of Clay's hat.

* * *

The hot sun made Valerie glad she was wearing jean shorts and her blue t-shirt with the Superman logo on it. The bandages on her hands were itchy, but it didn't deter her from finishing putting her hair in a braid. She spied a square Aztec pyramid with giant steps leading into the interior.

Dojo landed in the front where Jack Spicer's bonze hovercraft was parked. "Is that Spicer's jet car?" Kimiko asked rhetorically.

"Top of the line, fully loaded…evil?" Clayanswered. "Yep, that's Jack's."

Valerie spied a green Hummer with airplane wings attached to the sides parked on the left. "And who does that belong to?" she asked, pointing to it.

"You don't think Theo and Hazel?" Kimiko asked worriedly. Valerie bristled at the thought of Theo as Dojo landed in front of the temple.

The temple wasn't nearly as impressive inside as it was outside. In fact, it was dark with spider webs in the corners. Valerie couldn't understand how they were supposed to see the Shen Gong Wu in this darkness.

"Hey, Kimiko, you wouldn't by any chance have a flashlight, would you?" she asked. She was only able to make out her friend's violet hair and her bright green shirt and loud pink socks. Kimiko smoothed down her brown skirt as she said, "No, sorry, Val."

"Afraid of the dark, Val?" Raimundo sniggered.

"Jack has the Komori Sword, which allows him to fight easily in darkness," Valerie stated. "If we have some light, it'll give us an advantage against him."

"True, but I'm not Jack," a female voice said through the darkness. A slicing sound could be heard, and Valerie dodged in time to see a glowing green blade hack the floor in front of her. She landed into Raimundo, who held her arms cautiously.

Hazel was sneering at them, despite being surrounded by Xiaolin monks. She easily unstuck the blade from the ground and lifted the Komori Sword over her shoulders. "Theo never could use this right," she said almost sadly.

"I thought Spicer had that Sword," Clay said, confused.

Hazel barked out a harsh laugh. "I stole it from him, nimrod!"

"Do not talk to him that way!" Omi yelled defiantly. He launched himself at the villainess, fists flying.

"Komori Sword!" Hazel shouted, the blade glowing green once more. She leaped into the air, just narrowly dodging Omi. He landed into Clay instead. Hazel hung from the roof upside down, her feet sticking to the ceiling. She gave the impression of a pink bat.

"It's been fun playing with you losers, but I have a Shen Gong Wu to find," she sneered. "Later!" The shadows overtook her and she was gone.

"Dojo, we need to find the Ring," Kimiko said with urgency in her voice.

"Say no more." Dojo immediately began to shake. He pointed to the wall in front of them.

"But that's a dead end," Valerie pointed out, puzzled.

"Press the stone here," the green dragon said. Clay pushed the very center stone, and it slid back far into the wall. Nothing happened.

"And then what?" Kimiko asked hurriedly.

"Master Dashi said 'ah!'"

"As in 'ah, I understand?'" Raimundo suggested.

"No, it was more like…" The floor beneath the six of them fell away into a dark pit. Everyone screamed "AAAAAHHHHH!" as they plummeted to their deaths.

"Right, like that!" Dojo shouted unhelpfully.

Omi's forehead began to glow and he dove right into the bottomless pit, latching onto a square hole in the wall. Just as he slid in, Clay got out a lasso as the rest plummeted downward.

"Grab my hand!" Clay ordered them, and the three of them grabbed on as he sent the lasso towards Omi. Omi caught it and they stopped falling. They then saw the sharp spikes at the bottom in the greenish water.

Valerie gave a relieved sigh. "That was way too close."

"No kidding," Raimundo agreed.

Clay put his feet to the wall and said, "Hang on." He began to rope climb the wall. Kimiko, Raimundo, and Valerie clung to his shoulders and waist as he quickly went into the hole.

Valerie climbed deep into the tunnel before finally lying down on the cold stone floor. "Woo, sharp spikes." Dojo slapped his head. "You'd think I remember something like that. Go figure."

Knowing that the rest was over, Valerie led the way through the tunnel while the others followed her. It was long and winding, but the end revealed a room with an empty pedestal. Wasn't the Ring of the Nine Dragons supposed to be there? Where was it?

Valerie jumped down and examined the pedestal. "It's gone," she stated.

The others followed suit with Clay making the most noise. "You're kidding," Kimiko said in disbelief.

"Hazel and Theo!" Raimundo snarled.

"You called for us?" Theo said in a slimy voice. He and his sister walked out of the darkness, a sword strapped to each of their backs. "About time you got here. I was getting bored waiting for you."

Hazel held up her left hand, revealing a black gold ring. "How do you like the Ring of the Nine Dragons? I think it looks better on me."

"You waited for us to get here?" Dojo asked, scratching his head. "When you could've just walked away with the Ring?"

"That'd be too easy," Theo said. Hazel slid the Ring off her finger. "It's more fun with a fight!" On that signal, she tossed the Shen Gong Wu into the air.

"Mantis Flip Coin!" Omi shouted, flipping through the air. He grabbed the Ring in his hands.

Theo took the sword off his back. "Sword of the Storm!" He spun the blade in a circle, sending a whirlwind at the monks. The wind pinned them all to the wall, and Omi dropped the Ring.

The Ring clattered into the center of the room. Theo stopped his attack and went for it. Clay threw himself across the floor and slid towards it. Both touched the Shen Gong Wu at the same time.

"Theo…uh, what's your last name?"

"Armstrong."

"Theo Armstrong, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown," Clay said. "You're Sword of the Storm against my Shroud of Shadows. Whoever finds the Ring in the labyrinth wins."

"Let's go: Xiaolin Showdown!" both boys said in perfect cadence. A blinding light washed over everything. The ground rumbled and shifted, lifting the Xiaolin monks high into the air. The pyramid itself seemed to flip over, revealing the booby trapped maze beneath it. The Ring of the Nine Dragons rested on a pedestal in the very middle.

Valerie blinked when she noticed that she and her friends were in a tree. There was a stone ledge attached to it, making it safer to stand. It was a strange contraption. She looked to her left to see Hazel and Jack Spicer on their own respective stands, staring over at the match. Valerie turned her attention back to Clay.

"GONG YI TAN PAI!" the two boys shouted before going their separate ways, Theo going to the left, Clay to the right. Theo immediately fell into a pit with spikes on the bottom.

"Was that the same pit we fell in?" Omi inquired the others.

"Ha! He fell for it!" Dojo jeered, pretending to wipe a tear away.

"GOD DAMN IT THEO!" Hazel roared at her brother.

And then the labyrinth did something unexpected; it began to shift. The stone walls were moving, destroying old routes and creating new ones. It was like the magical staircases in that one Harry Potter movie Valerie saw.

Bewildered, Clay kept going, since his earlier route seemed unchanged. He ran as fast as he could to the center, the untouched part of the maze. Suddenly he stepped on a booby trap, and a giant stone ball magically appeared from behind him. With a scream he ran away from it, clutching his cowboy hat Indiana Jones style.

"You can do it, Clay!" Valerie shouted as Clay dodged to the right. He landed in another pathway and waited for the ball to roll past him. He stood up and then climbed the wall to the top. Keeping his arms out for balance, he stood on top of the ledge and looked at the very center of the maze.

Theo had just gotten out of the pit, the hilt of his Sword clamped between his teeth. Taking it out, he shouted, "Sword of the Storm!" He launched himself upward, the Sword swinging from underneath him like a propeller. He lay flat with his arms outstretched under him, and he began to move.

"BOO, YOU SUCK!" Jack catcalled.

"Shut up, Jack!" Hazel snarled at him.

Clay noticed Theo with wide eyes. He took out the black shroud and said, "Shroud of Shadows!" He covered himself with the invisibility cloak and disappeared.

Theo propelled himself towards the center, darting his head back and forth as he searched for Clay. He was almost there when he was suddenly knocked to the side by some invisible force. The Sword of the Storm clattered away from him as Theo landed painfully onto the ground.

Clay suddenly reappeared on top of him and he hopped back onto the wall, standing over the edge. He made his way like that over to the Ring of the Nine Dragons, hoping from one ledge to another.

"Ooh, how brilliant!" Omi acknowledged happily. "Now he does not have to worry about the booby traps."

"But he still has Theo after him." Kimiko pointed a finger. "Look!"

Theo was getting up. Grabbing the Sword, he climbed up the stone wall and copied the way Clay stood on the ledges. He jumped to the next ledge, making his way towards Clay.

Clay turned around just in time to see Theo leap through the air, the Sword held in his hands like a katana. With wide eyes he jumped back just as the Sword hit the stone with a loud _CRACK_. Clay landed on his back, the Shroud right next to him.

Theo unstuck the Sword from the stone and began to shout the name. Clay reached for the Shroud again, only to land his hand on another stone that slid into the ground. Theo stopped midsentence and both boys watched dumbly as black spots in the walls appeared. Out came stone statues with loincloths and spears and helmets that looked like eagle heads, with the beaks covering the face. They slowly marched towards the boys.

"Shroud of Shadows!" Clay shouted, once again invisible. Now with only one boy around, the statues made their way towards Theo.

"Sword of the Storm!" He twirled the Sword again, using the whirlwind as a weapon. The stone statues stood stock still as the wind passed over them harmlessly. It didn't even move them an inch.

Theo stopped the attack, petrified. And then something snatched the Ring of the Nine Dragons off its pedestal, and the Showdown was over. With a blinding light, everything shifted back into its normal positions.

"You idiot!" Hazel shouted at her brother. "This is why I should do the Showdowns!" Theo muttered something unintelligibly. To Valerie, it sounded like, "Fuck off."

Jack Spicer sneered at them. "Not so tough now without a Shen Gong Wu protecting you!"

"Komori Sword!" Hazel lifted the Sword high into the air, and in seconds, she and her brother were encased in shadows and gone from their sight.

Spicer turned to Clay, who had the Ring, the Shroud, and the Sword of the Storm in his arms. "You win this time, Xiaolin losers!" he declared. His hover pack produced the spinners and lifted him up into the air. "But next time, beware the awesome power of Jack Spicer, evil boy genius!" And with an evil laugh he flew through the tunnel he came through.

Everyone turned to Clay, who was smiling triumphantly. "I reckon we got us a nice haul here."

* * *

The night air was pleasantly cool as Dojo flew the monks back to the temple. The full moon gave them plenty of light for Clay to show off the Ring of the Nine Dragons.

"I cannot wait to try out the Ring of the Nine Dragons!" Omi said happily as he took the Ring out of Clay's hands. "Now I can be in nine places at once and do all those recreational activities."

"Hold your horses there partner," Clay chided him jovially. "We should wait to see what Master Fung says about this."

"He's right Omi," Valerie pointed out. "Cloning things can get easily out of hand. It's too dangerous for us to use outside of emergencies."

"Can't I just try it out once?" Omi pleaded, giving the puppy dog pout. Tears were even pouring out of his eyes.

"We better not," Kimiko said gently.

"But if Master Fung says it's okay, then you can use it do to whatever you want," Raimundo reminded him. Omi instantly perked up.

"Then I will wait for the Master's verdict," Omi declared. He held out the Ring for Clay, but then began to wobble as Dojo began to shake his large body.

"Sorry, kids, we've got some turbulence," Dojo called as the wind buffeted them. Everyone hung onto Dojo's scales for dear life. Omi tried to put the Ring in his shirt sleeve, but it slipped out of his fingers and went over the side.

Valerie saw and immediately went for it. She reached over the edge and caught it before it fell over the side. But then the wind picked up again and she fell off the dragon's back, plummeting to the ocean below.

The others were screaming her name in fear. Valerie was also screaming, but it was in delight. She was freefalling, shouting, "WWWHHEEEEEEEE!" at the top of her lungs as Dojo immediately went to save her. Just before she hit the icy spray of the ocean, she saw the green lizard fly below her, her friends reaching out their hands to catch her. She landed on top of Clay in a heap, and Dojo flew back towards the air.

"That was so stupid!" Kimiko screeched fearfully. The worry was etched on her face. "Did you do that on purpose?"

Her heart was pounding, the adrenaline rushing through her veins like a drug. Valerie unclenched her hand and palmed the Ring back to Clay. When she found her voice, she said, "Of course I didn't. I just wanted to get the ring back."

"And you fell off you idiot!" Raimundo put a finger in her face. "You could have died!"

"I knew Dojo would save me," Valerie said simply. And then she said, in a tiny voice, "Can I go again?"

* * *

_I can't be the only one who thinks the Shroud of Shadows acts like an invisibility cloak. XD As for the Indiana Jones reference, I had to. They were in an ancient temple, for Christ's sake! It was too hard to pass up._

_So, thoughts?_


End file.
